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Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you have any serious medical concerns, we would urge you to consult your GP.

anyones ds been circumsiced?

(29 Posts)
chimchar Thu 21-May-09 16:36:35

my ds, age 8 has just been diagnosed with bxo
(Balanitis xerotica obliterans) and we've just been told that he needs to be circumsiced. i'm devastated...i don't know why...i'm trying to be positive..it needs doing, but obviously will involve going under GA and a week or two of soreness and recovery. i could cry..he's already had to have surgery twice before and it was just awful waiting for him to come around afterwards...

anyone got any experience or reassurance?

sad

chimchar Thu 21-May-09 16:52:46

anyone?

paddyclamp Thu 21-May-09 21:21:31

No experience but i'd be devastated too..might be worth getting a 2nd opinion cos i've read on hear that circumcision is very rarely essential?

thisisyesterday Thu 21-May-09 21:24:13

agree with paddyclamp, someone posted a really good link a while back on why circumcision is almost never necessary. there are other treatments that can be tried first.

stitchtime Thu 21-May-09 21:33:22

look, i just want to reassure you that it will be ok. and i dont want ot be flamed for it. i wrote a long message for you. but i dont want to flamed, etc. i dont have the emotional strentgh right now to deal with the crap that will be thrown at me, if i try to reassure you properly.

kitbit Thu 21-May-09 21:36:39

my dh had this when he was 5 ish. He says it was not fun at the time obviously, but he recovered very quickly. This was 35 years ago and medicine has changed a lot, including obivously procedures, methods and reasons for doing things or not - but if it comes to it and he has it done dh says it "was OK".

Not sure how reassuring that is, but at least it's a person who has been through it! Hope all is OK for your ds x

chimchar Fri 22-May-09 08:39:07

thanks everyone.

feeling a bit better about it this morning....i know nothing about it really, but two consultants checked him yesterday..its something they don't seem to do lightly, and tmi, but the top of his willy is almost "fused" together...no room for movement at all...only a teeny tiny hole to wee out of. sad i can't see what else could be done tbh, but i will read up on alternatives...

stitchtime, thanks for your message. i'm interested in what you have to say, but i'm guessing that it may be that your experience is because of religious/cultural reasons, and i know that it will get flaming! lol. if you'd like to message me privatly, that would be fine.

i just want someone tbh who has experienced it first hand to tell me what to expect so i can prepare my little lad...

ConstantlyCooking Fri 22-May-09 08:48:55

My DS was circumsized aged 5 because his foreskin was too tight and he kept getting infections under it. He was absolutely fine. When he came round he got up for a wee and exclaimed "I look just like A and B" (a Muslim and Jewish boy in his class.) He had very little soreness (make sure there are no seams in underpants) and was back to normal very quickly (within days).
We had explained the op to him saying it would stop the infections. He had been crying everytime he weed (sp?), so agreed that being sore a few days was worthwhile if it meant never having that again.
I bought him a couple of DVDs to watch and made a nice fuss of him at home for a few days.
That was 8 years ago and he has not had any problems with it since (either physical or emotional). I think living in a multi-cultural area helps as there are lots of circumsized boys at school. HTH

chimchar Fri 22-May-09 08:51:51

thanks constantly....thats great to know.

everyone who has had it done is getting on a bit now, lol....

glad it was ok for your ds.

IcantbelieveImForty Fri 22-May-09 17:14:15

My DH had it done for similar reasons & feels that a not very good job was done (re scarring I think)

If you aren't keen, are there other options you could try ? Again, this was about 30 odd years ago.

thisisyesterday Fri 22-May-09 19:08:41

chimchar, have they offered any of the alternatives to a full circumcision?
I know there are techniques they use now that just involve making a small cut to loosen the foreskin, rather than complete removal

chimchar Sat 23-May-09 09:50:21

thisisyesterday...no, no alternative was given the dr said that some people are offered treatment with steroid cream to start to loosen the skin, but she feels that my ds has no chance with that...he has really bad scar tissue which is thick and stuck in place....

his willy looks completely normal, its only noticable when you try to pull his skin back, and when hehas a wee...it balloons up completely.

i'd love an alternative, but i don't think that anything else will fix it. the dr did say this only affects 0.6 % of the population, so fairly unusual i'm guessing?

thanks for your words though....

smile

BonsoirAnna Sat 23-May-09 09:55:04

Both my DSSs are circumcised, as is my DP, and my father and practically every male relative I can think of... No big deal!

chimchar Sat 23-May-09 10:00:45

thanks anna...how old were your boys when they had it done? how long was their recovery...

tbh, once its done, its done..i'm not too worried about that, its the actual procedure i'm flapping about for the moment...

BonsoirAnna Sat 23-May-09 10:02:50

They were babies (Jewish, so it was done when they were very small) and I wasn't around. All the Jewish (and part-Jewish) little boys I know have had it done and it really isn't a big deal before puberty.

Don't wait until after puberty. I met one boy who had it done in his teens and it wasn't pleasant at all.

ComeOVeneer Sat 23-May-09 10:04:22

Anna there is no such thing as a "part jewish" boy, either you are or you aren't!

BonsoirAnna Sat 23-May-09 10:06:07

CoV - I agree with you smile. I am talking about boys with Jewish fathers and non-Jewish mothers who get circumcised to appease the father's family smile

chimchar Sat 23-May-09 10:13:25

ok....thanks. my ds is 8 1/2 years.

do you know the stupid thing?

i'm worrying that he'll have to have 2 weeks of school so he doesn't get bumped or anything, and he doesn't want to tell his friends why.... if he was having an op on his finger or something, he'd be able to bask in the limelight and have lots of sympathy and tell all his friends about it...instead, by his choice, he'll slope off, and go back to school without so much as a get well card...am i being daft or what?

ComeOVeneer Sat 23-May-09 10:14:48

Exactly the reason why ds didn't get circumsised when he was born!

stitchtime Sat 23-May-09 16:12:06

okie, here goes
we have always known that our sons would need to have this done, as it is ther religious thing to do, we're muslims. and have always considered uncircumcised willies to be rather ewwww.... but, when it came down to it, neither dh, nor myself, could get our acts together enough to organise ds. we would just chicken out. then, when he was 14 months old, dfather arranged it in saudiarabia. it was done under general anesthetic, because the surgeon, a consultant, explained that it would be easier for both hte child, and the surgeon that way, and he had an epidural for the pain afterwards. it cost a fortune, but was worth it for my peace of mind. i remember before this , going round, demanding to be shown where it told me i had to chop bits of my ds. blush
we were told that ds would be a bit unwell for a few days. the reality was, that he had th eop at ten am, was home by four, and running round like a looney by six. his usual self really.
i have known a boy who had it done aged 11, at the beginning of the summer holidays, and he was laid up for the rest of the summer holidays. another who was 12, and had to have it done for medical reasons, like your son. he was off school for a few weeks, and i dont remember anyone making fun of him.quite theopposite actually.

It will be fine, barring the usual risks of any surgery. for example, most piercings are fine, but, there is always a risk of infection and its complications. iyswim

stitchtime Sat 23-May-09 16:14:32

sorry, that should read, that i have always considered them to be ewwww, in a completely individual, eccentric, way. my pov entirely. not a generalisation. just me. in the same way that i think black pudding is ewww, or cockroaches are ewwww. or... well, other things that people have an irrational dislike off. its irrational.

chimchar Sat 23-May-09 19:34:33

lol stitch...i understand! grin

i really appreciate you taking the time to tell me about your dss. thanks.

Furball Sat 23-May-09 20:16:38

have a read of this article

It does say there and everywhere else on the net that ballooning is not a reason to circumsise. In fact it says it aids the seperation process.

chimchar Sun 24-May-09 08:13:13

thanks furball...its a really interesting article.

i know that the ballooning can sometimes happen..i've read up on a lot this past 6 months since its been happening!

reading your article, the bit that applies to my ds is the Phimosis section...this is what he has been diagnosed with, and the scar tissue is horrible....

i will continue to read though...thanks again.

MamaMtundu Thu 17-Sep-09 09:01:08

hi Chimchar
I realise this is an old post, but maybe you still have a watch on it??
I've just been searching old posts to find anyone with experience of BXO. My ds was diagnosed earlier this year. Pediatric Surgery Consultant has recommended a circumcision, but due to our reluctance to proceed we are currently waiting on a referral to Pediatric Urology consultant. (not sure why initial referral ended up in surgery rather than urology clinic in the first place, but hey)
Done lots of reading and seen mentions of partial circumcisions, carbon dioxide laser treatment but nothing like that seems to be on offer here and I'm not even sure if they are viable treatments. We've been told that partial circumcisions cause more scarring, so not a solution and the consultant wasn't aware of carbon dioxide laser treatment, although he has raised our query in his referral letter to next consultant. Deep down I think we're going to have to accept that circuncision is the best option for ds, but we're really upset about it and about putting him thru surgery/recovery etc

If you are still around I was wondering how you and your ds got on in the end and if you have any advice for us?

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