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Need cheering up over clomid

(14 Posts)
roastie Mon 06-Dec-10 17:25:15

Im fairly new on here. I have posted a few times but not recently and i just really need a bit of help getting my head in the right place right now. I cant talk to any of my friends as they all have children/babies or are pregnant, my husband no longer knows what to say to me anymore so im just getting really frustrated.
2 years ago my husband and i started TTC, 6 months ago i got put on Clomid 50mg after many tests which came back as unexplained infertility. Through these 2 years i have lost count of how many people i have watched become pregnant with very little effort. I have now finished my 6 months course of clomid and surprise surprise im still not pregnant. I'm having hypnotherapy which clearly insn't working and i am gernerally pretty chilled about it all until my period comes (which happened last night). I dont stress about it during the month at all. I have tried what people KEEP telling me just relax and forget about it and it will happen. Nop it hasn't. We are now trying Concieve plus after this period. Anyone used this before??
My main problem is now, i dread seeing my friends as all they talk about is there children/babies and now my friend has just got pregnant after trying 3 months and i am bitterly jealous to the point i think i dont hide it very well. I just dont understand. My husband and i are healthy, not over weight, dont smoke, eat healthy and exercise, we are finacially stable and very happy. And yet my friends are in the completely opposite position (apart from the happy bit) and wham bam she's pregnant??? And then there's my new sister in law im already worried that she is going to be pregnant before i am. The only person i generally wont be upset about getting pregnant before me is my other sister in law as i know they have been struggling (not quite as long as us)
I just dont know how to stop feeling so jealous and frustrated. Im not going back to the hospital until Feb and you know what it would be easier if they just told me you can't have children and then i would know what im dealing with. I have even started looking into adoption but i can't even do that right now because i have recieved fertility treatment.
Is there anyone who is feeling like me, anyone that can help me think straight and get back on track?? Im in my mid 30's and feel like im running out of time

JRsandCoffee Mon 06-Dec-10 17:33:53

Hi Roastie

I can't really say anything to help, I'm in a similar position at 36 although have only been trying since last October. I've taken one cycle of Clomid with no joy and have serious difficulty getting me and the DH in the same place at the right time due to his work, so taking the rest of the Clomid in the drawer is going to be a challenge! I've now just been told (joy of joy) that he's away in unfriendly places for four months from April although I then do get him back at home for a year, in theory!! I live surrounded by people with small beans and it is really hard, I burst into tears on Saturday listening to a woman with the cutest daughter talking about all the acts in Covent Garden while waiting in a loo queue! I console myself however every time I look at my neighbour who had hard fought twins in her 40's against the odds, there is hope, that's what I tell myself anyway. Hugs to you, you're not alone, if that helps at all.

roastie Mon 06-Dec-10 21:02:49

Thanks JRsandCoffee. What mg of Clomid have they put you on and did you have any side effects?

I keep telling myself it will happen one day. I even went and had my tarot cards read (which i dont believe in) just to see if anything came up in the cards, which it did. Im now thinking of fertility reflexology and hope that concieve plus helps.

Fairyontopofthexmastree Mon 06-Dec-10 22:26:20

Hi ya,

I don't know what to say as I've been trying for over 3 years, I have PCOS done 6 months of Clomid which didn't get me PG & now on metformin but not convinced by that. I was on the list for IVF but my BMI is too high. PCOS means it's very difficult to lose weight even with diet & exercise!! I've just hit 30 but know what you mean about time!
I'm also sick of friends falling pregnant (in 9 days a friend recently boasted)!!!! I feel totally let down by my PCT & feel I've been left to get on with it when I clearly need some sort of help.

Basically, I'm just saying that there is at least one person out there that knows how you feel!

JRsandCoffee Mon 06-Dec-10 22:42:53


I've been put on 50 mg and was given two months worth, one down, one to go. I'm hoping that given the DH's imminent departure in April for 4 months that they will up the dose to 100mg sharpish. It did give me rather bad ovulation pains, either that or it was indigestion, as I suffer from neither usually I couldn't say for sure!!! have had the same pains this month, again, not sure if it was ov pains or my liver objecting to entertaining people.... I seem to remember that my temparature stayed up for longer at the start of my cycle..... funnily enough the whole fortune telling thing holds previously unknown appeal for me too! You are not alone!!

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 07-Dec-10 07:37:01

"2 years ago my husband and i started TTC, 6 months ago i got put on Clomid 50mg after many tests which came back as unexplained infertility"

Hi Roastie

I feel for you.

Re your comment above

At two years of ttc without success it is likely that there is a problem with either one or equally both of you. I would not bother with using conceive plus; you are well beyond the stage of using such things anyway.

Would initially ask you what tests you have both had done to date (I ask this as some tests do get missed out); it actually sounds to me like you as a couple have not been properly investigated. This can happen in some units - was this private or NHS?.

What are your periods like; are they irregular, very painful or very heavy for instance?.

I would seek a second opinion from another unit; the one you have been dealing with to date sounds completely useless. GP should be able to now refer you to another hospital; it is fair to say that some units are definately better than others. You should also be seen far sooner than February as well; you need continuity of care and well spaced out appts do not achieve that aim.

BTW any test done over 6 months ago should be discounted. You both need up to date test results.

To give you a "diagnosis" of unexplained infertility did you both a great disservice; all this means is that they have failed to find out what is wrong. Its no actual diagnosis at all.

Clomid is often given to women who have problems ovulating so on what basis did they give you clomid?. Were you monitored whilst on it?.

You may want to talk to Infertility Network as they have a helpline and their website is helpful. This website has lots of information on it.

You will need to be persistant in order to get answers; it is all too easy to be fobbed off.

Warlin Tue 07-Dec-10 12:15:19

Roastie/ JRsand Coffee

I'm in a very similar situation to you so I feel your pain. Hy DH and I have been TTC for a year now and I am now on my first cycle of clomid (50mg). My issue seems to be that I'm not ovulating and I really hoped clomid would help (my MS have always been regular and I have no other issues that I know about). I have been using the OPKs and nothing....I still don't seem to be ovulating. It is so depressing and I too find it very hard when all my friends seem to plan their pregnancies and get pregnant no problem.

In fact I have just been invited out for lunch with my 2 best friends, children and husbands...can think of nothing worse...

I want o up the dose of clomd but not due to go back to the GP until next month. Have been referred to the hospital for checks and am also considering going to a private fertility clinic as apparently you get lots of scans etc. I'm frustrated as I don't know what is going on inside me.

I just can't see any reason why it's not working. I get ovualtion symptoms yet nothing seems to happen.

Any advice from anyone?

I agree with Attila the Meerkat that you have to be persistent. I told them I had been TTC for almost 2 years, when really it was less than a year!

laurielou Tue 07-Dec-10 15:34:21

Hi Roastie,

I could've written your OP! Although I did only take 3 months of Clomid as my period arrived early one month & put me out. My DP was told he had a "lower than average normal sperm rate". However this wasn't seen as a real problem & we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility.

We tried all sorts - Conceive Plus, grapefruit, cough medicine, various vitamins, positions etc etc.

To cut a very long story short I'm now 15 weeks pregnant (no thanks to Clomid!). I'm 38, its our first & the only thing I did differently was have a course of reflexology. I have no idea whether this helped or not.

The morning I had my positive result my DP had a letter from the fertility clinic confirming that his second tests results did indeed show a low "normal" sperm rate.

I really do understand how you feel - in the total of 3 years we spent trying I saw many friends go on to have 2 children. It was heartbreaking, I found it harder & harder to put on my happy face. We also didn't tell anyone what we were going through - we didn't want the sympathy etc.

Please don't give up hope - there are still more procedures you can go through. Or - like us - stranger things really can happen & just something clicks & eventually fall pregnant naturally.

I wish you all the very best, x

roastie Wed 08-Dec-10 13:38:01

Thanks everyone
Yesterday was awful a friend from work came in to show off her beautiful baby and then i got home and my sister in law came round and told me they were pregnant. Im so happy for them but couldn't help but cry right there and then. Later after they left i couldnt stop.
We have told very few people as well because i dont want the sympathy, it would just make it worst.

I finished clomid last month, and my period this month is extremly heavy.

I dont think im going to try and bring my appointment forward as we have been finding this all very stressful and it would be nice to have a little break and try the concieve plus and the clearblue fertility monitor now ( i have nothing to lose). Im not sure there is anything wrong with us, my tests were done just over 6 months ago before they put me on clomid. I cant remember the names of the tests, but i have had a scan of my overies, dye to check there are no blockages and god knows how many blood tests for this that and the other and they found nothing. One thing that has crossed my mind is that we are trying to hard and may even bee BDing to much! Im going to give the clear blue fertility monitor ago as that will take the stress off of knowing when to BD.
I had stressed to the Doctor's that i thought i didn't ovulate as i did lots of ovulation tests and never had a very strong sign and hardly any other symptoms. The only test i had when on Clomid was a blood test on a certain day of my cycle to see if i had ovulated and it came back as a yes i did. However when on Clomid i would been none the wiser if i did or didnt. We are thinking about going private but im worried that i will end up seeing the same doctor as i do on the NHS.

roastie Wed 08-Dec-10 14:16:21

Hi Laurielou

In regards to the reflexology course you did. This is something i have been thinking about, the reflexology you had was it standard reflexology or was ir fertility reflexology and how may sessions did you have?

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 08-Dec-10 14:38:51

Hi Roastie,

Re your comment:-

"Im not sure there is anything wrong with us, my tests were done just over 6 months ago before they put me on clomid. I cant remember the names of the tests, but i have had a scan of my overies, dye to check there are no blockages and god knows how many blood tests for this that and the other and they found nothing. One thing that has crossed my mind is that we are trying to hard and may even bee BDing to much! Im going to give the clear blue fertility monitor ago as that will take the stress off of knowing when to BD".

You were never properly investigated to my mind (they've missed a lot out) and as you do not mention any tests done on your man then I can only assume that his fertility was not investigated. Was he tested as well at the same time you had these initial tests done, appalling if he was not. Any test done over 6 months ago should be discounted, you both should have up to date test results.

At two years of ttc without success you are well beyond using such things as monitors anyway. CBFM will only add to the stress you are under so would urge you not to use it at all.

You must ensure that you are both properly investigated; there is a reason/s why conception is not happening.

It is all too easy to be fobbed off in the game of subfertility and I think you've been fobbed off here.

Were you monitored whilst on clomid, you should have been monitored with both blood tests and ultrasounds. Clomid is often given to women who present with ovulation problems.

If you go private there are some things to consider here as some private fertility treatment is poor as well as expensive. You therefore need to do your researches carefully before you part with your hard earnt cash. You certainly would not end up seeing the same doc as you are now.

I would in your case ask the GP to refer you to another NHS unit asap.

Infertility Network is a good website for you to look at; there is also a phone number you can call.

roastie Wed 08-Dec-10 14:56:31

Hi AttilaTheMeerkat

I do agree it is very easy to be fobbed off.

My husband was tested several times and the results were notmal, he also has a child from a previous relationship.

Whilst on Clomid i only had my blood tested to see if i was ovulating as i demanded that they did some sort of test to see if CLomid was even working for me. I didnt have anything else because that is not the procedure for my local NHS as i questioned this as i have heard of other people have scans etc.

Im so confused

laurielou Wed 08-Dec-10 15:24:48

Roastie I went to a standard salon but explained that I was having fertility issues. I signed up for a course of 6 treatments. They reckoned they did focus a bit on fertility, but the first few sessions were a general wellbeing clear out. They also set some of the appointments for certain times during my cycle. They said if I wanted to go back for another course of 6 they could focus 100% on reproductive areas, but this wasn't necessary in my case.

As I said, maybe it just helped me relax, maybe it was totally the reason I'm now pregnant, or maybe it was a total fluke. I'm unsure what to believe really. But after 3 years I was willing to give pretty much anything a go.

I'd really recommend it. If nothing else it gives you a bit of "me" time & a nice pampering when everything else seems so tough.

Some others on the 30's board swear by accupuncture. I'm a bit of a wuss & would rather try a nice foot rub first smile

I'm sorry you had such a tough day yesterday, its not easy, is it?

Regardless of what you decide with reflexology I'd also pursue the fertility clinic avenues.

Zuuz Mon 20-Dec-10 16:18:58

hi Roastie
I'm new here and not very familiar with the acronyms but just like you I feel like I can't talk to anybody I know that experiences the same thing as me. We've been TTC for almost 2 years, I'm 30 and healthy. Unexplained infertility I'm on my 4th dosis Clomid now, without success. My mood swings drive me crazy and if it's not my mood swings it's the stories from friends who are pregnant or show me pics of their babies. I find it really difficult to stay my happy self. DH is very supportive but it feels like we're slowly sliding down in a constant feeling of failure. It actually helps to write this, and to know that there are girls out there who experience the same thing. I don't know about you, but I feel like giving up on the Clomid. My gyn. prescribed it because she thought I wasn't ovulating, even though my ovulation kit was positive every cycle! Because I'm on NHS, I can't get through to her and I can't get another doctor either.. So this was my first post on this and I really hope you'll feel more positive soon... (and me too smile

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