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ttc, but scared of getting pregnant so not having sex.

(18 Posts)
OracleInaCoracle Wed 20-Jul-11 17:51:53

I just need to get this out. Dh and I have been ttc dc2 for 6y now. We have had 13 mcs and an ep, the last mc was about 3m ago and neither dh or I seem to want sex anymore. I have long term health issues anyway, so its easy for us to make excuses.

Our relationship is pretty good, we have our moments, but who doesn't, but sex is off the table. Tell me that I'm not the only one! I'm desperate for another baby, but am terrified of getting pg. Not sure if this should be in relationships tbh.

Piglet28 Wed 20-Jul-11 17:55:25

Sorry for your m/c's, you could have protected sex for a couple of months so you can enjoy it just for fun and when you feel more ready try again?

Good luck x

ShowOfHands Wed 20-Jul-11 18:00:03

Oh lissie.

I can't think of a delicate way of putting this at all but I think for you a bfp is just the stark realisation that the next miscarriage is on its way. Of course you don't want to do it again.

Have they offered you ANY more help whatsoever with what's actually causing the problem? Or is that too much like admitting their own fucking ineptitude?

Honest to God if I had won the euromillions you'd be in with a specialist this very second.

Bastard bloody fertility.

OracleInaCoracle Wed 20-Jul-11 18:00:47

We've tried that, but it feels like admitting defeat. Or a waste.

OracleInaCoracle Wed 20-Jul-11 18:00:48

We've tried that, but it feels like admitting defeat. Or a waste.

OracleInaCoracle Wed 20-Jul-11 18:06:48

Oh showy <leans head on shoulder> you're right. I hate seeing that line. And then I feel guilty. They think my rib problem is lupus now and I have a lovely new gp who is running more tests, but they still won't accept responsibility. And we have been turned down for ivf, again. I've half come to terms with it and am half heartbroken.

OracleInaCoracle Wed 20-Jul-11 18:06:49

Oh showy <leans head on shoulder> you're right. I hate seeing that line. And then I feel guilty. They think my rib problem is lupus now and I have a lovely new gp who is running more tests, but they still won't accept responsibility. And we have been turned down for ivf, again. I've half come to terms with it and am half heartbroken.

eurochick Wed 20-Jul-11 18:11:55

Having protect sex for one or two cycles sounds like a good idea so you can just take the stress and misery out of it.

I am so sorry for all that you are having to go through.

eurochick Wed 20-Jul-11 18:12:59

protected, I meant.

ShowOfHands Wed 20-Jul-11 18:12:59

Well at least they're running some more tests (though I'm in two minds as to whether to really hope it isn't lupus or want them to at least be making a vague stab at finding out what's really happening) but it doesn't sound very much as if anybody's remotely interested in the bigger picture. All this patchy, well we'll test for that and maybe discuss that a bit at a later date and have you tried a bleeding holiday nonsense is flannel.

It's all shit. No to ivf again? sad

OracleInaCoracle Wed 20-Jul-11 20:17:49

Eurochick, thank you.

Showy, I know. I feel like I'm banging my head against that bloody wall and they won't accept the "infection" theory, because that points the blame firmly at the balls up they made of delivering ds. Ivf is out because of mcs. I kind of hope it is lupus, at least its treatable.

OracleInaCoracle Wed 20-Jul-11 20:17:49

Eurochick, thank you.

Showy, I know. I feel like I'm banging my head against that bloody wall and they won't accept the "infection" theory, because that points the blame firmly at the balls up they made of delivering ds. Ivf is out because of mcs. I kind of hope it is lupus, at least its treatable.

lalabaloo Wed 20-Jul-11 20:25:08

Oh lissie big hugs, I can see why you would be worried about getting pregnant again sad Just to check, have your doctors investigated for any sort of blood disorder and also things like coeliac disease?

OracleInaCoracle Wed 20-Jul-11 20:48:18

Thank you lalalaboo, had a zillion tests, most doctors can find their way around my uterus blindfolded and I've had so much blood taken that vampires would starve if the picked me for a snack!

OracleInaCoracle Wed 20-Jul-11 20:48:20

Thank you lalalaboo, had a zillion tests, most doctors can find their way around my uterus blindfolded and I've had so much blood taken that vampires would starve if the picked me for a snack!

GenericDietCola Wed 20-Jul-11 21:25:12

lissie I've seen you around but never said hello. Hello. I'm so sorry to hear of what you've been through and in some ways can relate to how you feel (I'm trying after a MC too and have some other challenges).

The only helpful thing I can think of to say is that there is a new drug available for lupus, which was only licensed last week (belimumab). Don't know if it is launched here yet and if you are diagnosed with lupus, you will have to discuss it with your GP and if they think you are suitable for treatment, there may be some reimbursement hurdles to jump through, but perhaps it will help you.

OracleInaCoracle Thu 21-Jul-11 07:59:36

Hello generic, thank you. I will mention that when I see my gp again.

HorridCold Thu 21-Jul-11 13:11:04

lissielou, I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

My DSis has suffered in a similar way and also has Lupus. She has recently been undergoing tests at Bristol hospital (the nearest to us for more indepth tests) and is currently PG for about the 9th time.

She has one DS who is 2 years old.

They have found out through these various tests that with her, it's down to her hormone levels and the Lupus has just added further complications. She is having to have daily injections and also take Progesterone as her body is no longer making enough to sustain a PG. They've got her to 12 weeks now and she is being scanned once a fortnight. After the next scan (a week today), she may be able to stop the injections but will need to continue with the hormone tablets.

I don't know if this helps at all, but fingers crossed that things work out for you soon.

xxx

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