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fucked off with everything

(33 Posts)
OracleInaCoracle Thu 28-Jul-11 08:12:04

Cycle is now 24 days, it started on weds and I am now in my 71st month of ttc. six years. I am so pissed off and am sick of it. Oh, and had a letter from the cons discharging us because there is nothing that they can do for us.

Why is it so hard for us when its such a natural process?

Hevian Thu 28-Jul-11 08:18:55

My friend conceived after many years after visting a traditional Chinese medicine doctor. She was desperate and had several failed IVF procedures. She went to the Chinese doctor after hearing a similar success story from one of her IVF friends at the IVF clinic.

OracleInaCoracle Thu 28-Jul-11 08:26:23

Hevian, thanks for replying.n I've tried everything. I'm a qualified complimentary therapist and have tried every therapy and herbal remedy known (some did more harm than good) I've had 13 mcs and an ep since ds was born. I'm just feeling really sorry for myself. Another friend is about to have a baby and I'm not.

goingmadtrying Thu 28-Jul-11 08:34:22

So sorry to hear your story I can't even start to imagine your hurt and pain but think you are totally entitled to be fucked off with it all sad

good luck for the future and I hope you get a sticky bfp soon xxx big hugs

Kayzr Thu 28-Jul-11 08:50:04

Oh Lissie, I have no idea what to say as I know nothing I say will make it better. But just wanted you to know that it's ok to moan and scream and cry as much as you want. Thinking of you xx

OracleInaCoracle Thu 28-Jul-11 14:15:54

Thank you, getting the letter yesterday was a real blow. That's it. Nowhere else to go.

OracleInaCoracle Thu 28-Jul-11 14:15:55

Thank you, getting the letter yesterday was a real blow. That's it. Nowhere else to go.

buggerlugs82 Thu 28-Jul-11 18:05:22

Hey Lissie - So sorry you are feeling like this, 6 years is a long time.

Have you stopped trying? Gone on holiday, got bolloxed and just shagged?

Seems to be my answer for everything, sorry.

How would you feel it you knew / accepted it would never happen or is that not an option? xx

CleanSheetsAndSmoothLegs Thu 28-Jul-11 18:30:06

Lissie, I can't believe they discharged you on those grounds. It must have been a real body blow. I'm so sorry. Are they even allowed to do that?? I suppose they must be... Is there anything further that you think they ought to try? Is there a chance a sympathetic GP would re-refer you if you pushed for it?

OracleInaCoracle Thu 28-Jul-11 19:23:58

Consultant has discharged because they have done all the tests that they are prepared to do, they have tried everything they can bar ivf, and I have been refused ivf because of my history. So nada, nothing. Goodnight vienna. Accept that you are now barren, and stop whinging.

Buggerlugs, it won't work. Stress isn't a factor in long term infertility, esp when complicated by rmc. I can't even just stop trying (although my fertility is declining) because if I get pg there is nothing they can do to keep me up the duff.

I look back to when we had been ttc a year, or even two and how stressed I was about it as a golden age. I thought it would have happened by now.

galwaygal Thu 28-Jul-11 23:01:50

Thank goodness you have finally got rid of that dumb-ass consultant of yours. I never did like him!

So now to find a new consultant that actually possesses a brain! And kick your GP up the backside to refer you to that said consultant. (and sue the pants off the old consultant for his mistreatment of you in the past while you are at it)

<galway sits down and slugs back a quick wiskey and soda, before lissie clocks her one>

grin

galwaygal Thu 28-Jul-11 23:03:06

Obviously that is a whiskey not a wiskey!!!!

Ladybee Thu 28-Jul-11 23:34:45

Lissie - write back to your consultant and tell him that if he his discharging you then can he please write a letter of referral to shehata at Epsom.

BagofHolly Fri 29-Jul-11 00:04:11

Can I ask where your consultant is, and what history prevents you from having IVF? What about embryo/egg adoption, for example?

OracleInaCoracle Fri 29-Jul-11 09:09:41

Lol galway, you know, I think I could do with a break from consultants for a while. I'm sick of being a pin cushion and patronised by toads with god complexes, I don't think it will happen now. I really don't. We have one and are lucky to have him. I might try again with a different hospital in the new year though.

We can't afford to have ivf privately, lat alone using donor eggs and aren't eligible for nhs funding, we tried egg share, but I have had too many miscarriages, even though the evidence point to the cause of the rmc being a uterine infection caused by the botched delivery of ds at the hands of said consultant. I asked if we would be able to have private ivf if we could find the money and he said no because the odds are against it working.

galwaygal Fri 29-Jul-11 13:11:49

Lissie - I can fully understand your need to break from the medical side of it all. Your son is absolutely gorgeous, a real credit to you. I unfortunately have not given up hope for you, so I will be continuing to hope and pray, that you get to see a proper consultant with a brain and a heart, in the new year. If you need to rant you know how to contact me. Thank you for all the support you have given me.

OracleInaCoracle Fri 29-Jul-11 15:39:59

Thank you, and right back atcha grin I've had so much support on here over the years, I can begin to say how grateful I am. Saw my gp today to discuss some blood results (not lupus) and the discharge by mcwanky. She has agreed to writing to him in the new year re referral to a clinic that tests immunology and/or nk cells, but can't prescribe clomid or anything else. She is tied by the local pct.

Ds is a joy. 3 people on the bus today commented on what a polite little boy he is, and we go on holiday on sunday. Although he got rather upset this morning, a cow in the field next to our house died calving last night, we saw her as we walked across the field, so he got excited about the new calve, but sad about the mum.

buggerlugs82 Mon 01-Aug-11 12:56:17

Hey Lis how you feeling today? I've been thinking about you. I wish i could change how you feel.

<sends MN hugs>

OracleInaCoracle Mon 01-Aug-11 15:07:10

Hello buggerlugs, feeling a bit despondent tbh. Think that I might be perimenopausal, my cycles have been shortening and my skin has been a nightmare. I can no longer visualise my baby. And I don't feel like I belong on this board anymore. I started a thread asking about it, and got one response, I know that if its title had been "am I pg? Should I test?" I would have got loads.

OracleInaCoracle Mon 01-Aug-11 15:08:54

How are you? Ready for post period shagfest?

buggerlugs82 Mon 01-Aug-11 16:28:33

Don't feel like that, you have a boat load of experience to share and i'm still here nearly a year later. Join us in the besh club, you'll fit right in smile

Some folk on here don't stay long, thats fine for them but even when I get a bfp i'll still lurk, i'll miss everyone (loser emoticon)

I didnt see your other post, sorry.

Shagathon is going well, well we've managed it twice since af left the building last wednesday and its on the cards again for tonight.

Don't give up, it aint over till its over x

AmandaCooper Mon 01-Aug-11 18:28:15

lissielou I'm sorry to hear how bad you feel. It's easy to reply to those am I pg threads, all that's called for generally is some inane lighthearted comment. It's harder to reply to something more serious, people care about saying the wrong thing. Six years of trying and all those losses and disappointments is unimaginable. I hope you find your way through this.

galwaygal Mon 01-Aug-11 18:38:05

Yep I second buggerlugs comments, you do belong here (I did not see your other thread either, will go see if I can spot it in a minute).....

As for shorter cycles, nope, nothing to do with being perimenopausal, I have always had short ish cycles, never been a problem, my cycle length has changed after some pregnancies. But before I was ttc, my cycle length changed in my 30's, I went to my gp about it, he said it was normal for cycles to change a bit at that time. All the googling ! I have done seems to back this up, and unless you have been and had blood tests suggesting you are coming to the end of your fertile time, you don't need to worry about shorter cycles like you are getting. Just think of it as more opportunites to possibly get preggo, and maybe a miracle occur.

I am still trying to decide whether to ttc again. We are trying to apply to become foster parents, and I don't think ttc and fostering really go together, so I have to make a decision I think. However with all the m/c's I think my decision can only really go one way. So I am trying to get my head around what type of contraception to use. hey ho!

Sorry you are feeling dispondant, if I thought it would help I would do a jig around here dressed up as the tooth fairy and sing puff the magic dragon at the same time for you, but somehow, I am not sure that would help!!!! grin

OracleInaCoracle Thu 04-Aug-11 17:53:40

Thank you all so much. Feeling much better now. Dh and I have agreed to get another dog and put ttc to the back of our minds. We finally live somewhere we both love, ds is doing well at school, and maybe I should just accept that we are done. Not ready enough for contraception yet though.

Buggerlugs, hopefully this will be your month! Its crap to see others come and go quickly, but I would hang round too,

Amanda, I know. Just made me feel a bit crap.

Galway, oh, that's exciting! How does dh feel about it now? And thank you for the dance, twas v graceful wink

buggerlugs82 Thu 04-Aug-11 18:16:21

How marvellous a 2nd dog. We went to look at 2 on sunday as we already have 1. We decided against another though. For various reasons.

that will keep you nicely distracted.

Good luck with everything x

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