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Too old to become a mum?

(9 Posts)
Pocket1 Fri 05-Aug-11 21:06:41

Just found out that i wont conceive naturally - at 44 i seem to have left it too late and am not producing good eggs. So the specialist has told me to look at egg donation - but it seems to be a minefield. Big emotional and ethical considerations. i've been told its easier abroad - but not sure that feels right for lots of reasons. i dont know what to do... any advice or guidance much appreciated. TIA

nbee84 Fri 05-Aug-11 21:23:47

My friend was in the same situation as you - though slightly younger at 42. Tried ivf but didn't produce any eggs. She went for egg donation in Barcelona as the wait for a donor in the UK would have been years. She had a baby girl 8 weeks ago smile

Pocket1 Fri 05-Aug-11 21:34:18

How wonderful for your friend. Thank you for sharing that - you've put a smile on my face and given me hope. I do need to look into all options - i just wonder if a UK arrangement is out of the question???

dunkindonut Fri 05-Aug-11 21:41:34

Sorry to hear that.

I'm 40 and having trouble too. Doc has suggested IVF but we have both decided against it as it doesn't 'feel right' and I have decided that I don't want to be poked and prodded. My theory is that if it is/was meant to happen it will/would have happened. Mind you, I'm also wondering if I'm a bit past it! You can ask for advice but only you know what is right for you. Trust yourself to make the right decision.

Very best of luck with everything. x

Pocket1 Fri 05-Aug-11 22:11:28

dunkindonut - i'm amazed how wonderful the women on this site are. whatever is troubling them, they still spare a thought for others. wow, women are amazing. i'm sorry to hear that you're also having conception trouble. I've recently had a fair bit of poking and prodding - i certainly didn't like it but it wasn't nearly as bad as i'd expected it to be. Also, the consultant told me that if i did go down the egg donor route, and therefore got some 'nice young eggs' that i should have a normal pregnancy... i totally respect your theory but it might be worth looking into and i wouldnt say that your past it! you sound like you'd make a nice mum. best of luck x smile

shandybass Fri 05-Aug-11 22:31:46

Hi pocket1 you're right ttc especially when were a bit older or having difficulties is an emotional rollercoaster. If you look at a thread I'm on and fancy joining there's lots of oldies with differing experiences including waiting for egg donation. It's called 'Fantastic 40+' or something similar. Everyone is lovely and very supportive.

Good luck. Sorry I don't have any personal knowledge of egg donation.

dunkindonut Sun 07-Aug-11 21:33:35

Pocket1, the lovely thing about Mumsnet is that you're never alone! There is always someone in the same boat as you out there somewhere.

I recently had a 21 day blood test which confirmed I am ovulating. We're just waiting on DH's test now (so it could actually be him!). I would love a baby but I'm not desperate and we have a pretty nice life already. I'm also quite a spiritual person (sounds a bit woo I know!) but I don't believe in trying to force things to happen. Kate Silverton gives me hope though!

Why don't you go down the egg donation route? It sounds like you are quite keen and your consultant sounds very understanding which is a great help I should think.

Pocket1 Mon 08-Aug-11 22:03:43

Hi Dunkindonut, its funny, i really feel 'in the right place' here with so many caring and sympathetic people.

Great news about the ovulation - keeping everything crossed for you.

i am almost certainly going to seek an egg donor - only question is UK or overseas... watch this space, i'll let you know how i get on!

here's to us both having bumps by the end of this year!!

hellymelly Mon 08-Aug-11 22:22:28

I had my two at 41 and 43.I was very lucky and conceived ridiculously easily each time. I do know there is an accupuncture clinic in London which has excellent results in improving egg quality etc in older women-there was a piece on it in the Observer (I think) a year or so back.The head is a chinese woman. I would try that before egg donation, you may well find you can still get pregnant naturally.Best of luck whatever.I am 47 now,still breastfeeding, and I do feel a bit too old (or maybe just too tired!) for another one,but at 44 I would have gone for it. I didn't as my baby was waking 6 times a night....

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