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What do you say?

(24 Posts)
buggerlugs82 Fri 15-Jul-11 22:58:14

Just out of interest, when people ask you:

"Are you trying"
"When will we see the pitter patter of tiny feet"
"ooooh are you having a baby soon"
"don't you want children soon"

and all the other ways of asking if your TTC - What do you say?

I'm close to twatting gently striking the next nosy bastard person who asks me!

Dannygirl Fri 15-Jul-11 23:03:06

The best answer I ever heard was to ask an equally nosy question back, like "when are you going to lose a few pounds?"

buggerlugs82 Fri 15-Jul-11 23:06:28

I like that one! The last girl to ask was very skinny though. She told me i was out of order cos i told her to shut up after she asked for the 3rd time in a row!

Its proper rattled my cage.

eurochick Fri 15-Jul-11 23:09:35

I just say something like "it doesn't happen instantly for everyone, you know".

That gets the message across without inviting any further comment.

Soupqueen Sat 16-Jul-11 00:39:56

I have a variety of responses that I alternate:
I'm not old enough (laughable given I'm 35)
I'm not ready to be selfless
the world has more people than it can cope with anyway, I'm being environmentally responsible
that's a very personal question, which method of contraception do you prefer
and finally, to my BIL, that's an extremely insensitive question, for all you know we've been trying for years and having problems we don't want to share.

Disclaimer: I've only just started TTC but been fending off the questions for years!

SoloAgainItSeems Sat 16-Jul-11 00:41:36

In my 20's, I used to say 'Oh!!! I'm too young yet.' It usually shut them up.

sancerrre Sat 16-Jul-11 00:53:04

I give them an exact (random) date and time. They can't argue with that.

LancyLass Sat 16-Jul-11 00:59:55

I've never been asked that!! (except by really close friends who I'd confide in anyway). Unbelievable really as am 36, been married 4 years but with DH 10 years. I'd never dream of asking someone that. Do people really do that?

Soupqueen Sat 16-Jul-11 01:19:35

They really do, yes!

LancyLass Sat 16-Jul-11 01:35:08

I reckon if someone did ask, I'd just say something like "Do you really expect me to answer that? If I'm ever pregnant I'll let you know along with everyone else..." Not funny, but makes the point!

Imps7 Sat 16-Jul-11 07:54:20

I love that response Dannygirl!!! Brilliant - I am so going to have to pluck up the courage to use that.

LancyLass - yes, so many people (mum, aunts, cousins, friends etc etc) have asked me when me and Mr Imps are going to have children. It is such a personal question and one I'd never dream of asking.

Last time someone asked me I just said "Who says we can have children"? That shut them up.

Biscuitsandtea Sat 16-Jul-11 08:33:40

I know it is a bit different but we get asked about when we'll be giving DS a little brother or sister, or the worst one I've had yet 'did you not want any more?'

I never know what to say either...

GenericDietCola Sat 16-Jul-11 08:48:51

Biscuits - people ask me that too and I usually just say "Oh I don't know" implying that we've not even thought about it.

People are so nosy and rude at times.

Biscuitsandtea Sat 16-Jul-11 08:54:36

Generic I normally mutter something along those lines 'errrr, maybe, we'll see' which is probably obvious that I'm question dodging, but then a little teeny bit of me feels like they've got off too easily for asking a nosey and impertinent question and they should be embarrassed with a more direct response to show them just how far over the line their question is.

I mean often these are people I don't know that well (if it was a close friend I would probably confide if I haven't been bending their ear about it already grin) so they aren't people who have any right to ask me about my family planning.

A girl who was visiting a friend of mine asked me the other day - I mean I had never even MET her before.

I so wish I could just say 'who says we can?' and see the look on their faces.....

Grrrr - rant over grin

PGTip Sat 16-Jul-11 08:58:23

Ask them when they last had unprotected sex, that's what they're asking you after all.

rimmer08 Sat 16-Jul-11 08:59:25

i get this all the time- been with DH since was 16 and am now 32. i favour...
1. smile
2. say not sure
3. if am feeling bolshy ask when do you think i should start

little do they know am TTC grin

GenericDietCola Sat 16-Jul-11 09:07:02

Oh yes, get what you mean about wanting to embarrass them. Another approach could be to blank them as if you haven't even heard them. Might try that <fears confrontation>

rimmer08 Sat 16-Jul-11 09:43:17

people can be so nosey, i like PG's tip. may try that also

buggerlugs82 Sat 16-Jul-11 10:31:08

cheers for the tips ladies. People i hardly know think its perfectly ok to ask! I find in rude. Very rude.

I think i might just roll my eyes and say "god how nosey are you"?

hairylights Sat 16-Jul-11 10:39:23

I used to make up stuff to minimise it. Butnow I tell them "yes. I've lost three in the last year but were still trying". Soon shuts them up.

SoloAgainItSeems Sat 16-Jul-11 11:31:27

The other thing to say is 'Lord no!!!!! I don't want kids!!!' with horrified look on your face.

jumpingjackhash Sat 16-Jul-11 11:41:35

I really like Soupqueen's suggestions and use similar versions! Have been ttc for nearly a couple of years now and about to start ivf, so it's a VERY touchy subject for me and one I find terribly personal and quite rude... funnily it's never close friends who ask (they're too kind, not nosey and trust us to make an announcement when we're ready!).

I bumped into an old colleague the other day who just wouldn't let it drop, even doing the old 'hmmm, so you've been married for x years now, you x years old, I really think you need to be having a baby soon, I can't believe you've not started yet...' so wanted to tell her to just fuck the fuck off, but of course just smiled and came out with the old 'well, there's just so much happening right now...'.

Why do people seem to think it's OK to ask about the details of your sex life? Maybe that's the response... 'so when are you next going to shag?' wink

BrianAndHisBalls Sat 16-Jul-11 11:47:32

Sometimes it is totally unintended though, I did this to an acquaintance the other day, I have no idea why it came out of my mouth but it did! I felt so bad after when I thought about it that I contacted her to say sorry blush For all I knew she might not have been able to / might not have wanted to / might have just had a miscarriage, but I was just trying to make conversation (badly) blush blush

Pipbin Sat 16-Jul-11 16:24:59

Someone asked my hubby the other day, 'why don't you have children?'.
Hubby said nothing and another friend, who had recently lost a baby, jumped in a gave her a real telling off.

the friend who issued the telling off is due in september grin

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