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Win tickets to a live recording of The Guilty Feminist Podcast

(23 Posts)
KiranMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 21-Apr-17 08:41:57

For a chance to win tickets to a live recording, share with The Guilty Feminist Podcast the challenges you have encountered as a parent - and the ways in which you've handled them. Or, share what your successes have been as a feminist parent.

Perhaps you've drawn on strong female role models, maybe you've had conversations about feminism with your children that have made your proud, or maybe you're wondering about how to keep those conversations going with them.

The Guilty Feminist is presented by comedian Deborah Frances-White. In every episode, Deborah also reads out a selection of her own experiences of feminism and sometimes those of her listeners. The section starts with the phrase 'I'm a feminist but…'. For example "I'm a feminist but once by four-year-old nephew insisted on me putting on my wedding dress to watch Beauty and the Beast with him – and I also put on my tiara which he had not requested." By sharing your experiences of feminist parenting on this thread, you could be a part of the conversation Deborah has in the upcoming podcast episode on motherhood.

You could also win two tickets to the live recording of that episode at the Brighton Festival on May 28 at 7.30pm. Deborah Frances-White will be joined by guest co-host Jessica Fostekew and guests Rebekah Staton and Sharon Horgan to discuss motherhood and the joys and pressures of being a feminist parent.

Share your experiences on this thread by May 12 for a chance to win two tickets to the show. You can find out more details about the event here or find out more about the podcast here.

charliesfavouritebook Fri 21-Apr-17 12:43:25

I love the Guilty Feminist smile <misses point of thread>

pandapop17 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:26:38

Love the guilty feminist!

I work full time and my husband is a stay at home dad. We are both very happy with this but still face constant surprise from others.

There are so many assumptions made about parenting. People assume he is a reluctant stay at home parent rather than a preference. They think he has been forced into it. People also think that he must be really lonely as supposedly men hate play groups. He actually loves going to play groups with the kids and has lots of male and female parent friends.

People also make loads of assumptions about me like:

I must hate working and miss the kids (i love working and don't really miss them)

I must be some high powered business women. As only really successful women get to work if dad stays at home. I actually have a pretty average job and earn a modest salary.

People ask about my child care arrangements all the time. No one ever asks male colleagues, they assume mum has them.

newtlover Fri 21-Apr-17 18:45:12

my success would be that one of my adult DDs bought the other tickets to the guilty feminist podcast as a christmas present
honest!

redexpat Fri 21-Apr-17 19:29:52

Ds wears pink socks with characters from Disney Frozen, but mostly because they dont make any in green which is his favourite colour.

Whenever anyone calls DD a princess I correct them to say prime minister.

BlueBlueElectricBlue Fri 21-Apr-17 20:47:11

I utterly fucking love this podcast.

I lived in an abusive relationship for years, eventually got away and have been trying to show my DD since then how to be as strong as you can be, even when you don't feel it. Her strength and honesty and bravery when she deals with her dad makes me proud everyday.

Silly example, when she wanted to cut her hair into a pixie cut and her dad told her he wanted her to keep it long, she told him that it was 'her hair and her body and so it was her decision'. Then when we talked about it and how all the other girls in her class have long hair, and that some more mean kids might say 'Urgh you have hair like a boy' she said 'I will just explain that I am a girl and this is my hair, so it is girl's hair' and rolled her eyes. She has just turned 11.

TBF, you should probs give her the ticket.

Though, on the flip side... I'm a feminist but, although my DD comes to me for all her technical problems and life support and guidance and that's cool and all everything, I actually get a little thrill of pleasure every Halloween, when she asks me to do her special effect makeup because that's the only kind of makeup I'm any good at and it makes me feel like a capable mum (ducks and runs)

QuentinSummers Fri 21-Apr-17 22:25:40

My success as a feminist parent (I say mine but actually it was a success of both me and my husband as feminist parents) was to be one of only 1000 parents out of 1million babies born to take up shared parental leave when it was introduced in 2011. My DH and I both took 6 months off. Massive change in both out perspectives and one of the best things ever for our relationship with each other and our children.
My eldest son (13) says he will work PT when he has children as he loves babies and wants to spend as time with them as possible, I think his mindset about parenting has been very influenced by what he sees at home and I hope that stays with him as an adult.

SouthPole Sat 22-Apr-17 19:59:47

Fucking love this podcast.

It's getting me through my pregnancy insomnia at the moment.

2nd time surrogate mother for my friends who couldn't conceive despite repeated attempts.

Three of my own at home and working now full time towards partnership at my firm (am a solicitor).

Spent 8 years at home and didn't kill anyone. Inc myself...

Nothing majorly feministic to report in this family. But we're raising two boys and one girl to be who they want to be, hopefully better versions of ourselves.

I have a boy who wears make up and breastfeeds his dolls and a girl who wants to be a princess but that's ok too. As long as she continues with her education!

The other one is a fucking thug - not sure what to do about him!

MsInterpret Sun 23-Apr-17 11:00:28

Love Guilty Feminist and have been recommending to all and sundry.

I have two daughters (7 and 4) and they're frequently known to add an 'or SHE!' when someone casually assumes a doctor or dentist or prime minister or train driver will be male. <proud>

I find it difficult to be in town with them or even walk down the street actually with the number of awful billboards which have half naked women posing coquettishly or even not naked women just fulfilling stereotypes e.g. Being a bit dozy...er, why would being female = that?! It's especially hard because I KNOW I do loads to feel 'guilty' about and have been mega brainwashed by the likes of Just 17 etc in the past e.g. I always wondered why I didn't get that perfect beach waves hair and sprinkling of sun kissed freckles that the models had come summer. (Obv because I lived in rural Scotland and didn't have a makeup artist/stylist close to hand as they did....!)

I do have a very feminist DH who supports bringing up the girls with such consciousness, but it ain't easy!

I'm a feminist, but...all of the above!

shhhgobacktosleep Mon 24-Apr-17 17:01:13

My now newly adult daughter introduced me to the guilty feminist last year. We are both hooked and would love to be present for the live recording. I'm so proud to have raised a daughter who respects herself and believes she's capable of achieving anything she puts her mind to and works hard to make that happen.

I remember a day when my daughter and her twin brother were small, they were sat in their pushchair while I dashed around finding my shoes ready to take them to preschool, before work. They were singing "The farmers wants a wife" and my daughter stops in her tracks and asks "mummy why does the farmer want a wife?" I turned to smile at her and replied "well hopefully because he wants someone to share fun things with and not because he wants someone to wash his clothes and clean his house." She looked me straight back in the eye and said "Yes mummy because that would just be very sad". From the mouths of babes smile

roughtobuff Tue 25-Apr-17 13:23:57

Bloody love this podcast, just marking my place to come back to later.

PencilsInSpace Tue 25-Apr-17 21:39:46

I haven't come across this podcast before, I'll give it a look smile

sailinggirlie Wed 26-Apr-17 14:20:45

Brilliant podcast! Makes me laugh every time. I don't think that I can talk about parenting wins tho. My princess obsessed, tiara wearing daughter does, however, proclaim a love of 'hideous dolls' loudly in the shop (owns stocking on xmas day "mummy! It's a hideous anna dolly" and in toy shop "mummy! Look at the hideous Cinderella!"). She does however, dig in the mud in her full princess get up and believe princess pirates should follow the rule of 'no blood, no tears... it's the pirate way!' 😉

MTBMummy Sun 30-Apr-17 10:46:48

My success would have to be taking DD (7) on a woman's rights march, and ever since she's quick to correct people when they make gender based generalisations or tell people just because she's a girl doesn't mean she can't do something.

That said, we love spending the first weekend of any school holidays painting her nails, and she obsesses for ages on what dress to wear.

SleeplessintheSE Mon 01-May-17 07:48:40

Like a previous poster we were also one of the few families to take up shared parental leave- twice.

Ours are both still small, but the other thing we've done is to be in the 4% of families who have used the mother's surname. Apparently A lot of men find this notion incredibly emasculating...but why? Why the convention? Do 96% of women really hate their surnames that much? Or is it the patriarchy at work again?

Love the Guilty Feminist!

Snog Wed 03-May-17 06:33:05

My dd's take on princesses was always why would you be a princess when you could be queen?

I'm a feminist but I'm still frustrated that dp is shit at DIY! I've recently done a DIY course to upskill myself but the frustration with dp's lack of skills remains....poor old dp.

andadietcoke Thu 04-May-17 20:30:44

Lottie (3): Grandma, please can I have a pony toy?
Grandma: No, I haven't got any pennies
L (emphatically, with palms outstretched, and in the tone of someone speaking to an idiot): But Grandma, you have to go out to work.

I work away from home half the week and it's been important to me that my three year old twin girls see me as a positive role model. They understand that I have an important job but it means I earn money so they can have nice things and that daddy does a lot of the principal parenting.

We also went on the Women's March just after Trump got into power. It's important for me for them to see that we can stand up for ourselves and for other women who might have less rights than us.

BagelGoesWalking Fri 05-May-17 23:50:09

I would love to take my DD 17 to the podcast. She listens to the podcast already and we were just talking about it tonight!

In fact, we've been ganging up, with my sons girlfriend, on the patriarchy all night! grin

Faithless12 Mon 08-May-17 18:04:38

Challenges have been trying to juggle a full time job and still being an active parent in terms of seeing all of DS's school plays, assemblies etc. I quickly realised it's pretty impossible in a lot of ways and the cost of child care ate up savings very quickly. It's madness when your take home pay from a professional job is swallowed up by childcare.

andadietcoke Mon 08-May-17 23:31:25

I'm a feminist but on Sunday I let both of my daughters go to the supermarket dressed as Disney princesses and just hoped everyone would think they'd been to a fancy dress party.

TheOldestCat Tue 09-May-17 22:43:12

I'm a feminist but...

...at the recent St George's Day church service with my Brownie pack, I listened to the vicar talk about how everyday folk are superheroes for volunteering to lead Scouting and Guiding groups, and when he got five children (all but one of the boys) out of the congregation and proceeded to give them Superhero masks of which NOT ONE was a female superhero, I did not get out of my seat and bellow "oi! Everyday sexism! Girls are superheroes too!"

I just bristled.

And devoted the entire Brownies meeting the next night to "girls are superheroes" looking at Marie Curie, Rosa Parks etc.

Yours,
Snowy Owl

Ps love love love the guilty feminist and listen to it when I'm running - keep up the fantastic work

TheOldestCat Tue 09-May-17 22:45:16

'All but one of the boys' should read 'all but one of THEM boys'

MsInterpret Thu 11-May-17 16:56:50

A book I saw on FB had become a bit of a bible for me and my girls - thought would recommend here. It's called Bedtime Stories for Mighty Girls and is beautifully illustrated by lots of different artists and with a short 'story' on each page about a different woman who is mighty!

my DD7 (who is named after one of the 100 women featured in the book!) loves it and I have learned a lot too - what I especially love is hat all kinds of Mighty have been considered and included - even if I don't agree with each of them, I mostly do and can respect that others might. (Eg Maggie Thatcher!!!)

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