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If TTC has caused your OH to suffer from performance anxiety or other libido issues, you are not alone.

(3 Posts)
Imps7 Wed 13-Jul-11 20:32:57

I just wanted to highlight that, really. OH has never had performance issues in the 10 years we've been together until we decided to start TTC in January. Now if I:

1. Mention at any point in my cycle anything to do with babies, children, ovulation, cervical mucus (which, tbh I never have cause to mention in real life!), pregnancy, etc, etc, etc; or
2. Appear to be keener than usual to have a shag (on the basis that this must mean that I am ovulating)

my OH gets himself into such a blind panic that he must come up with the goods, that he quite simply can't. Now I spend the first two weeks of my cycle not so much wondering if his swimmer and my egg will get it on, but wondering if we will be lucky enough to have a successful shag to begin with. It's such a frustrating, sad and lonely place to be, and until I started reading these threads I thought that we were the only people in the world to be having these issues. But it seems as though there are plenty of others out there going through the same thing.

So, if you are in a similar boat - you are not alone! You and your OH have my sympathy and my support and I wish you all the best.

That's all I wanted to say really! I'll stop wittering on now and go and have a cup of tea.

TooImmature2BDumbledore Wed 13-Jul-11 21:26:34

I have been in this situation too. I carried my first baby to term but she died during labour this March. We are now trying again and DH was having difficulties with the pressure - knew I really really wanted another baby; really wanted one himself; worried about me and new baby during pregnancy/birth; worried about getting hurt again, etc etc etc. So we would start to have sex and he would gradually lose the...how do I put this? iron? <snigger> It's a vicious cycle - once it had happened once, he then started worrying that it would happen again, which made it happen...I hope all will be well now (sucessful bonking took place 2 days ago), but I can't be sure and it will be the best part of 2 weeks before I can test. I think the longer the ttc goes on the worse it will be.

Imps7 Wed 13-Jul-11 21:51:20

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry to hear about your baby girl Too. My god, no wonder it's been difficult for your OH to get back into the swing of things. I hope that you are being well supported in RL as well as on here. Congrats on the successful bonking though!! Long may it continue!

I've stopped talking to OH about TTC, and now I just consider us to be "not using contraception"! It seems to have done the trick for both of us - OH can put all the baby stuff out of his mind, and I don't get in a stress too much if we miss our chance in a cycle. We'll get there one day...it will just take frigging years at this rate!!

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