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Worst Mum Ever, I hurt my baby.

(58 Posts)
bluenosebear Tue 09-Sep-08 15:33:11

Oh my god. Think I need your wise opinions on this. I did a BAD BAD THING. I'm so upset. I needed to nip upstairs to the loo, so I strapped baby into her little rock chair. I heard her start to whinge but she's going through a clingy stage, so I just shouted back to her from the loo. Then her cries started into full blow I'm Not Happy cries, but I had a "problem" so it was a min before I could get to her. On coming back, I found she'd either got out of the straps, or I hadn't done them up and she had tried to get out the chair. She was bent over one of the arms backwards at the small of her back, screaming.

I want to die. I grabbed her quick, and she stopped crying as soon as I picked her up. Should I take her to the docs for a check over? I was so damn stupid and careless, I'm distraught I hurt my baby girl, and I feel like I should give her to social services or something.

YES I KNOW I WAS STUPID. I could never feel worse than I do right now. Baby is fine, a little tired after her ordeal.

But should I take her to the docs? Will they take her away from me for being dumb?

mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime Tue 09-Sep-08 15:35:04

Did she fall, or just get 'tangled' in the chair?

bluenosebear Tue 09-Sep-08 15:35:46

No she didn't fall out, just bent over the arm backwards with no way to move back or forward

EffiePerine Tue 09-Sep-08 15:36:59

How old is she? Is she using her arm OK?

Don't beat yourself up over this, we all do similar things at some point

Tortington Tue 09-Sep-08 15:37:37

its one of those things calm down and stop being so hysterical

SoupDragon Tue 09-Sep-08 15:37:52

You didn't hurt her. I would say that 99% of mumsnetters have done the same or similar things. These things happen, you learn from them and your baby won't remember.
<<pats Bluenosebear sympathetically on the arm>>

gothicmama Tue 09-Sep-08 15:37:55

has she got a mark on her back it sounds as if she was crying from shock more than pain especially if she stopped when you picked her up, she will be fine as will you is she your first

mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime Tue 09-Sep-08 15:38:25

Sounds like she got stressed because she couldn't move. I would only worry if she had fallen and bumped herself personally.
We have all done things which we regret as parents, I wouldn't beat yourself up about it.
Personally I lay baby on the floor, as my dear old mum used to say 'babies can't fall off the floor' or just take little one with you.
You don't say how old she is?

EffiePerine Tue 09-Sep-08 15:38:30

would it help if I gave a run-down on DS's injuries in the 3 weeks he was in the sole care of DH and I (CM on hols?). One trip to A&E, one fall down concrete steps, numerous scrapes and bruises...

bluenosebear Tue 09-Sep-08 15:38:55

she is 7 months. Sorry to sound misleading, she wasnt bent over her arm, she was backwards over the arm of the rocker. she seems fine, smiley and a little clingy.

i want to die.

LittleMyDancing Tue 09-Sep-08 15:39:00

Don't panic! Similar things have happened to all of us at one time or another. It sounds like she's fine, probably more scared than anything else, and she will get over it really quickly.

You didn't harm her, you did everything you should have done, but sometimes accidents happen. You're not a bad mother.

I remember feeling exactly the same when I cut DS' nails when he was a couple of weeks old, and accidentally nicked him and it bled. I felt like the worst mother in the world, but now I look back and realise I had it so out of proportion!

Noone is going to take her away. You need a cup of tea and a biscuit, and to breathe deeply.

Hulababy Tue 09-Sep-08 15:39:47

If she has calmed down and isn;t crying I think she i s more than likely fine.

Calm down a bit - I know it can be a shock the first time your baby hurts themslves. You were not to blame at all. Go and have a cuddle with her and relax.

EffiePerine Tue 09-Sep-08 15:39:50

she'll be fine

stil remember the 'thump' when DS fell off the bed for the first time...

littlelapin Tue 09-Sep-08 15:39:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jimmyjammys Tue 09-Sep-08 15:40:09

the main thing is that she is fine, don't worry you did not do a bad thing - you did a sensible thing, you put the baby in a safe and comfortable place. I had DS in the pram at 11 months strapped in - somehow he managed to get out of the straps and jump out - i had my back turned to him and only heard a thump and him crying. I nearly died when I turned to see him on the ground. I thought i had forgotten to strap him in but the straps were still connected. He could have died if he had fallen the wrong way - i don't know how he escaped injury but he was fine. It still hasn't stopped him trying to jump out of his highchair, pram or carseat at every available opportunity and it makes me ill everytime i think about it but he is a toddler now and he is going to get into worse things so I have to prepare myself!

mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime Tue 09-Sep-08 15:40:20

Yes, put the kettle on!

ComeOVeneer Tue 09-Sep-08 15:40:41

She was crying because she was uncomfortable and couldn't right herself. You need to clm done, you aren't a bad mum and you didn't hurt your baby. SS is rather ott tbh. Children have this uncanny knack of getting themselves into these situations, and I'm afraid this is likely to be the first of many shocks they will give you.

Just wait until your 3 yr old decides to suck on an electric cable pulled out of older siblings skalextrix (whilst plugged into the wall)! grin

bluenosebear Tue 09-Sep-08 15:41:11

wow sorry. I had not realised I was coming across to panicky. Its just my first accident with my first babe and I went inti full out freakout mode.

EffiePerine Tue 09-Sep-08 15:41:29

jimmyjammys: DS (also a kamikaze jumper) climned to the top of the bookcase for the forst time the other week. He's not yet 2... brace yourself wink

littlelapin Tue 09-Sep-08 15:41:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blu Tue 09-Sep-08 15:42:16

Firstly: If she can move freely and stopped crying when you picked her up - and you can see no swelling or bruising SHE IS OK!

Secondly - Don't be so hard on yourself - you did take steps to secure her safely (the rocker was on the ground, I take it - not a table or anything?), it was an accident, or she has developed and can now wriggle free - so you know what to do next time!

Thirdly - good grief, no - SS will not be the slightest bit interested in a bit of a mishap that has resulted in a non-injured baby!

Have a cup of tea - all's well that ends well.

ComeOVeneer Tue 09-Sep-08 15:43:19

bluenose, it is totlly understandable. My first incident was when I tripped and fell downstairs dropping dd (then 6 months) who bounced of a raidiator. I was a wreck (had to be given a sedative) she however was right as rain. You will be amazed how tough they actually are.

mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime Tue 09-Sep-08 15:43:20

Ds fell and cut his head open at age 2, big shock for me with blood everywhere..lots more to come!

Aitch Tue 09-Sep-08 15:44:30

this is a learning experience for you... babies almost always make their greatest developmental leaps when your back is turned. wink

<grimly remembers dd simultaneously learning to crawl/falling off bed>

Thomcat Tue 09-Sep-08 15:45:58

Blimey, you do need to calm yourself down. I mean I know it's not nice but blimey, you strapped her in went tot he loo and she got herself in a tangle. It's over, no harm done. A lot worse may well happen over the course of both your lives and if this is how you react to a non harmful tangle - well you're in trouble. Seriously, chill.
My 11 month old just broke her arm. no idea how she did it. Felt bad that I didn't take her to A&E for 3 days but not that she had broken her arm. No idea how she did it. I'm not a bad mum, not at all, it's just life, you can't bubble warp them up and hand them over to SS if they get a bruise.
Have a cup of tea and then go and play and cuddle her and don't worry so much.

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