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DS2's 'special' chair arrived this afternoon and i need kick up the arse :(

(10 Posts)
whitenoise Fri 28-Aug-09 18:39:31

Ok so i have been awol from MN for a wee while (was mumofmonsters)but i could do with a (gentle) kick up the bum please.

DS2 is currently undergoing lots of appointments to figure out why he has the "issues" that he has. We recently saw an OT who said he definitely has sensory issues esp with regards to noise but also has poor core stability. She recommended a chair and had to justify it at a meeting -long story short- he HAS to have this chair for home at least for now (with a view to looking at getting a similar one for school) as it will help him get some core strength which will, hopefully, in turn help his balance (possible dyspraxia type problems-yet to have the yes or no from that appt) and they can then deal with his poor motor skills.

SOrry, am rambling, basically i am just feeling very very sad that although everything i have fought for for him has so far proved that i have been right, that now my little boy will be obviously "different" and his lack of understanding will mean that there is a bigger than normal chance he will be picked on when he starts school in a fortnight.

I know i should have posted this in special needs but tbh i don't know where to put it and i don't need that kind of kick up the arse-i know that people have it much harder.

TotalChaos Fri 28-Aug-09 18:45:39

whitenoise - it's hard getting your head round your kid ending up seeing specialists etc for these sort of issues. It's OK to wibble. In my experience of receptive language delay - young kids are surprisingly tolerant - funnily I often find it's the kids who are very articulate for their age that DS gets on with best, I guess because they are confident enough with their own speech they can adapt if they aren't being understood immediately. Also - I would be amazed if there isn't at least another kid in the class with similar problems - statistic is about 1 in 10 kids have some form of speech or language problem.

TotalChaos Fri 28-Aug-09 18:46:38

btw there is a thread on SN for parents of kids about to start school, if you feel up to posting on there noone will kick you up the arse.

whitenoise Fri 28-Aug-09 18:48:37

I feel like i have worked so hard to get his speech and language to a level where others can understand him that i forgot all about everything else that came naturally to DS1 and 3. There were a few ion his nursery class with speech problems, but its the wibbles (good word) about what's next and what do i do to help him and how do i normalise it for my other children while not being seen to give DS2 extra attention.

whitenoise Fri 28-Aug-09 18:51:40

but is it a "special need" or what? We haven't had any kind of formal diagnosis yet as they are all meeting to collaborate in new year. I don't know what the hell is going on!

TotalChaos Fri 28-Aug-09 18:59:24

as to what next - do you have any decent SALT input to guide you on this? Sort of things I was advised to work on around the same age:-

1. sequences (v. simple 2 part sequences, with pictures - so you get one picture with boy throwing ball, and the next with a broken window).

2. simple question words, such as who/what/where/what doing.

3. time - talk about what you've done that day, helpful if you've got photos too to jog the memory, to help build up a sense of time

4. adjectives.

Some of this you can try and turn into a game - so possibly that can work if it's presented as a game for all the kids to do - e.g. I spy with my little eye, something that's big/blue/to eat.

TotalChaos Fri 28-Aug-09 19:04:01

"is it a special need"? - do you mean in official terms or in terms of MN SN board? If it's in terms of SN board then there's quite a mixture of people - some parents to kids with language delay and no other diagnosis, others where language delay is part of another diagnosis such as GDD or ASD.

TotalChaos Fri 28-Aug-09 19:07:53

oh also I think playing simple board type games is helpful at teaching social skills, turn taking etc. I know it can feel daunting trying to explain rules etc, but if you start off simple - something like hungry hippos, or a basic game like the Orchard Toys type ones, you should find something suitable.

yomellamoHelly Fri 28-Aug-09 19:54:55

I remember getting ds's trial specialist chair. Was horrified at how big it was and how complicated. Even now I have days where I can't quite believe he needs the level of support it's set up to provide. So I can understand where you're coming from.
I would have thought though that having a chair would support him enough so that he can concentrate on the other skills he is lacking. You'll also be able to sit in front of him and interact with him better rather than being behind him supporting him. (Should help with speech for example because you'll be able to see if he's trying to move his lips/mouth to make the sound you're trying to get from him and encourage him accordingly.) When he's fully supported it could be he copes with noise for example better because he can focus better on what is actually going on.
My understanding is that it won't actually give them core strength - you'd need exercises for that - but will give them the feeling of where everything should be.
However I would have thought if you can discount core stability then you'll have a better picture of where/how he needs help.
FWIW ds will have a Smirthwaite chair when he starts in a couple of weeks which is fairly similar in design to an ordinary chair but comes with lots of accessories so your child gets the support they need. I was absolutely definite that he needed this chair as in the one we have in our home even at its lowest setting he would be slightly too high for the tables they have and set back by the tray's width from the table and thus would never integrate properly (despite what they said). Our ds will also have someone looking out for him thanks to an inclusion grant and when bullying came up with my eldest I found the staff were excellent at nipping it in the bud before it became anything more. I would expect them to be especially aware of it with a child such as my son.
Hope things settle for you.

whitenoise Sat 29-Aug-09 11:08:26

thank you

Just need time for it all to settle in my mind a bit i think. It's the help i have fought for for 4 years against what the HVs said and even lost a few family members in the process. It's nice to know i was right and that finally things are starting to be put in place to help him but i guess actually physically having something in the house has made more REAL. DOes that make sense.

TC, we have a few of the orchard games already, will be interesting to see how we get ion with them when he is sat in his chair

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