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Am i worrying about nothing?

5 replies

fedupwelshmum · 05/08/2011 11:32

I have been with my dp for 2 years now. I have two children my previous partner who are 7 and 9. Im 34 and we have been ttc for the last 8 months. i have been using CB ovulation kit for the last 5 months but still nothing. My DP is diabetic and am worried this could be affecting his sperm levels. It only took me weeks with my other two and im so worried there is something wrong. I want a baby more than anything and im worried its taking over my life. I feel like im monitoring something all the time whether its when im ovulating to then seeing if AF comes to then being completely gutted and depressed when it does. I want to be able to relax. We are thinking of going to the doctor for checks. My DP is convinced a few years ago he had an a one night stand which resulted in a pregancy but she only told him after the abortion. This could be nothing though. I just need some reassurance that 8 months isnt really that long but just want to be able to stop thinking about it constantly. Thanks for listening x

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ClaireDeLoon · 05/08/2011 11:43

Hi

I have a diabetic OH and we have difficulty conceiving. But then I'm late 30's, have a problem with my womb etc so who knows if the diabetes or not. All I can tell you is that the Gynae we have seen wasn't bothered about the diabetes at all, as it was under control she didn't believe that it impacted either fertility or our miscarriages.

Does your DP manage his diabetes ok?

8 months feels like a long time I know, if your DP is over 35 then I would make a gp's appointment to see what they suggest. The normal first step is blood tests for you and a sperm test for him. That would I think perhaps help with your concerns?

In terms of reassurance, 8 months isn't regarded as an overly long time although I know it feels that way. I think the average is about that? I charted too and it took 2 years to conceive 2nd pregnancy, we were just about thinking of giving up so it was quite a surprise. And I'd stopped charting etc because I'd identified my cycles were regular and I seemed to be ovulating. I think charting, even with a CB kit, can make it more stressful. It's a useful tool but I wouldn't use it long term if it indicates no problems.

Good luck. I hope you get that BFP soon.

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ClaireDeLoon · 05/08/2011 11:45

Just to clarify the DP being over 35 point is because if either partner is over 35 GP's will investigate after 6 months ttc. If both under 35 they recommend a year of ttc before they will investigate.

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fedupwelshmum · 05/08/2011 11:53

Thanks CDL my DP is 31 and im 34 in two weeks so I guess we are both quite young. He manages his diabetes very well...the only problem we have (well not a problem) is we drink on the weekends a fair bit...im going to cut that right down and i think he should too. Its just so consuming all the time and I feel like its all i think about. I sound selfish in the fact that I have two already but i want this just as much as I did my first. The other problem i didnt mention is that he has a back condition relating to his diabetes whcih is very rare but make the amount of times we can have sex very limited as he is often in pain. There is no cure for this. As im sure you know its not very romantic when "its the right time". I know I need to try and relax and chances are it will happen eventually its just so hard not to think about it

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ClaireDeLoon · 05/08/2011 12:33

You don't sound selfish at all, wanting a child is wanting a child, whether it's your first or your fifth!

I drink too much wine at weekends too, and we decided to give up alcohol completely, I conceived not long after. Got to be worth a try! We're not ttcing at the mo as I'm due an op to correct the problem with my womb in a week, but once we get the all clear to try we'll go teetotal.

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fedupwelshmum · 05/08/2011 13:15

I think so too or at least cut down to one night a week and not as much..my two dds go to their dad every other weekend so we basically have two nights to do as we like which generally involves a few drinkies and then the odd bottle of wine in the week. The hardest thing for me is it was so quick with my other two so i cant help but wonder why this time. also im a bit older now and not sure if my fertility could be different. This is the hardest thing i have ever done...i know i need to relax and try to stop thinking so much im doing my own head in.