Has anyone gotten pregnant after this long TTC (without IVF)?(27 Posts)
This is our 20th month of TTC and we haven't had any hint of a pregnancy in that time. We have a 3 year old DS together and have had lots of tests which show no problems, but it's just not happening. This is my 3rd month on Clomid, started on 50mg but doc prescribed 100mg this month to try and bring ovulation forward (didn't ov til day 21 last month) and it seemed to do the trick as ov-ed day 16 this month.
I'd told myself I'd try until the end of this year, which would make it 2 years of trying, and so have started trying to prepare myself for life as a one-child family, but was wondering whether anyone out there got pregnant after such a long wait? I imagine that the longer TTC has unsuccessfully gone on for, the less chance of it happening without assistance...?
I know I'm incredibly lucky to have DS already, and my heart goes out to people TTC for their first baby without luck, and sometimes I think that because I've been so lucky to have him already then I shouldn't expect a second baby anyway - but I'm still desperate for one.
Am very sorry to read about your ttc problems. Secondary subfertility as this type of situation is often termed is more common than many people realise but that does not make it any easier.
Who prescribed the clomid and just as importantly why was it prescribed?. Was this explained to you properly?. How do you know you actually ovulated on day 16 this month, that is a very precise day.
Clomid's main and only job is to work the ovaries harder. It should only be prescribed if there is evidence that ovulation is not happening.
If you have been ttc for this length of time you as a couple need to be under the care of a subfertility unit in hospital. What do you think of the care you have received to date; it is okay to seek a second opinion if you want to and the GP is the person to re-refer you if you think necessary.
What tests have been done on both of you to date?. Any tests done over six months ago should be discounted; you both need up to date test results. Sometimes tests can get missed out and couples end up not being adequately investigated as a result.
You will need to be persistant, both of you need to be persistant, in order to get answers. Do not be fobbed off.
I would second attila's advice, but I would also like to encourage you that it can happen after even longer. One friend of mine had to wait 10 years, for hers to happen, she had given up all hope. Two years later she had another one as well.
Secondary infertility is hard, but don't give up hope yet.
One of my friends ttc-ed for 2 years for first and 2.5 years for second.
If you think of a normal distribution curve about time taken to conceive, most people will be successful between 3-12 months, with a few taking just one month and a few taking much longer.
It's a bummer, but if there's nothing medically wrong, hopefully every month will bring you nearer a successful conception.
10 years??! Now I'm even more depressed!
Thanks Yellowsubmarine. Got preg with DS on first month of trying so I suppose maybe I'm due a longer wait...just can't help panicking that it won't happen at all some days.
I have a success story for you.
We were in a very similar position to you. In fact I bet we started trying about the same time for no 2 (Jan 2010?). We have ds who is 3 next month. We had the basic blood tests done after 1 yr ttc and nothing unusual on those. Dh's first SA came back a bit low on motility so he cut down on caffeine and started taking male conception vits. We were referred to the fertility unit and They repeated dh's SA (3 months after the first) and sent me for a HSG x-ray. Dh's SA had improved to normal and hsg showed nothing (but may have cleared tubes?)
Back to the fertility unit and I was prescribed 3 mths of clomid (50mg) to start from my next cycle. Still haven't started it as my next cycle never arrived - I got a BFP instead! That would have been month 19 of trying with no sniff of a pregnancy before that.
Incidentally I was prescribed clomid
But no sign that I had any problems ovulating or even that I was ovulating late. I had a really regular cycle and was ovulating pretty much in the middle of it. I was surprised at being prescribed the clomid as I had always thought it was for if there was an ovulation 'problem', but the consultant seemed to think that there was some evidence that it could help 'people in our position' anyway
I do identify though with the other points you made. We also had given ourselves until the end of the year and I was really coming to terms with only having ds. As you say it makes you realise how lucky you are to have that one.
I do hope you get your bfp soon - but it is possible to have nothing for so long and then something from nowhere.
Oh and I had no trouble conceiving ds either (pg 2nd mth of trying, but m/c and then third mth of trying = ds)
Thanks Biscuits - you've really given me hope. Congrats on your BFP! Your story sounds very similar to mine (except the BFP bit...) as you've had all the same tests, and DH had an initial poor motility result, followed by a normal result in April this year after he started taking Wellman vits for a few months.
I still can't quite believe that I'll have the joy of another pregnancy/baby as it feels like it's something which happens to other people now after all this time, but clearly it could happen for us so will keep on trying for now.
Stick with it PinkCustard. I know what you mean about it feeling that it is something for everyone else. I kind of thought though that if DH's SA had been down for the whole of the 14 or so months before we had it tested and if his motility had improved by May then really maybe we were only in our first few cycles of trying (if you see what I mean?).
Hope you get your bfp soon xx
Yes I've thought that too Biscuits about my DH's SA - will try to keep my pecker up and stay hopeful (easier some days than others). You must be over the moon about your pregnancy, take good care of yourself.
Thanks Bigun that's just what I want to hear.
I remember last Christmas Day watching endless episodes of One Born Every Minute (Why FFS?!) and drowning my sorrows (AF had arrived on Christmas Eve - nice). I'd thought to myself 'Well I'm bound to at least be preg by next Christmas, or maybe even have a new baby' and here we are now hurtling into Autumn...must stay positive, must stay positive, must stay positive...
It is hard to stay positive I know what you mean. I remember last June / July time (2010) a friend at work knew we were ttc and I was starting to think it was all taking a while and she said 'oh, you'll be pg by Christmas for sure'.
At the time I thought 'Pah! I should jolly well think so - Christmas is ages away. I hope I can do a little better than that! Ermmmm......
There is a lovely thread on here called TTC 6+ Months Part 2 They are a lovely lovely bunch of ladies who have all been trying a while. Many have been trying for over a year too and I found them all super supportive. It helps (or at least for me) to have someone else to discuss it all with - it's not the same I think ttc after such a long time. In the first year I used to think 'oooh, if we get pg this month, it will be a [x month] baby' but then that optimism sort of wears off.
We are very happy about our BFP (although still early days - only 8-9 weeks along and a long way until that 12 week scan to tell us if everything is OK - I'm v paranoid after previous m/c). I have to say though, that at first I really felt like it wasn't real - it couldn't really be me. Sounds over-dramatic maybe but definitely how I felt.
Anyway, if you feel like it check out that thread - I definitely found them to be very supportive. Also because most have been trying for a while they are going through the same sorts of tests etc which can be nice to have others in the same boat.
Hope that helps xx
Yes, how did you know when you ovulated? Are you using OPKs? Or the ovulation method?
If you're not using the cervical mucus checking ovulation method, I can recommend it - it has helped me get pg twice since having DS, although both ended in MC - but am under a gynae now to try and help me stay pg.
She didn't recommend Clomid as it didn't increase my chance of becoming pg, apparently; and definitely increased my chances of twins! <eep!> So i haven't taken it.
DS is 3.8 now and we started trying when he was 9mo, so nearly 3y ago - 2 BFPs + MC since then and still trying.
I wondered about the clomid thing and whether it would really help - I felt very slightly when the consultant prescribed it as if he was saying 'well, you've nothing to lose...' if that makes sense? Almost a stab in the dark. The only way I could think of it was that the tests we had had done don't test for everything so there was a chance Clomid might fix some unknown un-diagnosed problem and wouldn't have bad side effects (other than possibility of twins!). That was their last role of the NHS dice because we already had DS so wouldn't get any treatment without going private.
Not sure whether I felt fobbed off or not, but definitely was a bit nervous about taking something that was being prescribed as a shot in the dark as far as I could tell! Also, they weren't going to monitor me or anything or follow up after the clomid so I really felt like they were just 'oh, it can't do any harm can it'
Apologies that was just a random clomid ramble.
Another sucess story for you. My eldest was conceived after 3 months of trying, when I was 35. When he was 18 months we decided to start trying for a second child. After 2 years I had a chemical pregnancy. I had all the hormone tests (came back as within the normal range) and an HSG. Secondary infertility is just soo bloody hard to go through, with that hope and disappointment every month. And the number of times people said 'Just relax and it'll happen, you're getting too stressed' etc. Aaarrgh!
Finally on the 36th month of trying and at age 40, I got my BFP. And my ds got twin brothers!
Oh I hate the 'Just relax' thing - I was relaxed at the start and It Did Not Work! No one who has ever taken a while to conceive has ever said that to another human being I'm sure!
A friend of mine had been trying for (i don't know how long but 18+ mths?) and emailed a mutual friend to tell her she was starting IVF treatment. Said mutual friend responded with 'oh you should just relax, I did and fell pg the first month off the pill'. Really is that an appropriate response to news of someone doing IVF?
I'm ranting and rambling all over your thread again - sorry *Pinkcustard^
Oh, and I meant (whilst I was rambling away) to say Thumbwitch fingers crossed you get pg again soon and it is a super sticky one, and Rosina congratulations on your twins (and of course on DS too) - bet that keeps you busy!
Just a bit! They're gorgeous, but oh my goodness it's hard work and how mothers of triplets and more manage I will never know!
In answer to the ovulation question I use a Clearblue fertility monitor which I've found to be very accurate (in terms of my period always arrives 12 days after it says I've ovulated) along with being aware of CM, and also on Clomid I can feel Ov.
I was just glad to be prescribed something to be honest, and also I have a friend who naturally ovs late like me (around cd18) and tried for around 18 months for both of her children and both times only got preg after taking Clomid. I've also read it can help to produce eggs of a better quality. I suppose I also had a bit of a 'what have I got to lose?' attitude about it, and figured a few goes on it wouldn't hurt.
My sis is in the 'Just relax' camp - easy for her to say when she got preg on month 1 and then month 4 for her two (and was stressing by month 3 iirc!)
I must admit I am a bit concerned about the risk of twins...but if it's no baby or 2 at once, I know which I'd take!
Thanks for all your responses. I used to hang around on some of the longer standing threads but have deliberately been avoiding the Conception boards for the past couple of months as they fuel my obsession!
A friend of mine had been trying fr 4 years and was about to start ivf when she got pregnant naturally. It can sometimes just a while. Good luck!
We have friends who tried for over 4 years through ivf and no success. Changed countries, came here and now have 2 kids. Naturally. I also know of at least 2 sets of friends who got pregnant v easily with first child and second child took significantly longer to conceive. No real reasons given.
We were prescribed clomid which I took an thankfully for pregnant (for first child) even though for all purposes there wasn't anything wrong that they could find. We had been trying for nearly a year by then. Second child took about 4 months.
Good luck Pinkcustard - it is a buggery nuisance when it just doesn't seem to want to happen - I hope it happens for you soon.
My very close friend had been trying for 2years and 9 mnths. (Her first baby was concieved on the night she lost her virginity). She said she was worried that when she had sex the semen would run out of her onto the bed. I told her to stand on her head afterwards, which she did. that month she got the BFP
We had DD 11 years after DS , I too was diagnosed with secondary infertility, it just happened when we almost had given up.
From about september 2005 we almost stopped trying(I was of course secretly hoping, but stopped applying pressure on Dh) and just relaxed, December 2005 I was pregnant, August 2005 DD was born, two weeks earlier 9lb and 12oz.
If I could give you any tips would be
As somebody already said, after intercourse, stay horizontal, prop your legs up the wall.
As soon as your period finishes, so really day after you stopped bleeding, have sex, so don't wait till your ovulation day, get onto it and keep at it till ovulation day.
I remember I took cough syrup(old wives tales) on someone suggestion, right from the beginning of my cycle up to mid of cycle, apparently it softens and waters down the mucus, which helps a lot, good luck, I don't know if any of this is useful to you, it will happen, try to relax and enjoy the sex.
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