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Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you have any serious medical concerns, we would urge you to consult your GP.

Oh Great. Do I send him to school?

(24 Posts)
HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 07:12:05

Ds is 6 and on his third school day back...we had attendance issues last year, apparently...this morning he came into my room saying he felt sick, then ran to the toilet and stood there a while, had a wee and said he felt better...he is currently O.K. and watching tv.

I don't know what to do. He's had bugs that start this way before. If someone else's child did this and they sent them to school, I would be annoyed...but then I am emetophobic.


HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 07:12:57

(presuming he doesn't actually vom before 8.30 that is) smile

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 09-Sep-09 07:16:56

Ok so he felt sick, he wasn't sick. He is well enough to be watching tv then he is well enough to go to school. I think we have all felt sick at some point that doesn't mean a bug just a sick feeling...iyswim?

I would send him in and if he is sick the school will contact you.

I would make sure he has eaten and drunk at least an hour before leaving and then if it has all stayed down then I would send.

Ds has had odd stomach ache and a bit of a temp since Sunday but he is still at school, it's so hard when they are a bit under the weather but if you arn't careful they end up missing the whole winter.

HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 07:21:30

Hmm thankyou.

I'd be anxious about sending him with a temp so possibly we have different perspectives on this though!! smile

Main thing is I don't want him to give anything to the whole class iyswim.

LuluMaman Wed 09-Sep-09 07:27:24

I think you need to send him to school, especially if he had attendance issues last year.

a couple of times DS has not felt great in the morning and has been ok by 9,so have taken him in a bit late

if they missed school every time they were a bit off colour, they'd never be there !

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 09-Sep-09 07:31:37

Lulu I agree with you there, DS1 was often getting up anf not feeling well etc but he still went to school.

LuluMaman Wed 09-Sep-09 07:33:34

in the absence of sick/diaorrhea/temperature/massive amounts of snot, a child should go to school IMO. often getting to school , a bit of a run in the fresh air and seeing their friends perks them up no end.

HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 07:33:44

Thankyou...Ok, will follow consensus...if he does throw up, at least he'll do it somewhere else!!!

And they can't complain at me for sending him because they made such a fuss about keeping him off last year. Win-win I think...although they may of course radically change their stance and have a go at me anyway...

Northernlurker Wed 09-Sep-09 07:40:20

My children have to have vomited in the last 6 hours before I won't send them to school. I won't send an ill child but have sent a child who just needed a bit of calpol to perk them up. I go to work when I have a cold etc so why wouldn't I send them to school? It sounds a little to me (correct me if I'm wrong) that because of your own fears of illness you have kept him away from school quite a bit? As long as he's well enough to do some useful work then send him and if he gets worse school can ring you. Usually when they are with their friends you find they feel better anyway.

I know this isn't a popular opinion but quite frankly I don't give a stuff about the rest of the class. Any bug my children have undoubtedly emanated from them anyway so I just look at the state of the child in front of me, rather than worrying what might or might not brewing.

purepurple Wed 09-Sep-09 07:46:22

Another one whose child has to be really ill before I keep them off school.
I think you need to send him. If he realises that he just has to say "I feel sick" to get a day off school, then you are in for serious problems.
I even sent DD back to school after she had a tooth extracted, with a note excusing her from PE. She was fine.
And I don't care about the rest of the class either.

Northernlurker Wed 09-Sep-09 07:56:56

<<embraces purepurple>>

<<discreetly washes hands just in case>>


cory Wed 09-Sep-09 09:42:05

The thing about feeling sick is, it can or it cannot be due to a bug. Tiredness, nerves and a number of other things can also make you feel sick. So I would send a non-vomiting child off.

HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 09:49:21

Well, he's gone in saying he felt fine so hopefully that's the end of it.

NorthernLurker I'm afraid you're completely wrong. I've only not sent him when he was either quite ill, had vommed in the last 48 hours (school policy) or I thought he was infectious. If I had kept him off due to my OWN fear of illness he wouldn't go at all.

I am actually very opposed to the 'not caring about the rest of the class' standpoint. I think it's utterly selfish, sorry sad

HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 09:52:18

Although I am sure you are very nice people,

PortAndLemon Wed 09-Sep-09 10:07:16

Northernlurker, does your school not have a policy of 24-48 hour exclusion after diarrhoea or vomiting? I thought that was pretty much standard.

DS was pale and felt sick this morning but perked up after breakfast so I reckoned it was just hunger and low blood sugar.

HelenaBonhamCarter Wed 09-Sep-09 10:16:35

Hope so Port.

I'm also curious about these 'serious problems' I am to expect if ds realises he doesn't have to go to school if he feels sick.

I trust him better than that, and he trusts me - I hated school, and genuinely felt sick about it so missed quite a lot - which my mother almost went insane over.

If I had had faith in her to listen to my actual concerns and not care more about what the school wanted, and how she looked to them, I might have recovered from my fears much faster and not missed so much school...just something to consider there.

Ds knows he can tell me if he is worried about school. He actually likes going, and today was keen to reassure me he was fine.

PortAndLemon Wed 09-Sep-09 10:25:37

Yes, DS loves school, so when he initially said he didn't feel well enough to go I knew he was being genuine. But he fell asleep and missed dinner last night so I thought there was a good chance he was just hungry. I remember I had trouble distinguishing between the two sensations as a child (used to just eat something and see whether I felt better or worse afterwards). He pinked up and atarted causing trouble livened up once he'd eaten so I'm reasonably sure that's all it was with him too.

cory Wed 09-Sep-09 11:42:58

Helena, it depends from child to child whether they develop a habit of staying away from school whenever they feel a bit queasy/nervous or they don't. Just as some children get into a habit of making a big fuss every time they graze their knee. Then again, other children get suspected of making a fuss when there is actually something genuinely wrong and they should have been listened to. It all depends on the child.

My dd has chronic medical problems and has had bad experiences from a previous school, so lots of reasons to feel uncomfortable at the start of the days. She wants to attend school on one level, because she wants to go to university and make a career for herself. On another level she doesn't want to go, because she usually feels unwell in the mornings. What she needs as an individual is for me to reassure her that it is actually ok to go in even if you are feeling a bit grotty/have a headache/sore throat/bad back; she can always get them to ring me if it turns into something nasty. If I hadn't been able to give her this reassurance, she would probably have dropped out of school long ago. As, realistically speaking, she probably will feel ill or in pain on most mornings of her life, she needs a coping mechanism.

It's all about knowing your own child, what their problem is likely to be and what their particular needs are.

If you know your ds well enough to know that he is unlikely to be exaggerating any symptoms, then I'd listen to him. But am glad to hear that it worked out well today.

Northernlurker Wed 09-Sep-09 18:18:08

Yes I am a very nice person - if some what spartan grin

Regarding school's policy - quite honestly I don't know what it is, can't ever remember it being pushed as an issue. My personal policy is that a one off vomiting can be caused by many things and if the child is well I'm not going to wait 48 hours to be sure of that! I have no family support for childcare and dh is away a lot. Whilst a sick child comes before my work every time I could not justify to myself sitting at home with a perfectly well child to fulfill a policy that has not been advertised to me. D&V is a different case though, is clear evidence of a transmittable bug and the one and only time my girls have had d&v as opposed to just v I did of course keep them off for a suitable time.

WinkyWinkola Wed 09-Sep-09 18:28:13

What's a suitable time though?

My DS vomited three times today at about 2pm. I went to collect him after I heard this and got him home. He had a big glass of water and a digestive and two crackers. He says he's absolutely fine now and was haring about for the rest of the afternoon in his usual loony fashion.

Should I send him back to school tomorrow? Or will they send me away with a flea in my ear as he vomited less than 24 hours before.

CarGirl Wed 09-Sep-09 18:32:59

Some children just throw up at the slightest sing of illness such had headach or a bit of a temperature. If I had one of them then I would be sending them in provided it had been several hours since the episode (tends to be a one off). Completely diff to a d&v type vomitting bug I guess it's just knowing your child.

Fortunately this was never any of my dc, just my best friends, she'd throw up and then within an hour felt absolutely great again and was raring to go!

They keep trying to send dd2 hope with tummy ache (they're frightened she has d&v). I've trained the staff to ask her if her ears hurt, 99.9% of the time they do and it's just her glands in her stomache hurting, she's never sick with it though. If she didn't go when her tummy hurt I reckon her attendance would be 60-70%!

Northernlurker Wed 09-Sep-09 18:39:19

Yes all mine have been ones for vomiting with temperatures and I would certainly send a child in tomorrow in the circumstances you describe Winky.

Elibean Wed 09-Sep-09 19:01:40

dd1 vomited, then had a fever for 12 hours, then was fine. It was totally and utterly transmissable, though no diarrhoea involved at all.

But a one-off vom with no fever/illess or diarrhoea in a kid who vomits easily, agree can be down to anything. dd1 hasn't ever vomited before (aged nearly 6 now) so no way would I have sent her in without being sure.

HBC, hope your ds is ok - think you've done the right thing, and also agree about not infecting whole of class with nasties. Colds yes, flu or gastro bugs, no.

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