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fucked off with everything

32 replies

OracleInaCoracle · 28/07/2011 08:12

Cycle is now 24 days, it started on weds and I am now in my 71st month of ttc. six years. I am so pissed off and am sick of it. Oh, and had a letter from the cons discharging us because there is nothing that they can do for us.

Why is it so hard for us when its such a natural process?

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Hevian · 28/07/2011 08:18

My friend conceived after many years after visting a traditional Chinese medicine doctor. She was desperate and had several failed IVF procedures. She went to the Chinese doctor after hearing a similar success story from one of her IVF friends at the IVF clinic.

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OracleInaCoracle · 28/07/2011 08:26

Hevian, thanks for replying.n I've tried everything. I'm a qualified complimentary therapist and have tried every therapy and herbal remedy known (some did more harm than good) I've had 13 mcs and an ep since ds was born. I'm just feeling really sorry for myself. Another friend is about to have a baby and I'm not.

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goingmadtrying · 28/07/2011 08:34

So sorry to hear your story I can't even start to imagine your hurt and pain but think you are totally entitled to be fucked off with it all :(

good luck for the future and I hope you get a sticky bfp soon xxx big hugs

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Kayzr · 28/07/2011 08:50

Oh Lissie, I have no idea what to say as I know nothing I say will make it better. But just wanted you to know that it's ok to moan and scream and cry as much as you want. Thinking of you xx

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OracleInaCoracle · 28/07/2011 14:15

Thank you, getting the letter yesterday was a real blow. That's it. Nowhere else to go.

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OracleInaCoracle · 28/07/2011 14:15

Thank you, getting the letter yesterday was a real blow. That's it. Nowhere else to go.

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buggerlugs82 · 28/07/2011 18:05

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CleanSheetsAndSmoothLegs · 28/07/2011 18:30

Lissie, I can't believe they discharged you on those grounds. It must have been a real body blow. I'm so sorry. Are they even allowed to do that?? I suppose they must be... Is there anything further that you think they ought to try? Is there a chance a sympathetic GP would re-refer you if you pushed for it?

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OracleInaCoracle · 28/07/2011 19:23

Consultant has discharged because they have done all the tests that they are prepared to do, they have tried everything they can bar ivf, and I have been refused ivf because of my history. So nada, nothing. Goodnight vienna. Accept that you are now barren, and stop whinging.

Buggerlugs, it won't work. Stress isn't a factor in long term infertility, esp when complicated by rmc. I can't even just stop trying (although my fertility is declining) because if I get pg there is nothing they can do to keep me up the duff.

I look back to when we had been ttc a year, or even two and how stressed I was about it as a golden age. I thought it would have happened by now.

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galwaygal · 28/07/2011 23:01

Thank goodness you have finally got rid of that dumb-ass consultant of yours. I never did like him!

So now to find a new consultant that actually possesses a brain! And kick your GP up the backside to refer you to that said consultant. (and sue the pants off the old consultant for his mistreatment of you in the past while you are at it)



Grin

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galwaygal · 28/07/2011 23:03

Obviously that is a whiskey not a wiskey!!!!

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Ladybee · 28/07/2011 23:34

Lissie - write back to your consultant and tell him that if he his discharging you then can he please write a letter of referral to shehata at Epsom.

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BagofHolly · 29/07/2011 00:04

Can I ask where your consultant is, and what history prevents you from having IVF? What about embryo/egg adoption, for example?

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OracleInaCoracle · 29/07/2011 09:09

Lol galway, you know, I think I could do with a break from consultants for a while. I'm sick of being a pin cushion and patronised by toads with god complexes, I don't think it will happen now. I really don't. We have one and are lucky to have him. I might try again with a different hospital in the new year though.

We can't afford to have ivf privately, lat alone using donor eggs and aren't eligible for nhs funding, we tried egg share, but I have had too many miscarriages, even though the evidence point to the cause of the rmc being a uterine infection caused by the botched delivery of ds at the hands of said consultant. I asked if we would be able to have private ivf if we could find the money and he said no because the odds are against it working.

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galwaygal · 29/07/2011 13:11

Lissie - I can fully understand your need to break from the medical side of it all. Your son is absolutely gorgeous, a real credit to you. I unfortunately have not given up hope for you, so I will be continuing to hope and pray, that you get to see a proper consultant with a brain and a heart, in the new year. If you need to rant you know how to contact me. Thank you for all the support you have given me.

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OracleInaCoracle · 29/07/2011 15:39

Thank you, and right back atcha Grin I've had so much support on here over the years, I can begin to say how grateful I am. Saw my gp today to discuss some blood results (not lupus) and the discharge by mcwanky. She has agreed to writing to him in the new year re referral to a clinic that tests immunology and/or nk cells, but can't prescribe clomid or anything else. She is tied by the local pct.

Ds is a joy. 3 people on the bus today commented on what a polite little boy he is, and we go on holiday on sunday. Although he got rather upset this morning, a cow in the field next to our house died calving last night, we saw her as we walked across the field, so he got excited about the new calve, but sad about the mum.

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buggerlugs82 · 01/08/2011 12:56

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OracleInaCoracle · 01/08/2011 15:07

Hello buggerlugs, feeling a bit despondent tbh. Think that I might be perimenopausal, my cycles have been shortening and my skin has been a nightmare. I can no longer visualise my baby. And I don't feel like I belong on this board anymore. I started a thread asking about it, and got one response, I know that if its title had been "am I pg? Should I test?" I would have got loads.

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OracleInaCoracle · 01/08/2011 15:08

How are you? Ready for post period shagfest?

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buggerlugs82 · 01/08/2011 16:28

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AmandaCooper · 01/08/2011 18:28

lissielou I'm sorry to hear how bad you feel. It's easy to reply to those am I pg threads, all that's called for generally is some inane lighthearted comment. It's harder to reply to something more serious, people care about saying the wrong thing. Six years of trying and all those losses and disappointments is unimaginable. I hope you find your way through this.

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galwaygal · 01/08/2011 18:38

Yep I second buggerlugs comments, you do belong here (I did not see your other thread either, will go see if I can spot it in a minute).....

As for shorter cycles, nope, nothing to do with being perimenopausal, I have always had short ish cycles, never been a problem, my cycle length has changed after some pregnancies. But before I was ttc, my cycle length changed in my 30's, I went to my gp about it, he said it was normal for cycles to change a bit at that time. All the googling ! I have done seems to back this up, and unless you have been and had blood tests suggesting you are coming to the end of your fertile time, you don't need to worry about shorter cycles like you are getting. Just think of it as more opportunites to possibly get preggo, and maybe a miracle occur.

I am still trying to decide whether to ttc again. We are trying to apply to become foster parents, and I don't think ttc and fostering really go together, so I have to make a decision I think. However with all the m/c's I think my decision can only really go one way. So I am trying to get my head around what type of contraception to use. hey ho!

Sorry you are feeling dispondant, if I thought it would help I would do a jig around here dressed up as the tooth fairy and sing puff the magic dragon at the same time for you, but somehow, I am not sure that would help!!!! Grin

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OracleInaCoracle · 04/08/2011 17:53

Thank you all so much. Feeling much better now. Dh and I have agreed to get another dog and put ttc to the back of our minds. We finally live somewhere we both love, ds is doing well at school, and maybe I should just accept that we are done. Not ready enough for contraception yet though.

Buggerlugs, hopefully this will be your month! Its crap to see others come and go quickly, but I would hang round too,

Amanda, I know. Just made me feel a bit crap.

Galway, oh, that's exciting! How does dh feel about it now? And thank you for the dance, twas v graceful Wink

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buggerlugs82 · 04/08/2011 18:16

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OracleInaCoracle · 04/08/2011 18:20

Oooh, what type do you have? Mines a jack/westie. We are going to get a spaniel this time though. Dogs rock!

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