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feeling a bit down about it all today

(22 Posts)
NinjaChipmunk Tue 02-Aug-11 09:20:35

so there i was getting all excited as af was late by a day or 2, tested this morning and af decided to arrive. I'm now onto month 16 of ttc #2 and i'm feeling really sad about it. My poor dp looked really upset when he left for work. I'm sick of going through the same feelings every month and it not happening. I just want to cry. I know I'll pull myself together later today and get on and feel a bit better but right now I'm not happy.

GenericDietCola Tue 02-Aug-11 09:45:30

I'm sorry Ninja it's so hard sometimes <un-MN hug>

NinjaChipmunk Tue 02-Aug-11 09:55:27

thanks generic I wanted to keep this separate from the other thread, don't want to poison the positivity! Poor ds just asked why i looked upset and i burst into tears on him.

vcs27 Tue 02-Aug-11 10:06:45

don't be sad Ninja! I was 6 days late (I have been regular for about 4 years now) and got aF yesterday. I had taken 5 pregnancy tests but I knew deep down I wasn't pg because I just didn't feel it. I did, however, feel pretty moody and down yesterday but we have to got to keep going! It will happen!

NinjaChipmunk Tue 02-Aug-11 10:26:24

Thanks vcs I have to keep going because i cannot entertain the idea that it won't happen.

buggerlugs82 Tue 02-Aug-11 12:45:11

Have you been to speak to your GP? 16 months is a long time, they may do some tests on you. Don't assume because you've had one child that all is well.

They may be able to help.

maximum123 Tue 02-Aug-11 14:27:16

Big hugs ninja chip mink, you were so nice to me a few months ago on mums net conversation thread thingy. I wanted to reply and say will be praying this summer is your time for a BFP. It's so so so pooh on the pooh scale of pooh things to happen. Wish it's all over for us all wanna bee mums soon. In the meantime there is supportive threads like this for you. Chin up. You are one of the most positive responders on mums net so you need to know that. And good things will one day come to you. I believe that.

poutintrout Tue 02-Aug-11 14:42:09

I'm sorry Ninja. This process can feel very cruel can't it. We are in a similar situation. I have come on today after 15 months TTC. I dared to wonder whether this was my time because AF decided to do odd things this cycle - t'was not to be!

I guess the only positive to take out of AF arriving is that the wondering and vainly hoping is over this cycle.

Onwards and upwards into cycle 16!

Hope that you feel better soon smile

NinjaChipmunk Tue 02-Aug-11 17:53:30

Thank you for your lovely replies. Buggerlugs we have our first fertility clinic this week. All tests so far have come back fine and very healthy.
Am feeling much better this afternoon, have seen good friends and chilled in the sunshine.
Thanks again, its good to have somewhere to offload where people understand.

buggerlugs82 Tue 02-Aug-11 18:14:11

Good luck at the clinic - Would you post an update just to let us know what happens? I have a feeling me and DH will end up there.

Glad your feeling better. Its an emotional job this one. I had a bit of a paddy myself last night on another thread. Smacked myself round the head and feel better today!

<blows Ninja a kiss>

ellangirl Tue 02-Aug-11 18:23:09

Hi ninja, long time no speak! Just want to say sorry you're feeling down, and sending you some wine or gin or brew, whichever seems most suitable for the way you're feeling!!

NinjaChipmunk Tue 02-Aug-11 20:11:44

Aw shucks! Kisses and booze, perfect!
ellangirl how's things with you? A mug of gin will go down nicely!
buggerlugs no problem. It's on Thursday morning so will try to get on here after that.

raspberrytipple Wed 03-Aug-11 07:58:03

I feel your pain ninja. We are on 13th month now and I'm on day 21 and not ovulated. Yet another friend has told me she is expecting and had only been trying for 4 months. That's 12 babies/pregnancies around me in less than a year, all were 'tried for' and some took longer than others but generally at least 8 happened within 4 months of trying. To top it off we walked to the pub last night and decided not to talk about or think about babies only to be greeted by a friend with their gorgeous 11 week old super smiley baby. I'm feeling desperate now, just completely heartbroken and desperate. It's even hurting DP now who is convinced it is him and that's upsetting me more than anything too. It's just so shit. Off to the doctors for us next month I think.

NinjaChipmunk Wed 03-Aug-11 09:41:54

raspberry definitely go to the docs and ask for day 3 (FSH, LH, prolactin, rubella immunity and thyroid check was what I was tested for) and progesterone on day 21/ 7 days after ovulation to make sure you are ovulating and ask for dp to get a sperm sample done too. You are right it is heartbreaking. I already have a ds who is nearly 4 and he is almost as desperate for a sibling as we are to give him one. A couple of his friends have baby siblings and he sees what it is like and i know how fantastic a big brother he would be. The feelings it raises are so hard to keep in check sometimes, it brings out such an irrational side to your personality. Don't give up hope, but do make sure you do something about it! good luck to all of us on this very hard journey.
for what it is worth, on another thread i am on, someone who had been trying for #2 for 19 months has just got a bfp. I super chuffed for her and i hope she doesn't mind me mentioning it here! Positive attitudes people, i allow myself 1 maudlin morning when af arrives to let out the feelings then I try to get on with the month. Anyway, i'm rambling. good luck x

kickassmunkiii Wed 03-Aug-11 10:39:46

Just wanted to add my 'good luck' and say it took DH and I 16 months to get our BFP and I know how utterly soul destroying it can be and how desperate and sad you can feel. I always had a horrible horrible ranty day first day of my period. My DC is now 8 months old and we are about to start the fertility clinic thing again (as I have 56 day cycles) in the next few months as I am well aware it could take a long time again.

I really really hope you all get your babies very soon.

<dishes out wine and brew and chocolate to those that need>

raspberrytipple Wed 03-Aug-11 17:47:13

Thanks ninja, think I might go to the docs tomorrow. Had a real down day today, feeling it a lot at the moment and just can't concentrate on anything! Need to kick myself up the arse! Will make sure I mention the tests you've listed and let you know how I get on.

kay157 Wed 03-Aug-11 18:52:34

Raspberry i know how u feel it is heartbreaking but we're all in this together on here..i've been trying 3 years and every month i'm a complete nightmare!! i'm just trying to go with the flow now and however hard it is just try not to stress too much..why do u always see babies and people pregnant when you want one tho..it seems so unfair!!

queenrollo Thu 04-Aug-11 10:27:48

Thinking of you this morning ninja. sorry i missed this thread or I've had returned some of the support you've given me.

will pop back later to see if you have an update

NinjaChipmunk Thu 04-Aug-11 10:54:00

morning, the gynae appointment got cancelled this morning so has been put back to the 20th. bit of a shame but earlier than the mid september date they offered me first! Will be in the first week of 2ww then so maybe that'll be my only appointment as I'll be pregnant!?

Solars Thu 04-Aug-11 12:07:04

Gosh, I've just been reading this thread and it's the first time i've ever written here (been lurking for a couple of days) but just wanted to sympathise with you all. Husband and I are on month 16 too and trying for our first. I'm not due AF until the weekend but stupidly I tested this morning to get a BFN sad

Although I'm feeling really dejected & heartbroken now I have to believe it will happen soon.

Ninja, good luck with your appointment even though you have to wait a little longer, you may not need it anyway!

Sending you all out some good positive vibes xx

ellangirl Thu 04-Aug-11 14:35:35

Hi Ninja, as you asked we've actually started ICSI now, so I'll be going for Egg Collection next week- it all got sorted pretty quickly. Good luck with your TTC journey- be strong!! x

NinjaChipmunk Thu 04-Aug-11 15:38:03

good luck ellangirl I shall be waving my metaphorical pom poms for you x

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