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I received this txt from my dd on Friday - is she the most self-contained 11 year old around?

(287 Posts)
growingdd Sun 24-Aug-08 10:38:43

I was in work, she was at home with her dad.

"I've started my p**d [her asterisks].yes I'm sure.No I haven't told Dad and I don't intend to.Yes I've put a pad on.No I don't feel scared or worried.Yes everything is under control, so there is no need to ask any questions!!Please carry on with your work and don't worry about me!!No I don't really want to talk about it when you get home, so just tell me which pads to use and you keep on buying them for me and everything will be fine!!OK!!"

I texted her back saying we would have a chat when I got home, she said "I'll pass on the chat thanks".

I haven't actually seen her for more then 5 minutes since she texted, as she has been out, I've been out etc.

She is just so grown up - I can't believe it!

We will be chatting about it, though...

(changed my name as she reads mn sometimes and would be mortified to see this here)

TrinityRhino Sun 24-Aug-08 10:41:26

I actually dont think she is grown up
I think she is very rude and iimature
How dare she speak to you like that
She was being sarcastic and unkind
You definitely need to talk to her, not just about the periods

Also how have you not seen her?
She is 11, where has she been?

growingdd Sun 24-Aug-08 10:45:53


You really think she was rude and immature?

Gosh, I really didn't read it like that.

If you want the (boring) detail as to why I haven't seen her, well,
She was in bed when I got home from work, I went out early on Sat morning, when I got back, she had gone to her friend's for a sleepover, she isn't home yet, although popped home briefly to pick her stuff up yesterday early evening.

Am still shock you think that was bad...

AreyoutherecoditsmeMargaret Sun 24-Aug-08 10:48:03

agree, very rude txt....full of sarcasm and self importance.

how sad u cant see that?

EmmyLou Sun 24-Aug-08 10:48:42

Wow - how very self assured! I wouldn't force a chat if she really is against it though - she's done well communicating so far! I bought a couple of books and gave them to my DD. The Period Book (I think it was this one) was good and answered all those 'logistical' questions too - stuff I had to learn the hard way (like how to avoid at age 13, being stuck in a family friend's bathroom with a HUGE snanitary towel that WOULDN'T flush away and friend's son waiting outside door to use loo and no bin...etc).

The fact that she texted you is good too - I found out via dirty laundry sad. But DD1 is quite private/secretive and always has been.

LoveMyGirls Sun 24-Aug-08 10:49:50

I don't think she was being rude either, just txt's are abrupt and I'm not suprised she doesn't want to talk about it really. I think she's handled it quite well, she knew what to do, she must have had a chat with you before about this to know what to do etc?

TrinityRhino Sun 24-Aug-08 10:50:20

very sad that you can't see that

it is dripping with sarcasm and belittling of you

and 'I'll pass on the chat thanks'

soooo sarcastic and flippant

its unbeleivable

AreyoutherecoditsmeMargaret Sun 24-Aug-08 10:50:47

i also think she sounds peed off you were at work and not there.

Helennn Sun 24-Aug-08 10:52:55

First impression is that she is very embarassed if she can't even type the word period. And, what time do you get home from work if it is after your dd has gone to bed, then you are gone before she is awake in the morning, then she is not there later on - for an 11 year old it sounds like you don't see each other much. Are you sure she is self-contained, not just wishing you were around a bit more?

TrinityRhino Sun 24-Aug-08 10:53:07

me too, with all the exclamation marks

please carry on with your work and dont orry about me!!!

is sarcastic and therefore means she feels you wouldn't be anyway

you need to talk to her

MrsFearnleyWhittingstall Sun 24-Aug-08 10:53:11

Maybe she was embarrased and felt by been a bit flippant it wouldn't show.
I can remember how mortified I was having to tell my mum I had started and having "THE CHAT" .
I don't think she was been rude at all just more getting it over and done with at telling Mum .

SlartyBartFast Sun 24-Aug-08 10:53:13

i dont think sheis being rude, she is tryign to be grown up and mature and after all texting can portray things differently that how you mean it.
pass on the chat, presumably was said with humour

growingdd Sun 24-Aug-08 10:53:37

Well I'm not going to start defending my dd - I know her, you don't, so I know she wasn't being rude, sarcastic and flippant.

And thank you to Lovemygirls who can see that we must have talked about it for her to know what to do.

I will talk to her, but won't force a heavy discussion if she doesn't want one.

TrinityRhino Sun 24-Aug-08 10:53:59

yes, it is NOT mature to not even be ab;e to type the word period

I mean, isn't that obvious to you

growingdd Sun 24-Aug-08 10:54:23

sorry, my last post was aimed at trinity, not those who are being supportive

SlartyBartFast Sun 24-Aug-08 10:54:59

haVE YOU HAD a chat already?>>>
gulp,, cos i havent with mine, did show her a book and the school did the rest - although she did ask me some questions and i did say feel free to ask.
i spose she is embarrassed.
i didnt have to tell mine, she told me she knew... blush i didnt know what was going on

Romy7 Sun 24-Aug-08 10:55:00

no no no no... she was just a teensy bit embarassed, knew she had to tell her mum, and the easiest way to get it over with was by text... i'm sure she was mortified, probably does really want a chat, but wants to be seen as a big girl who can cope, and knows she might get embarassed. she probably doesn't want the whole biological sex discussion (again?) as she thinks she knows it all already...

i don't think she was rude gdd, but i do think you need to make sure you do have a chat (and a cuddle if she can bear it lol)

i don't think she was rude - i think she was a little bit excited and scared and it came over a bit brief because it was texted. you know how difficult it is to 'read' emotion through text, and you know her best.

enjoy your chat lol.

TrinityRhino Sun 24-Aug-08 10:55:01

ok well good luck

MrsFearnleyWhittingstall Sun 24-Aug-08 10:55:14

We should all remember growing dd is only 11 .Which is early to start a period before we all start flaming her .

charliecat Sun 24-Aug-08 10:55:36

That text sounds like it has came from my friends dd, she is the same age and would write just that sort of thing. Its just the way she IS. Very self assured, almost to the point of rudeness, but im sure she will go far on it.

SlartyBartFast Sun 24-Aug-08 10:55:50

she is trying to be independant

growingdd Sun 24-Aug-08 10:55:52

<sigh> so you think I should punish her for being rude when she gets home? Hmmm that would set up really good associations in her head, wouldn't it?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Sun 24-Aug-08 10:57:13

I didn't see it as rude.

Tbh, it sounded just like the conversation I had with my mum when I started my periods. I was mortified and really didn't want to discuss it with her.

Jacanne Sun 24-Aug-08 10:57:34

I think it depends what kind of relationship the OP has with her daughter - they might have quite a casual, jokey relationship - it could be read like that. The OP might have done a brilliant job preparing her for it - perhaps the OP is a worrier and her dd was trying to reassure her. Who knows, we certainly don't.

growingdd Sun 24-Aug-08 10:57:57

I suppose unless you know my dd, you wouldn't know that's just how she is.

We have had lots of "chats" since she was very small, as well as them having 2 sessions on sex / periods etc at school so I have no worries about her not understanding what's going on.

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