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Mourning our angel babies but still hoping for the future: let the swi commence!

(1003 Posts)
TooImmature2BMum Tue 21-Jun-11 19:40:32

This is a thread for those of us on the bereaved mother's thread who want a place to moan about the perils of ttc without upsetting anyone over there. We've gone through at least one pregnancy, and we know what it is to hold a baby whose eyes will never open, or to have lost a baby after a few days, weeks or years. We know the fear, but we're going to go ahead and do it anyway. And then do it again, especially in the middle of the month!

Newcomers will be welcomed with all the hand-holding and wisdom we can summon up - and that's a lot! Come in and join us: the door is always open.

DeterminedToGetDiffedDachs Tue 21-Jun-11 19:50:33

Can I join? I never actually posted on the bereaved thread although I was pointed towards it by lots of lovely people. I had IVF twins at 20 weeks on 21 May who were born sleeping after PROM and infection (a boy and a girl), having had a previous mc at 8 weeks last July. Still desperate for a real live baby so DH and I are planning to try again as soon as we can. If it hasn't happened before then we're planning to do IVF again in August, but we're hoping that the super fertile after a mc thing will apply and we'll not need to resort to IVF again (vain hope though that may be).

FX that this will be a lucky thread for all! smile

TooImmature2BMum Tue 21-Jun-11 19:52:44

Okay, I have finally got the all-clear from the doctors and as soon as AF is gone I'll be TTC. It's been 14 weeks since Thea's birth and I feel like I've been waiting forever. Left to me, I'd have been trying 6 weeks ago. Personally, I'm secretly hoping for twins (and it's not as far out as it sounds! I'm a twin and my dad's a twin). I've already broken into the folic acid and put 18 June into the due date calculator

Anyone else just a leetle obsessed?

TooImmature2BMum Tue 21-Jun-11 19:59:45

Oooh, crossed posts! Hi Dachs, welcome! Sorry to have to meet you under such sad circumstances, but glad you found us, if you know what I mean. My daughter was born sleeping on 13 March at 41+3. The doctors were unable to find any clear cause, but I had some abnormal blood test results, which turned out to be nothing, hence why I have only just been released to ttc.

FX here too!

CheeseandGherkins Tue 21-Jun-11 20:00:04

Hello smile

I'm on the thread too. Been trying since after the birth in December which is about 6 months but I didn't have my first period until Feb so, I count the time before that as hopefully I ovulated before it.

I've started using a clearblue fertility monitor now as I have PCOS and long/varied cycles so I never know when/if it will happen. Helps and doesn't at the same time.

Our daughter died in December last year at 37 weeks, I gave birth a few days later after being induced.

I've started folic acid too just in case. Currently on day 21 and still not ovulated :/ hoping that I will.

TooImmature2BMum Tue 21-Jun-11 20:11:29

Hi Cheese!

It took a while for my period to return - I had one after about 6 weeks, but then there was a 7 week gap before this one started. Naturally, on the very same day as we decided to start trying again! I always had longish cycles before (35 days) but they were pretty regular, so I hope that last time was just a post-pregnancy/high-stress thing. I don't know if I ovulated or not during that time - don't have ovulation sticks yet.

Counting down the days until Saturday - why did DH decide to have a bbq and invite lots of ppl that day? I want them out of the house so we can DTD! <hostess with the mostess emoticon>

DeterminedToGetDiffedDachs Tue 21-Jun-11 20:21:24

I almost never get positives on OPKs but I got one on Saturday so I'm expecting AF to rock up a week on Saturday or thereabouts - just after DH and I go away for a romantic holiday to Venice... hmm

So either I'll have AF and it won't be quite the romantic time we hoped, or I'll have a BFP and won't be able to drink at the nice restaurants we've booked to eat at! I know which one I'd rather it was... (But it won't happen)

CheeseandGherkins Tue 21-Jun-11 20:28:14

Enjoy the bbq TooImmature just make sure people aren't there too late wink

So far my cycles have been about 31, 33, 37 etc and as it's day 21 now I'm on track for a longer one. So frustrating!

I do like the clearblue monitor though, save money on pregnancy tests when they're far too early as I don't know when ov is. I got mine from amazon for half the price of boots!

Determinted so sorry for your losses sad I hope AF stays away for your lovely break away. Maybe get a BFP the day you return? smile

TooImmature2BMum Tue 21-Jun-11 20:50:45

It might happen, Determined - you never know!

Cheese, I hear you on the frustration!

AngelGeorgie Tue 21-Jun-11 21:07:16

Popping on to wish you all good luck. I ve been exactly where you re all at. My DD Georgie was stillborn at 41 weeks on 10th October 2010. We had all the investigations and post Morton I had an early MC in Dec 2010 then conceived again in Febuary 2011. Now 21 weeks pregnant with Georgie' s sister. Emotionally has been very hard going and I m back seeing my counsellor I saw for bereavement counselling. It's incredibly difficult trying to "enjoy " this pregnancy whilst mourning Georgie. However, I though I ' d pop on to let you know there is hope coming through the worst experience of my life there is hope , a different type of life to what I should have had but hope again. I know I ve " spoke" to some of you before but I want to wish you all the best luck in the world xxxxx

TooImmature2BMum Tue 21-Jun-11 21:16:05

Hi angel - I remember Georgie (and you). So glad to hear from you again. Please come back often - I should have extended the invite to those already pregnant again, but I forgot! Keep us posted on your new baby. Same goes to anyone else lurking out there, like Spilt or Caz.

greenzebra Tue 21-Jun-11 21:53:30

marking my spot! will post more tomorrow, been out at party tonight so a bit tired.

AngelGeorgie Wed 22-Jun-11 00:31:09

Thanks .tooimaturetobeamum xxxxsmile

AngelGeorgie Wed 22-Jun-11 00:32:39

Oh god completely got ire name wrong SORRY . Am I the first person to be " evicted" from a thread??!!! Xx

janedoe25 Wed 22-Jun-11 07:42:18

Hi girls!

I am ttc after my dd was born asleep on 28th feb 2011 at 41 weeks.
AF was due on thurs i have had 3 THREE BFN and still no AF! It is driving me insane, if im not pg i just wish AF would show hersef so we can start with the swi again!

angel congrats with the preganancy!

greenzebra Wed 22-Jun-11 07:48:34

Im so glad we have this thread! For the past one and a half weeks Ive had the ovulation sticks out, but silly me was doing them at the wrong time of day, shouldnt do them in the morning. So have now switched the the afternoon. Not sure if I have missed it or not so going to test for a few more days just in case, even though Im on day 23 of my cycle. I have had long cycles of up to 41 days before, but am hoping I am goiong to be more settled now.
Ive got so many mixed emotions, I desparatly want to be pregnant, and then I keep thinking of Ophelia (who was stillborn 8 weeks ago today). Im not tainting her memory am I?
Im trying not to be obsessive about TTC, epecially infront of DH, so thank god I can be on here!

janedoe25 Wed 22-Jun-11 07:56:16

Oh green of course you are not tainting Ophelias memory! You are simply adding to your beautiful family.
I am not using any ov sticks or charting, for a start i wouldn't have a clue how too!

I know what you mean about not being obsessive infront of DH, i am the same!

greenzebra Wed 22-Jun-11 08:07:12

jane I think though he is obsessing a bit too, he asks me everyday, have you taken the test? Wanting sex all the time. Bless him he so wants another baby soon aswell.
I got my diary out from last year, in it I had written symptoms, charting etc down in the hope it might help us this time round. Fingers crossed.
I still havnt had my 6 week doctors check yet, but we started TTC anyway. Im seeing the doctors next week, I phoned and made my own appointment. Im a little worried that something is wrong (and so it starts) my cervix are still really high, and they we usually very low! Need to ask her about this.

greenzebra Wed 22-Jun-11 08:09:12

jane poor you on the waiting. Would nt it be great if something changed in us straight away to tell us we are pregnant, like something changing colour or a siren going off! lol
Peeing on sticks is so undignified

janedoe25 Wed 22-Jun-11 08:17:11

ha ha green pink pee for a girl or blue pee for a boy!

I had to arrange my 6 week check at the drs, to be honest my appointment was a waste of time. She just felt my tummy to check uterus had shrunk and sat looking at me with that symapthetic look that everyone uses!

My OH is far too laid back to obsess about anything!

greenzebra Wed 22-Jun-11 08:22:02

Why dont the midwives tell us that we would have to arrange our own appointment. Garrrrr!
I need to arrange an ultrasound with the doc, to see if I still have fibroids.

TooImmature2BMum Wed 22-Jun-11 08:27:07

Hi Jane and Green!

My DH is also desperate for another baby - he spent the last 6 weeks trying to persuade me that it would be ok to start trying despite the fact that we were waiting for the post-mortem results and my blood test results. I was strong, due to Spilt's sad tale, but given that everything was either negative or inconclusive, I wish I had just thrown caution to the winds! I am not very good at not obsessing in front of him, but luckily he doesn't seem to mind.

Jane, I had a very long cycle this last time too and I took 2 tests and got 2 BFNs. Maybe it is normal to have slightly screwy cycles right after giving birth? I asked the doctor and she said oh yes, stress often causes that, and if I still hadn't had a period in 6 months then she would start testing my hormone levels! I was appalled, but luckily AF has now started. I couldn't have waited 6 months!

Green, of course you're not tainting Ophelia's memory! I had a conversation with Thea that went something like this: Mummy and Daddy want to have a little brother or sister for you, my darling, but it is not instead of you at all. It is as well as. We always wanted you to be part of a big family and the new baby will just be a little bit earlier than we would otherwise have planned (fingers crossed!).

greenzebra Wed 22-Jun-11 08:31:40

we havnt had the post motem results back yet, but we just went for it.

TooImmature2BMum Wed 22-Jun-11 08:33:01

My 6 week check was pretty much useless too - felt my tummy, took my blood pressure and gave me the sympathetic head-on-one-side look and asked me if I wanted anti-depressants. I said no because I wanted to ttc again and didn't want to be on any drugs unless I had to be. The surgery also tried to fob me off with waiting until 10 weeks to be seen, but luckily DH had an appointment already booked, so he used it to ask the doctor if she could fit me in and she said yes. I think it is ridiculous to have to book your own 6 week appt - it should be scheduled automatically after you give birth! If everything had gone as planned I wouldn't have bothered making a fuss and wouldn't have been checked until 10 weeks.

Loving the pink and blue pee idea!

MelMal Wed 22-Jun-11 09:18:44

Hi All,

My DH and I are trying again after losing our wee girl in March this year at 27 + 5 weeks. I'm trying to stay positive about it but am so impatient for next week to come so I can find out if we've been successful this month. I never ever thought that TTC would be so time and thought consuming.

Tooimmature2BMum - that's a beautiful sentinment and when we are lucky enough to be in that position it's something that we'll use.

Good luck all and God bless all our precious angels xxx

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