Am new *waves* - thinking of TTC in December - any tips on preparing myself?

[Scarlet33]

Hi everyone - first post from me but I've love to become a regular . Got married last year and we now feel it's the right time to TTC from December onwards (I'm 34 this coming March so my clock is ticking!). Am thinking about what to do to prepare myself - mentally and physically - any tips would be much appreciated! Also, although I'm excited I'm so apprehensive about the change it will bring about and wondering if anyone else felt like that too? Thanks for reading x

[farfallarocks]

Hello
I would recommend coming off the pill if you are on the pill and start figuring out how long your cycles are.
Get fit, eat healthily and generally try and relax. Taking folic acid is a good idea or some other pre natal vitamins.
My biggest tip however would be not to wait until December! Just crack on, it could take you longer than you think. We waited until we were absolutely ready and now we are impatient and stressed out.

Good luck.

[Scarlet33]

Hi Farfallrocks - thank you loads for the tips and the luck, I've got some Sanatagen pregnancy folic acid/vits which I will start taking and starting my new exercise regime on Monday night - can hardly move I'm so stiff today lol! I use Persona, which like the ovulation testing kits but for natural contraception which is really useful as a little egg appears to show when I'm ovulating - the reason I thought December (and this might seem a bit overkill but I've thought about all sorts of random stuff whilst trying to decide the best time ) is that my brother was born in August and really struggled as the youngest child in his year with being a year younger than everyone else, so we thought if we started trying from December the baby would be due Sept onwards which might help with his / her school age? Maybe I'm thinking too much about it and should just go for it! How long have you been trying for do you mind me asking?

[LIG1979]

Hello and welcome!
As Farfellrocks says - come off the pill!!! I had no idea of my cycles or lack of because the pill had covered it up. This is a bit of a pain when TTC.
Good luck! x

[farfallarocks]

Well its great that you know your cycles and your body already, half the battle I think!
I stopped taking the pill in February as I thought it might take a while to get my periods back (it had done in the past). I really really wanted a March or April baby, timed for a lovely summer maternity leave. I actually got my periods back straight away but very short and light cycles. Got pregnant in May, lost it in June, I think partly because the pill was not out of my system.
So not trying for long really but it becomes all consuming, especially if you are a bit of a control freak, like I am :)

I was really focused on timing it all beautifully and thought it would happen straight away. Now I could not care less when my baby is born. I am 31.
Do consider that at 34 it may take you a little longer than at 24 to get pregnant.
I wish I had come off the pill earlier and not tried but no not tried if you know what I mean.

[LIG1979]

Scarlett I would not worry too much about dates. We started trying new year to get Xmas & New Year over and have a October baby for the same reasons as you. Then got pregnant in February, Miscarried in April and now back TTC now. Hopefully you won't have the stress I do - but I think planning the date of the baby is very difficult.

What I would have done in hindsight is stopped using protection & started taking pregnancy vitamins a few months before actually TTC. Then start properly in December. I may have 'accidentally' fell pregnant a bit earlier than planned but it would have been better than the frustration I feel now!

[Scarlet33]

Hi LIG1979 - thank you for the welcome, I take it you might be a year behind me agewise from your username? Is this your first babby?

You are right Farfallrocks - I am also a control freak, hence the planning to the last detail but as you point out this is one thing it's very difficult to plan for and said plans can easily go out the window so perhaps we should get started asap (am really sorry to hear about your loss in June ). Plus my periods, although regular, have also become very light - down from 4 days in my 20's to 2 days the last year or so - another worry of mine!

Hmmm maybe I'll have a chat with hubby tonight and see what he thinks - he would have no issue trying now, however we are currently living in the Middle East and booked to be home in the UK for the Xmas break so I wanted to visit the docs to see if everything was ok before I started trying - maybe I can go back a little earlier instead

[LIG1979]

Farafall sounds like we have had similar stories.....interesting that you think it could be related to the pill. I had not really thought about that.

Scarlett don't let us worry you though about miscarriage.

[desperateoldie67]

Hi Scarlet and welcome. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. I'm 43 and TTC, and refuse to put myself on the scrap heap, so you definitely shouldn't do it at 33/34 :)

Like farfallarocks I don't care at all when my baby is born if I manage to get pregnant. I'd say just go for it, and as farfalla said, it could take longer than you think. Hard though it is, try not to stress too much as stress makes your body freak out and can affect how long it takes to conceive. Good luck :)

[LIG1979]

Scarlett yes - I am 32 now. If you are in the middle east - have you got health insurance (or lots of cash) - my BIL lives in Dubai and they got pregnant earlier than planned and did not have 1 years insurance and so had to pay for everything. Luckily, it kicked in before the baby was born otherwise it would have been very expensive for the birth. However, they did get much better care than they would have in the UK with monthly scans etc. but the post birth care was inexistent. Whereabout in the middle east are you?

[farfallarocks]

The docs won't do much, might give you a smear, ask you if have had rubella, tell you take folic acid and then say come back in a year if there is a problem.

If you a control freak/alpha type you might find that TTC is the biggest challenge you have ever had. I have worked hard all my life and achieved pretty much everything I wanted. Frankly, this is the first time I have not got what I wanted. Sorry if that sounds really arrogant, its not meant to. I just want to warn the sisterhood, this is tough, and there is not a huge amount you can do. You can certainyl try and make your body the most hospitable place it can be but mother nature can be tricky!

[farfallarocks]

Yes sorry to be all doom and gloom, I am a bit low at the moment.
Do remember that most couples TTC will get pregnant in a year (85%)

LIG I think long term use of the pill can affect hormones for a while, specifically I think it can take a while for your body to get going and produce the right hormones again, spec progesterone. The lining of the womb is also thinned by long term use of the pill. The good news is that after about 6/7 months most people's bodies get back to normal. I am convinced my miscarriage was due to low progesterone because I spotted all the way through.

[Scarlet33]

Thanks all for your messages - it's so nice to touch base with other ladies as it can get a bit lonely out here!

LIG1979 I'm in Saudi Arabia of all places - I've been out here for just over 3 years and have been working during that time (one of 5 ladies in the company out of 5,000 men lol - a bit of story in itself ) - my HB and I both work for the same company so have really good medical cover - I'll definately be giving birth out here (if I'm lucky enough to get the chance to) as the care is great. That's fab that your BIL is in Dubai - how is his wife finding living out there with the baby away from home / family etc? Another worry of mine although the expat wives seem to support each other.

Farfallarocks - I am totally the same as you! We have been here working our nuts off (pardon the expression - and I hope for TTC sake hubby's is still there ) for the last few years, paid for the wedding, got some savings behind us, did a bit of travelling etc - this is next in the 'grand plan' but sadly the thing we might have least control over. I have already spent a few sleepless night worrying about my periods getting lighter.

And desperateoldies67!! Absolutely fanatastic - you go girl! Just to let you know that my hubby, who is 36, found out last month that his dad's girlfriend who is the same age as you is expecting a surprise bundle due in March next year! A bit of a shock for him at first with the age gap between him and his new brother or sister but now we can't wait! So definately the opportunity can be there

Masses of luck to you all!

[PieMistress]

Hi scarlet just to ditto what a few others have already said ie/ eat healthily, take folic acid and exercise and DON'T WAIT! Unless you are very very lucky it's hard to plan when your baby will be born. If you want to do some reading then the Zita West book is worth a read:

www.amazon.co.uk/Zita-Wests-Guide-Getting-Pregnant/dp/0007173717/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1312458260&sr=8-3&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

I am now 39 and TTC no.2 and it's proving much more difficult than when I conceived no.1 (age 36). Are you using the persona machine for contraception rather than the pill? I conceived DS using my persona machine.

[LIG1979]

Wow - Saudi - from what I have heard it is very different to Dubai. Spent quite a bit of time in Bahrain and that was interesting seeing all the Saudi locals getting drunk and up to mischief over the weekend in Bahrain. My MIL/FIL got most of their medical care in Saudi when they were living in Bahrain and said it was amazing compared to private in the UK. With my BIL in Dubai - they are very lucky as both sets of parents work for an airline and so get cheap flights and can fly over fairly regularly. Also, my BIL's wife's brother and his wife live down the road in Dubai so they have quite a network already.

Regarding timing - if you are in the middle east you can become quite housebound if you are heavily pregnant over the summer with the heat as my SIL discovered being due at the end of August last year. But as it is very difficult to time a baby unless you are very lucky/fertile - I would just get on with it now! x

[desperateoldie67]

Awwww thanks Scarlet :)

[Scarlet33]

Hi again all - it's Ramadan over here at the moment so working quite bizarre hours during the day and night, don't think there is going to be any TTC this month as it's so tiring lol but we are rethinking waiting until December now

Hi LIG - sounds like they have a great network out there in Dubai, I have to say that I really enjoy living out here in the Middle East, I think after Saudi we may go to Dubai actually as we've been there for a few weekend breaks and it's lovely. We also frequent Bahrain on a regular basis too (for a glass or 3 of vino and bacon sarny!). Did you go to visit them there or were you living over here for a bit too? I love the sunny weather so much now that I don't think I could go back to England!

Hi Piemistress, I've been using my persona for the last 3 years as contraceptive, however I have got to say that it's been great in terms of understanding my cycle better - esp the little egg sign that appears so I'll be using mine to help with getting the right days to try - I was on the pill for ages and then tried the implant which I found to be awful, had it taken out and then had my very first optical migraine back on the pill a few weeks later so I decided to go to Persona instead - have recommended it to lots of friends. Thank you loads for the book recommendation too - I'll definately take a look at that. Good luck with trying for number 2, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you

xxx