is there something wrong?

[smileyhappypeople]

i am concerned about a friends little boy. he is 2.5yrs old
i often look after him while his mum works. i am concerned about some of his behaviour, dont know if its just me so would appreciate mn opinions. here goes...
he only plays with same toys over and over, even at pgs etc he plays with the same toy. he also plays on his own.
he plays with my own dd but its more that he follows her and copies her rather than playing along with her.
he refuses to have new clothes, shoes etc.
if you ask him a question he doesnt answer but just repeats what you have said back to you.
actually in general if you talk to him he doesnt seem to understand what is being said, he just repeats words back to you.
when doing tasks such as going to the toilet, i have to tell him each instruction 1 by 1 eg pull your trousers down, pull your pants down. (if he pulls trousers down and i dont tell him to pull pants down he will just wet them).
he will get something in his head and just repeat it over and over. eg 'its raining'. if you try to further the conversation by saying for eg 'oh no will we get wet?' he still just repeats its raining.
he will find 2 small toys every morning and carry 1 in each hand all day.
he hits and pushes etc. if another child comes anywhere near him. also he doesnt like to be touched. however he wont move from his spot.
certain words trigger actions. eg. mention leaving the house (even if just having conversation with dh and he is playing in same room), he will go and get his shoes and just repeat the word pushchair over and over. or if food/drink etc are mentioned he will go straight to table and repeat what he has heard.
he is extremely naughty for his mum, she cant even take him to a supermarket. it takes her ages to get him out of my house.

[bethylou]

I know a reasonable amount about children with SEN (as I work with them for a living) but not so much about typical development of 2.5year olds (as my own DS hasn't got there yet). It does sound a bit worrying to me but I've also known some children who cause concern at that sort of age and then really change by the time I get them when they enter school.
Quite how you mention your concerns to a friend, I don't know. I tend to avoid doing so altogether, working on the fact that they will ask for my opinion if they want it and then try to tread very carefully. Hearing that someone else has concerns for your child must be very hard (even if the friend has underlying concerns herself that she ahsn't yet spoken about).
If you want to try and help the little boy while he is with you, I would try to make your routines as consistent as possible, give him warning before you do something different/new and keep your language short and simple e.g. 'trousers down' rather than 'now pull your trousers down'. It would also be useful to start any instruction to him with his name to try and get his attention first. All these things are good practice when working with all children, so your friend wouldn't necessarily pick up on the fact that you are doing them especially for her son, but they might well help you to help him. Hope this helps.

[smileyhappypeople]

thankyou for your help. nice to have a second opinion, i dont feel so awful now. starting instructions with his name is a simple but useful tip. he generally assumes i am talking to him even when talking to other people so it might help him recognise the difference. hopefully with a little extra help he might come on and have 'caught up' by school age. dont think he has ever had much 1 on 1 time with anyone and has always had a very set routine so the change maybe confusing him too.