Hey all, Since deciding i want to have a baby...i've obviously told my other half about it...however, even though i was more against the idea than him in the past, he needs time to think about it. Now, i can totally understand this...it must be a bit of a shock for him...however, i've said i ideally want to take the coil out next August and start trying then as i'm nearly 30...i think he thinks he can wait until then to give me an answer...however, i feel i need more time to prepare for it and to be honest i feel a little impatient...i know i can't rush him, after all it's a big decision and he's only known about this sudden development for a month...but how long should i expect to wait before i ask him for a firm answer?? and what if he says no?! thanks for any advice or words of wisdom...x
I had the same thing - have been bringing it up for the last year or two, and I knew that DH wanted kids, but he has only just the other day actually committed to it, before just saying he was happy 'whenever' and he'd do what I wanted (don't misinterpret me, he's a real family man and wouldn't contemplate not having kids unless I didn't want to, he's just veyr laid back!). Give him time - he probably just needs to let it sink in.
My DH was reluctant to try for DC#2, so I told him I wanted to go ahead and stop taking the pill to make sure my cycles became normal. I told him I was in no rush to TTC,(a total fib) and we could use condoms as long as he wanted to. That lasted two months and now he is on board completely. I think having to use a condom each time sped up his willingness to try.
I did a simlar thing to you with my DP. He was always open that he didn't want to have children. Like you I just said to him that I would really like to have my coil removed 6 months later and have a go at having a baby. I then tried really, really hard not to mention it for a couple of months before kind of slipping it into conversation very occasionally. It took about 4 months for him to agree.
It's so hard to wait for him when you really want something but you should remember that you have almost certainly been thinking this over for a while now while it is a completly new idea for him. He needs to have time to get used to the idea of having a child without feeling too much pressure.
Sometime (and one mc) later my DP now can't wait for us to have a kid.