IVF for DC 2...? Can't decide...aged 41

[NotAtAllConvinced]

Hello,

I have a 20 month old son and have been trying for DC 2 for about 8 months.

I am 41 but apart from that, we have no fertiltiy problems (on my side, am ovulating regulalry; FSH and LH normal). Not overwieght, don't smoke or drink. Use Persona to chart fertile days. Under some stress at work and tired all the time but who isn't?

I really don't know whether to go for IVF treatment now- I don't know how much longer we can wait...however, I am really worried about the physical aspects of IVF as well as the cost (looking at the Lister clinic, it looks like about 5k per cycle!)

I really don't know what to do. I would really like another child (mainly as a sibling for my little one) although it would not be the end of the world if we didn't have another one (our DS is quite a handful!) A friend of mine thinks this ambivalence is what's stopping me conceiving although I think this is bollocks myself.

Any thoughts appreciated. Thanks.

[Ariesgirl]

If you're both happy with one, why put yourself through it? It's a very, very tough process unless you really want it, and forgive me for saying so, the chances of success at 41 are quite small. There are millions of very happy only children all over the world! That's only my opinion, so if you decide it's what you want, you go for it. All the best with whatever you decide.

[NotAtAllConvinced]

Thanks, Ariesgirl. I think you've largely summed it up for me although I know DH would really like another one.

Need to think more I guess.

(Lister are claiming 33% success rate given all my factors listed above...not great but not awful...)

Thanks for your thoughts.

[gumblossom]

How long did it take to conceive your DS? I wouldn't necessarily give up trying naturally yet. I conceived our DS after my 41st birthday and after 7 months trying.
If you have no other fertility issues, then it may just be a matter of time.
I disagree about your chances being quite small at your age.I think it depends on your general health etc.Yes, it might take longer to fall pregnant, but it happens all the time, and women over 40 have healthy babies all the time too.
I'm 43 and haven't given up or turned to ivf yet.
If I were you I'd maybe give it a bit longer, then go for ivf. To see your little boy with a sibling will really be lovely.But if you're happy with one, then that's ok too.
Good luck with whatever you decide, and join us on the over 40's ttc thread if you like...

[Italiangreyhound]

NotAtAllConvinced

It's totally up to you, not trying to persude you to have another! Just giving my thoughts!

I am not sure you can stop pregnancy happening by being ambiguous about it, otherwise all those people who actively try to stop getting pregnant and then do, would not, if you see what I mean! However, Robert Winston, famous fertility expert, did say in a radio interview that he thought we could influence these things by the situation!

I would just say that there probably are other cheaper clinics if you want to try IVF (Look on the HFEA website for locations). Also, are you breastfeeding still, if not, have you recently stopped because that can influence fertility.

Also, if you are really keen to have another why not read a bit of Zita West (you can pick up her books at the library) and try sex every other day, when DH is keen, if you are happy with it, because that is when his swimmers are at their fittest! This scatter approach seems to get the thumbs up more than trying at specific times based on when you think you will ovulate. Obviously you wont ovulate all month! But you may not be sure exactly when so sex every 2 days gives you the best chance. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Both of you would need to be tested further to see if you're actually suitable for IVF in the first instance. It may come to pass that you would not need IVF at all.

BTW I don't think that any ambiguity on your part has anything to do with the situation now. If blood tests have shown that your levels of LH and FSH are normal then this is good but do not rely on persona monitors alone (they can give misleading results). You need up to date and accurate test results.

Even though you are a fit and healthy 41 year old your ovaries may not be. These get old too; what you also need is a test to establish your actual ovarian reserve.

I would have a look at the HFEA's website as they govern all aspects of fertility treatment in the UK. You may also want to read "the IVF revolution" written by Prof Robert Winston. Your overall chance of conceiving now at 41 would be better overall that ttc at say 43/44.

[NotAtAllConvinced]

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone.
DS one was conceived accidentally! Ironically it was on a 'red' day according to the Persona machine but I hadn't had the egg symbol and so thought I hadn't ovulated. Only time we had ever taken a risk.

Thanks, gumblossom. Good luck to you. I'll look over that thread. I think we might try naturally for a few months longer...
I keep peeking into that thread but never posting...

Italiangreyhound Thanks for the Zita West recommendation. I've got the Toni Wessler book in my Amazon basket too! Not sure I can face sex every two days though...poor DH! It's already a bit of a chore.

Atilla, yes, see above re: Persona! Perhaps the reserve test would be useful. I got the Winston book for 85p this morning so thanks for the tip. (A friend of mine was teated by Winston many years ago and has two lovely childen.) Thanks for the advice.