How do you deal with work and dr/hospital appointments?

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

Hi All

In the last 2 weeks I've had 2 doctors appointments, and a telephone consultation just now where the dr said she is referring me for a scan, and then there will be a follow-up appointment after that where if nothing is found she will then refer me to a gynacologist (sp?). I'm so pleased that my Dr is so proactive but I am wondering how much to tell work about these appointments which I will need time off for.

Do you just say 'I have a hospital appointment' and leave it at that? have you been asked why you are having so many appointments?

I work in a small company where my 3 bosses are all men int heir 60s and whilst I would be deleted to tell them about my ongoing menstrual and gynalogical issues, I'm not sure whether they would want to hear it!

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

I suppose it depends on whether or not you mind your employer knowing that you are trying? Woudl be really interested to get other people's experiences/views on this.

[LadybeenKissingSantaClaus]

That's exactly what I say: "I have a hospital appointment" or "I have a doctors appointment". It's understood that you can't necessarily control when a hospital appt is scheduled and that there may be a long wait.

I would leave it deliberately vague and if they question you then provide only the information you feel you need to. Eg., it's for a series of tests my dr has referred me for, or, it a follow-up on the tests I had recently.

If you work in the sort of job where flexibility is possible then always offer to make up the time.

[lozster]

Tricky one this .... I'm presuming that you're having problems conceiving and might be having fertility treatment? I've just stuck with 'I have some Dr's appointments' to my female slightly older than me line manager who would, I'm fairly certain, be sympathetic. I'm not big on sharing personal info full stop and I don't really want people writing my career off on the basis that I'll be preggers soon or asking are you aren't you. My work can require travel and so far I've avoided any date clashes. I'm on Clomid for 6 cycles so feel I can't afford to miss any opportunities around key days! I think if I go on to IVF that might be the time to say something but I think I'll hold back for the moment. that all said, I manage a team and find it is easier to help people if you know what's going on but in this instance I think I'll hold out as long as I can. Who knows, maybe the next appointment may be pregnancy not conception related.

[SnowMiffles]

I agree - I keep it vague. Just a hospital appointment. Or consultant appointment. It is hard with my work to always get time off, but I work a bit later or earlier, but am quite firm that I need the time and book myself out of the diary. I've had the scans and consultant and now on clomid, so have had a few. I agree with lozster that if IVF were in the picture, I would come clean.

[lozster]

www.guardian.co.uk/money/2010/nov/29/dear-jeremy-have-your-say-29-november-2010#start-of-comments

OP just read this letter that is basically your conundrum in the Guardian yesterday... maybe you don't want to read it actually as some of the comments are making my blood boil (how dare you expect an employer to allow you to take time off to pro-create). Actually do read it - it's totally confirmed my instinct to say nothing at all about why you are attending a hospital appointment - I think I'll be doing this all the way if these comments are anythign to go by.

[vallinnapod]

My two pennies worth...!

For investigations and then the two cycles of Clomid I did just made sure my appointments were lunchtime-ish.

For the early days of IVF I did the same. For the past 3 weeks have been on daily bloods/scans so 'fessed up. My boss has been incredibly understanding - despite being what I would probably unkindly describe as an old school, 50-ish bloke. However I do work for a big organisation so there are HR processes and allowances for everything, positively - if that makes sense.