feeling so worried and down - diabetes

[poppy20]

sorry I feel so ashamed of myself and down. My 20 year old son was diagonosed with diabetes 2 weeks ago and I feel so despairing and sad how quickly life can change in a day. I am trying to be positive, my son is brilliant back at uni and so strong but i am a wreck .....sorry to moan

[Chil1234]

Diabetes, if managed correctly, does not have to get in the way of someone enjoying a completely normal life. Besides which, diagnosis & treatment is a whole lot better than carrying on with the symptoms he was presumably suffering.

It's natural to feel down... we don't like the idea that anyone close is unwell. But if he's OK with everything then let him be your inspiration not to wallow. Find out how you can best support him in a positive sense... food isn't a bad place to start. And good luck.

[paddyclamp]

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when i was at primary school...and can honestly say the whole thing was more traumatic for my mum than it was for me!

I survived uni, mega drinking sessions, childbirth completely unscathed..and better than that after 27 years of diabetes i have no major complications and just a bit of minor damage to one eye that they can laser!

He will have a full and normal life..but if i can answer any questions that will help ask away!

[ChickenInABasket]

Hi Poppy,

What a shock for you and your son. My DP was diagnosed with type 1 when he was 17 and it's never stopped him doing anything - he's got a brilliant job, back-packed round the world for a year, does triathlons (nutter) and is the fittest most healthy person I know. And like Paddy he gets very drunk when he wants to!

I'm sure your son is getting some brilliant advise from his diabetes DR/nurse, he'll have regular full check ups for the rest of his life too, they are very thorough to make sure not just his blood but also his eyes, feet etc are OK.

Hope all goes OK for you and your son.

[coll2010]

Hi there Poppy,

Please don't feel ashamed as how you are feeling is completely to be expected. My dh was diagnosed in his early twenties and both he and myself and his parents were told it was good to go through a grieving process for the 'normal' life that we would no longer have. It is a shock and there is so much to take in at the beginning but it really doesn't take long to adjust.

My dh is now 43 and like chicken's dp and Paddy, his diabetes has never stopped him doing anything and he has a fantastic 'normal' life. The technology with diabetes moves so fast and there is constant advancement in the treatment and very impressive NHS care. Have you looked at joining Diabetes UK, they have a monthly magazine and I have contacted them many times over the years for advice and they have always been very supportive.

Best wishes to you and your family.

[lulurose]

Hello, so sorry to hear about your son, it must have been a big shock. It has come at a time when you would hope that he could be completely independent and "fly free" for a time. Of course, he still will, but will have to get used to a new routine which will in time become second nature.

My daughter was dxd aged 17 months, and while I desperately wish she could have a carefree childhood and been dxd later in life, I understand when people say " at least she'll never know any different".

take care of yourself, Diabetes UK can help and JDRF are invaluable to us. My DD is now 4 and happily has great control using an insulin pump and glucose sensors, technology is moving fast, I'm optomistic we will have some sort of artificial pancreas soon, if not a cure

What I would say is, make sure your son's housemates are aware of how to treat a hypo and take a BG reading. They could also make sure he is up every day.....night time hypos are a worry, especially with alcohol mixed in but I'm sure his nurse will be able to advise further. Let us know how you are, I remember my DDs diagnosis, I took it hard.

xx

[yessirnosir]

Hi Poppy - my dd was diagnosed about 18 months ago and I think I'm still grieving now. A diabetic can do everything anyone else can and have a great life, but they have lost the normality of not working out how every mouthful of food, activity, and emotion affects them. It is normal to be sad and I think it possibly is worse for the parent than the child. I know my DD has a lifetime to live with this and she's the one who will have to deal with it in her adult life, not me, but I also know if it were me, not her, I would accept things much more than I can knowing it's my precious child who is affected.

I would say no one understands like the parent of a diabetic, I don't think it's the same to be diabatic as to be a diabetic's parent. May I point you in the direction of CWD - it's for parents of children with diabetes. Obviously most people there have children, not adult children, with diabetes, but there are some on there who have children who have left home and their email lists are a mine of information and support. Link (I hope) is:

www.childrenwithdiabetesuk.org

Also make sure he is under the best care possible, access to things like pumps varies massively region to region. The best places for children I understand are UCLH, Leeds and Addenbrookes, I'm not sure if it's the same for adults, but if he isn't getting access to treatment he wants he can go out of area. And I agree make sure his close friends/house mates know what to do in event of a hypo. Hopefully he has good friends who can keep an eye out when drinking etc.

Good luck, hopefully it will make him stronger and if you ever want to offload here I always try and keep an eye out for diabetes threads, though there don't seem to be many.

[lulurose]

Yes the CWD email list is great, I have found it to be a great source of info and support over the last 3 years.

I really recommend the JDRF Discovery days too.

[poppy20]

Thank you all so much...your support has been invaluable during a difficult couple of days. I do feel I am grieving for my normal healthy child....it is hard but thank you for reassuring me that this is normal xx