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DD continuously tired, so tired she is struggling

(11 Posts)
Quattrocento Mon 06-Oct-08 19:14:33

DD is 10. She does a lot of stuff. School is very busy and she has a lot of homework. Really quite a lot of it. On top of that she has piano practice, netball practices, hockey practices and tennis club.

We (all) decided to enter her for the 11+ at a local state grammar school to see whether she liked it etc. So she's been doing a practice paper every weekend as well. Oh and although she goes to bed earlyish she stays up a bit too late reading.

She's been complaining of chronic, chronic fatigue, crying etc about how tired she is. We took her to the doctors and he said there was nothing wrong with her but she did have a skin rash that he thought might be caused by her being run down.

I'm not seriously worried but I am worried. What can we do to ease the load off DD? How can we make her all sparkly and bright eyed and bushy tailed again? What can we cut out?

Dropdeadfred Mon 06-Oct-08 19:23:56

does she eat well?
does she need vitamins? did the GP take blood to check for anaemia?

does she still enjoy ALL the extra activities?

3littlefrogs Mon 06-Oct-08 19:27:03

You really need to put some activiries on hold until after the exams. I would cut out the hocky and tennis for a start - she can take them up again when the exams are over - it is only another month or so.

I have a 10 yr old dd and i am in the same boat. Some activities just HAVE to be put on hold. She is telling you she is exhausted - she will be too tired and ill to take the 11plus if she carries on.

dustystar Mon 06-Oct-08 19:27:08

Maybe she's taken on too much - if i'm stressed I always feel exhausted. My dd has a habit of reading too late as well. We have had to make it a rule that the lights go out at **pm or she'd read for hours.

Quattrocento Mon 06-Oct-08 19:31:59

Yes, sorry should have said. DD bursts into tears anytime we suggest dropping one of the sports ...

We can't realistically drop any of the sports other than tennis without a BIG drama, because then she'll be out of the school teams (I know this is not a big deal but to DD this would be A Very Bad Thing).

DH did DD's maths homework this weekend. He seemed to enjoy it, but I don't feel it's a sound operating model.

She eats well and her diet is good I think. No the GP didn't test properly for anything (Grrr).

3littlefrogs Mon 06-Oct-08 19:36:01

You are the parent, she is the child. You need to be responsible and safeguard her health. Are you always going to let her make the choices? If so, you have a very hard 6 or 7 years ahead of you grin. (I have teenagers too).

Alternatively, perhaps you need to consider whether you really want to put her through the 11 plus. Which is more important to you/her?

roisin Mon 06-Oct-08 19:43:29

Is she in yr6? When is the 11+

If the 11+ is important to you, and I understand it might be, then I would ease off on everything else for a short time, especially as she's felling so much pressure. To the extent of taking a break from piano and completely opting out of extra sporting practices and clubs.

Then use the extra time you've gained for relaxing activities - go to a cafe and have a "grown-up" time together, or go to the cinema, do some baking together, or bike rides, or hiking, or painting ... whatever! Something non-competitive and relaxing.

WowOoo Mon 06-Oct-08 19:45:47

Have to agree with 3 littlefrogs.
I remember having sports cancelled because I had music exams and I was so upset, but only for a month or two until I passed my exams and got back into sports again.

Poor tired thing. Somethings gotta give and you don't want it to be her health. Drop the tennis. Set a limit to reading times at nihgt and maybe suggest she listen to some relaxing music or something instead. Earlier bedtimes so that she can read and relax a bit more?
Good luck, am sure she will do well in 11 plus and will all be fine!!

Quattrocento Mon 06-Oct-08 20:29:08

Thanks lots all of you.

Yes will drop tennis and brave the tears until the exam over (it's not until December). I wish I hadn't suggested it actually because she probably will decide not to go if she gets in - in which case it is torture for nothing really.

Have broached the subject of early nights and multivitamins. The multivitamins were well (or at least neutrally) received. The earlier nights were met with a mutinous look but I will enforce our new lights out at 9pm rule.

Quattrocento Mon 06-Oct-08 20:29:08

Thanks lots all of you.

Yes will drop tennis and brave the tears until the exam over (it's not until December). I wish I hadn't suggested it actually because she probably will decide not to go if she gets in - in which case it is torture for nothing really.

Have broached the subject of early nights and multivitamins. The multivitamins were well (or at least neutrally) received. The earlier nights were met with a mutinous look but I will enforce our new lights out at 9pm rule.

3littlefrogs Mon 06-Oct-08 21:07:16

I have just asked dd her opinion. She said:

(to your dd)
"Decide your priorities. Is the choice of school the most important thing, and is the 11 plus essential? If so, then everything else is secondary. That goes at the top of the list - it will all be over by December anyway. Then, list the other activities in order of importance - make a list of pros and cons for each one. Drop one or two at the bottom of the list. There will be LOADS of opportunities for all kinds of sport in year 7. The chance to do the 11 plus will not come again. Music is the only thing that might not be a good idea to give up."

HTH

dd is very clear about her priorities grin - and she is sports and music mad.

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