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Howdy pardners, grab your corset and mosey on down to the BESHt Little Whorehouse for all Wannabe Differs (30's)

(1001 Posts)
LadyGoneGaga Wed 27-Oct-10 21:20:04

Why howdy pardners, tighten your corsets, put a feather in your hair, pull on your boots and garter (*nipple tassles optional but welcome) and mosey on down to the BESHt little whorehouse in all of Diffas. Where the finest 30’s TTCers will fulfil your every need. There’s firewater -–Hendricks-- on tap and we’ll WOOFL you until you can’t WOOFL no more. Yeehaaw.

Menu
Straight up – the best rootin’, tootin’ baby making sechs in 7 counties
Cougar style – like Doggy but with claws, acceptable for updiffage
Rodeo – to be followed by a quick dismount to avoid leakage
Sherrif style – with spurs on
Backdoor – Recreational but not recommended

Specials
Dildocam – Half price this month only
Needlework/Foot massage – for those who like it a little bit woo
Zinc shooters – to keep the posse on the straight and narrow
Positive thinking – by the glass
Eggwhite omelettes – to keep your energy levels up
Gentlemen are kindly reminded to leave all prophylactics by the door and to kindly leave the cowboy juice in the receptacles provided as directed.

Ariesgirl Wed 27-Oct-10 21:26:47

Yeeeehaaaarrrr! Calamity Jane here, reporting for duty! Get me!!!

Thank you lovely GaGa. You haz made me smile today.

Ariesgirl Wed 27-Oct-10 21:30:15

Though I do appreciate of course that Doris Day wasn't a prostitute.

cincotart Wed 27-Oct-10 21:40:28

Whip crack away - yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!

This is my kinda place, cheers madamagaga

<sashays to the stage, high kicks, falls over onto bad, moody and very handsome cowboy and sneaks off some for rodeo action>

Truffkin Wed 27-Oct-10 22:05:02

I've just pulled up in my Surrey, hitched the mounts out front and am fixin' to get me a baybee. Firewater over here barman, I'm off to occupy one of those rooms for hire with my man friend cowboy Stevens (you'll be tryin' to find what's goin' on behind the green door....)

laurielou Wed 27-Oct-10 22:11:16

Yeee haaa orcs that fan-bloody-tastic news! Great end / start to new fred.

ovumahead Wed 27-Oct-10 22:39:11

[whispering sideways to the person next to me] what does BESH mean?

BrownB Wed 27-Oct-10 23:10:57

<shyly from dark corner where have been lurking and completely unable to keep up with the pace> ovu - have a Hendricks... someone will be along to enlighten you shortly... best have two in fact... and if you can find the BESH-tionaire that's good too I hear... wink

TwinkleToes76 Wed 27-Oct-10 23:23:52

Bloody brilliant news Orchid!!!!

Ocarina Wed 27-Oct-10 23:26:32

Yay, Orchid, that's fab! So glad to see the MAD is continuing.

rocketleaf Thu 28-Oct-10 07:17:49

<runs in, trips over spurs, lands on bar, downs shot of gin, runs out again>

just marking thread before i head of to work the ranch.

another YEEEAHAAAAAAWW for ourorcs

Ivegotmrbitey Thu 28-Oct-10 07:46:54

Mmmmmmmm cowboys smile

Casserole Thu 28-Oct-10 08:58:15

<runs in breathless>

A win? A WIN? I bugger off for a few hours and there's a WIN?!?

Congratumalations Orchid , so very pleased for you and MrO. Here's to another 36 weeks of nothing but blooming, in an orchidesque type fashion. Well jolly done. And an ironidiff is indeed our favourite sort grin

And to all wondering: BESH = Barren Evil Selfish Hags. We are often quite bitter and twisty in here, on account of how we've been ttc since Ed and David Milliband had nothing to argue about other than who got the biggest sticklebrick to play with. We don't do babydust, we DO do gin and lesb-eroti-violence. And our very own special charting method.

<tightens corset, cracks whip, straddles something>

Yeeeeeeeeeeeehah!

PollyPoo Thu 28-Oct-10 09:09:53

<tries to tighten corset around gut, fails.> <laces up boots and sticks on nip tassles instead> Well done on the fred LadyGG, love the menu. I'll have an eggwhite omelette and a pint of moonshine plz. grin Cass!! <leaps on Cass and wraps legs around her. Falls off. Has another drink>

owlgiblets Thu 28-Oct-10 09:28:22

ORCS !! Yay yay yay yay yay yay grin

So v pleased & bonus points for getting a win in the final moments of the fred. Top work!

May you have the most boring, unremarkable 36 weeks ever.

LadyG splendid work on the new fred; now pass me them there zinc shooters. BrownB nobody can keep up with the fred; tis impossible. Fret not. Ovu there's a helpful link probably on about page two of the conception board where someone has asked that very question...

<puts cowboy hat on firmly and gets out the tequila>

saltyair Thu 28-Oct-10 09:30:08

Eggwhite omelette you say Pol? I may be able to help you there...

Nice thread LADYGG

Morning ORC!!!!!!!!!! Did you wake up this morning and for a moment not remember why you were so excited?????

New person <scrolls back>, erm...*Egghead* I think you are called, no? Find questionnaire, fill it in and deliver it to the bar.

Morning all. I am VERY proud of myself because I have hurty buzzwams today and my first thought wasn't 'oooooooh I'm diffed' it was 'ahhhh, that'll be Droid being due next Tuesday'. You see how I am defeating the menkul, in a gunslinging sort of way....

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ivegotmrbitey Thu 28-Oct-10 10:00:54

Well done saltedpeanut outpsyche the effer!

Medee Thu 28-Oct-10 10:12:51

Orchid just caught up on end of old thread - fantastic news, hurrah!

Ariesgirl Thu 28-Oct-10 10:38:57

The number of Yeehaaas going on is making me grin as is the thought of Pol in maternity Wild West ho gear with tassles.

Here's the challenge: who venture up Brokeback Mountain can turn Heath Ledger? Obviously this would involve him not being dead too <weeps anew> Trying to think of more dead fit cowboys now - Butch and Sundance? Him? (knowing my luck at the moment he's probably a gay icon I didn't know about. We can but drool)

Ariesgirl Thu 28-Oct-10 10:41:04

Obviously I meant "dead fit cowboys" in the above as in extremely handsome cowboys such as Paul Newman rather than dead and handsome in the manner of Heath Ledger.

A little ambiguous.

Ariesgirl Thu 28-Oct-10 10:41:44

Though thinking about it, Paul Newman is also dead <gets coat. Hails taxi for one>

raspberrytipple Thu 28-Oct-10 10:46:17

Sorry to thread crash but I have to ask as it's driving me crazy, what does BESH stand for? I just cant work it out?! grin

Ariesgirl Thu 28-Oct-10 10:47:26

There is that very question a little way down the Conception page.
s
c
r
o
l
l

d
o
w
n
!

saltyair Thu 28-Oct-10 10:50:33

Rasberry -There is an explanation if you just scroll up a bit to Casserole's post.

Rie I heart Heath Ledger longtime. Lovely boy. I don't mind about him being gay, I'd be willing to give it a crack (I do have quite manly shoulders) but I do mind about him being dead. That is not ok.

I don't think you can hail a cab in this thread. You'll be wanting a wagon. Or a horse.

Ariesgirl Thu 28-Oct-10 10:54:25

Obviously I meant bring him back from the dead. Or better still that he hadn't died at all, poor love. I didn't mean t'other. Yeurgh.

Wagon for one! And a wild stallion <smirks>

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