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36 TTC #1 and it's taking a while - anyone else care to share?

(28 Posts)
JRsandCoffee Wed 10-Nov-10 17:46:40

Ah I have a feeling this is a thread that replicates many that have gone before, but what the hell, I was hoping to hop on a suitable bus but one hasn't come along so I thought I'd start another :-)

I'm 36 and have been TTC for about a year, our timing was initially fairly lousy and now that I think I've got that nailed the DH is working away during the week.....until August, by which time i'll be 37 (just) tickety tock, Oh the JOY! I've had one go at Clomid and am hoping to do another cycle of it next month (that'll be a lovely one if the timing's out - darling, meet me at that travellodge just off the M25 and prepare for action!) and maybe squeeze in another over Christmas.

I spend far to much time trying not to think about the fact that we haven't concieved yet. The doctors are pretty up beat and keep saying we'll get there but not really doing much more than just giving me the Clomid, I'm certainly not getting these scans I keep reading about and haven't a clue about the blood tests - other than that my day 2 was normal, my day 21 was low and the one for PCOS showed no signs of whatever it was they were looking for....

Plainly I worry that I'm geriatric, my eggs are not just dead, they weren't there to start with, the tadpoles all have two heads and one tail per squillion and that we're all doomed....... ;-)

So, anyone else care to share the madness?

I've just re-read that eeek - I'm honestly not a miserable cow, tis just the uncheery facts!!!

OP’s posts: |
stinkypants Wed 10-Nov-10 20:16:19

it took me 18 months to conceive (including one miscarriage), and i know it seems an eternity - but now i have 2 lovely boys, so hang in there. i started trying when i was 33 i think, and am now nearly 36.
the absolute best thing was the ovulation sticks you pee on - worked for both my seems a long time ago now - but it is horrible each month when nothing occurs, i can remember it well. try not to force your partner into bed all the time, mine began to resent it and lose his drive! which is now better than ever, but the pressure was too much i think.
the o9ther advice i can offer is to spend lots of time cuddling friends' / family's babies - i'm sure it awakens the mummy in you.
good luck (:

stinkypants Wed 10-Nov-10 20:17:01

no, 32 it must've been!

JRsandCoffee Wed 10-Nov-10 20:40:53

Thank you Stinkypants! It does seem like an eternity and as you say, resisting the urge to frogmarch the beloved to the bedroom is I think crucial and we've avoided that so far.....good reminder not to..... Right, will try and find some babies to cuddle, have to make sure with a Jack Russell at the moment - he's sort of baby sized, and snuffles and blinks blindly at me if I try and move him or otherwise distsurb him for anything other than cuddles after his dinner.... My cousin refuses to pick him up or let him on her lap because apparentley he makes her broody and she already has two DCs!

OP’s posts: |
Desperatelyseekingbaby Wed 10-Nov-10 20:48:46

Hi there,

I'm 35 been trying for two years for baby number 3. My other two daughters are from my previous marriage. My husband has two children from a previous conviction too. So frustrating to want one together and can't seem to get there. Dr's cant find anything wrong had 5 cycles on clomid and decided to stop taking it for a while to see if it makes a difference. Feel so desperate now, I didnt think we'd have any problems! it's so consuming....

JRsandCoffee Wed 10-Nov-10 21:07:52

Agreed, it is very consuming, even if you don't want it to be and I find it very hard to stay optimistic which I know is silly as lots of people take a long time to concieve, particularly as they get older.

OP’s posts: |
formerblonde Thu 11-Nov-10 18:34:47

Hi Ladies, this is my first ever post on mums net! me and hubbie have been ttc for 8 months now, getting my period pains now,so another unsuccessful month. I'm very sad... is it just me or do all your friends seem to get pg at the drop of a hat?! grrrr

hhg Thu 11-Nov-10 18:40:48

I know - also TTC No 1 and no luck as of yet. My Sister In Law just asked when we are having kids and that we better get on with it! SO annoying

formerblonde Thu 11-Nov-10 18:44:41

people are so inconsiderate! as soon as you get married everyone seems to think they have a licence to ask you when you are having kids, i feel like screaming at them... would love to say actually we have been trying for a while and the whole thing is stressing me out terribly.. but thanks for asking... rant over! how long have you been ttc for?

hhg Thu 11-Nov-10 19:01:02

about 5-6months. Totally agree, don't understand why people feel they have the right to comment on such a personal thing. Have to just keep positive!

Desperatelyseekingbaby Fri 12-Nov-10 08:26:28

My XP's new partner is having a baby on Monday - the same week that AF is due to visit me ! My two children are so excited and I'm dreading it. I try to keep level headed but can't help the way I feel. Enough of poor me. Does anyone else get jealous of pg they seem to be everywhere at the mo !

Twilightfan1 Fri 12-Nov-10 15:00:01

This is a bit random, but have you had your appendix out? My bro and sil were trying for 3 years before they conceived. Just thinking about ivf when she had a scan which picked up there was a problem with one of her ovaries as a result of having her apendix out years previous. A quick op and 2 weeks later they conceived. They now have 3 and im ttc my 2nd.

Just a thought.

P.S I have a colleague who is pg and i am sooo jealous!

Desperatelyseekingbaby Mon 15-Nov-10 08:53:55

Thanks Twilight Fan,
I had my appendix removed at 16 but I have had two successful pg since then. I don't think this can be the case now? Thanks for the idea though.
How long have you been ttc #2?

womanlytales Mon 15-Nov-10 09:11:07

Hi - am 35 and have been trying for about 18 months -- it's been an eventful ride - diagnosed with PCOS, am on clomid currently with ovitrelle injection (first cycle of that)... and it is quite stressful and frustrating -- as far as other people's response goes -- in our case early this year the annoying part of my family wanted us to adopt without even knowing what was wrong or could be wrong... now they don't even mention the topic...but wax on for hours about their kids and how they know they are blessed to have them for so many others don't. It's days like these when I wonder why do I even talk to these nitwits....

Did have my appendix out - but they haven't identified anything about my ovaries except for the polycystic part.

Sometimes i feel like time is running out...other times I think -- u know what -- we can't stop till we know we have no other choice... so onwards we go cycle to cycle-- I wake up these days thinking of my CD day rather than identifying the day of the week! lol..

Lots of baby dust to you all

Greeneyesbigbottom Mon 15-Nov-10 09:59:02

Hi, I'm 37, TTC#1 15 months (although 'not trying' for about 6 months before that too).

My cycles are regular but getting shorter, I have spotting a few days before so LP is only 9 days. Have just had bloods done for Day 2-5 and 21 and DH has SA, we get the results next month.

Starting spotting last night, so feeling extremely fed up today. Still have sore boobs but I'm seriously past the stage of hoping every month.

Its difficult, especially when all our friends are getting pregnant.

JRsandCoffee Mon 15-Nov-10 18:22:16

Hello, it sounds like there are a few of us out there. I'm there with you on the fed up and past hoping every month although I thought there was not chance this month and I'm pretty sure I'm due and no symptoms of anything.....probably just means I didn't actually ov and I'll have a feeble AF.... I'm trying so hard not to hope! BUT I'm going to try and stay positive when the inevitable happens and take the Clomid festering in my drawer from D2 of cycle as instructed.

Interestingly my friends are in two camps - half have done the babies and are well into primary school chat and heading fast towards secondary age and not planning any more time in nappy land and the other half are either single and writing themselves off or married and planning to get round to it at some point, I suspect hopefully when their eggs have all given up!! So, I'm on my own!!

I'm also not a totally broody girl, the screaming toddlers I see around don't do much for my maternal instincts although I'm sure I'd feel differently if said toddler was my own....A friend (male - would have to be) said to me the other day that children (in hyper mode this is) are apparently like farts, your own are hilarious, funny and so wrong that they're right...other people's are just plain awful.... Oh dear, I do hope he's right and it did make me laugh!!!

OP’s posts: |
Desperatelyseekingbaby Tue 16-Nov-10 08:15:39

I keep telling myself it won't happen this month in the hope it won't hurt so much when it doesn't ! We're going to take a couple months off ttc because like you Womanlytales I only know what day in my cycle it is ! I've been obsessed for over two years and I spend my whole life counting. Irregular periods don't help as I have no idea when I ov if at all ! I hate that I sound so negative. I was positive but the let down has become too much.
Maybe I'll return in the new year with new found strength !!!
Babydust to you all.

womanlytales Tue 16-Nov-10 08:35:14

Best of luck desperately - I think it is great you're taking a break - am thinking of doing the same myself

HallieGirl Tue 16-Nov-10 08:45:40


I am in the same postion - trying for number 1 for nearly 8 months. Scan showed possible PCOS and I have been on clomid for 3 months, but it hasn't made me ovulate. Starting to get v down now - I am not being monitored, so have to take temps and do OTs to see if I have ovulated, but I think this is making me far too obsessed. Thinking of trying acupuncture now...

Waiting for a referal to a specialist. It all seems to take forever and I am not the most patient of people at the best of times!

Trying to keep positive though and organising things to look forward to like nights out and and a skiing holiday.

I wish I had started trying earlier now - but never imagined I would have any problems (I guess no one does).

matana Tue 16-Nov-10 10:13:23

My niece is 16 months old. She was an IVF baby and is perfect.

A friend of mine is 32 weeks pregnant - again, from IVF.

And I am 38 weeks pregnant after 2 and a half years of trying. There are not enough success stories shared to give people hope!

I have PCOS and we'd just given up all hope and decided to adopt when i fell pregnant. Three things helped me:

1/ a very supportive husband and strong relationship - we talked all the time about our options and yes, it was painful at times. The most important thing to remember is that your relationship must always come first, not the desire for a baby. Would you rather pursue a baby at all costs and potentially lose everything (i.e your soul mate), or make sure you keep hold of the good things in your life?

2/ I lost weight, ate healthily and exercised. I was never hugely overweight, but have always fluctuated. I reduced it to 25 bmi.

3/ I eventually tried Agnus Castus/ Vitex as a last roll of the dice. I took it for one month and found myself pregnant. There is a growing body of evidence supporting its use so it's worth a shot for those with PCOS. I swear by it. Even before i realised i was pregnant, my up and down moods improved and i felt a whole lot better in myself.

Good luck everyone and stick with it. Chances are you'll succeed one way or another - the odds are in your favour.

uggmum Wed 17-Nov-10 07:18:34

If your day 21 bloods are low it could indicate that you have not ovulated. Therefore, your clomid level may need to be increased.

I had clomid and had all the tests and scans. I would suggest that you repeated the day 21 bloods at the next cycle and see if the result is better. If it isn't I would discuss increasing the dose until the bloods increase.

laurielou Wed 17-Nov-10 08:28:00

OP, I could've written your post!

We started TTC when I was 35. Nothing. Various tests all showed everything OK, the boyf had slightly lower "normal" sperm than ideal.

I was given Clomid to just kick start things.

I turned 38 & still nothing. We had another round of tests & were advised once I'd finished my 6 months of Clomid we'd probably go straight to IVF, not pass go, not collect £200.

We went away for a weekend & my period arrived early. I didn't have Clomid with me & had to take an enforced break.

The morning the letter arrived from the hospital confirming that the boyf had a lower normal sperm rate was the morning I got my BFP! No Clomid required. At the grand old age of 38. I'm now 12 weeks, have my fab scan pictures glued to my side & am doing the rounds of telling everyone the good news.

I'm not going to preach & tell you to relax, things take time etc, as whenever I heard that I felt a rage like never before grin. Just don't ever give up. Stranger things can happen.....

laurielou Wed 17-Nov-10 08:29:19

Oh, if anyone is thinking of any alternative therapies, the only thing I did differently the month I conceived was a course of reflexology.

JRsandCoffee Wed 17-Nov-10 15:09:28

I was thinking about reflexology while wishing period would hurry up and arrive!! Interestingly one doctor that I saw suggested that as I seem to ovulate (temperature shift does happen) at about day 16 or 17 the blood tests at day 21 might well show low anyway...... Still have no idea and trying not to consider that my normally 14 day luteal phase seems to be 15 or possibly 16 days, still feeling periody though.....

What did your course of reflexology entail? Did you have to go on certain cycle days etc?

Thank you everyone for being supportive and telling positive stories!

OP’s posts: |
IfAtFirstUDontSucceed Wed 17-Nov-10 19:51:02

Hi ladies, I'm 31 and have been TTC#1 for over 3 years!!!
Admittedly, the first 12 months were "we'll see what happens", then after a while actively trying we took ourelves off to the docs.
In Jan this year I had bloods done and DH had a SA and both were fine.
In Feb, we were referred to a fertility specialist who diagnosed unexplained infertility hmm and lined me up for a string of tests - the next day I found I was PG However, it only lasted a couple of weeks. Fast forward 9 months (EDD of that little bean is today actually) and we're still having no sucess. Docs told us not to come back until we've had another full 12 months TTC since the MC.
<sigh> roll on March!

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