Constantly worrying about children's health!!

[Courtney10891]

Hi,

I gave two sons who are 2 and 3 months. I've always been a bit of a worrier and do overthink everything but it's got so bad and I don't know what to do. I'm constantly worrying about their health and if they catch something that it is stopping me going places And doing things. It's my mil birthday next week and she is having a get together at hers and I'm a nervous wreck. I keep thinking what if someone there has a cold and passes it to my baby and he gets it really bad and it progresses to bronchitis and so on. I know it's normal for mums to worry but surely not this badly? I told myself once baby turned 3 months I would start taking him to sensory classes but now he's 3 months I keep telling myself I'll wait until the weather gets better and there's less colds and germs about. It's really worrying and I have a constantly horrible feeling at the back of my head. I understand children get sick etc but I'm always imagining the worst and it's really starting to get me down. I sound really silly I know but wondered if anybody had any advice xx

[tmh88]

It’s not silly to feel the way you do, so don’t think that, as it’s out of your control nobody wakes up and thinks I want to feel nervous about everything today! I’d see your gp as sounds like anxiety x

[Courtney10891]

Thank you for your kind reply. I know I need to talk to someone. I keep telling myself that's it's normal and it's just part of being a mum but I know that's not the case x

[BlackBlueBell]

It will simmer down when baby is a bit older, you’ll always worry but hopefully not to this extent, it doesn’t sound like anxiety. When dd was a newborn I was OBSESSED with checking her breathing, to the point I was ruining what little sleep I was getting, just as I was about to drift off I’d get up and make sure she was breathing, I’d even go to the point of running all the way downstairs to check when dp had her, I bought a snuza monitor thankfully and I’m a lot better now but still check every now and again. Obviously there’s not a monitor for yours but you can minimise yours triggers, so if someone has a cold, just tell them to stay away from ds completely, or just leave. Make people wash their hands before they touch him, anything to calm your nerves a bit until you’re feeling better.

[Bitofnamechanging]

To me it sounds like your worries are unusual as they are stopping you from doing things. Would a stint of therapy be helpful?

[Courtney10891]

Thanks for your reply. I wish I didn't worry to this extent. I've always been a worrier but since having children it's got so much worse. I know all kids get cold and there's not much we can do about it. Not sure why I always think the worst.

[Oldmum55]

Courtney I used to be exactly like you when my kids were little and spoiled a lot of years when I should have been enjoying them. Now they are older I still occasionally panick but it got easier. I think to a certain extent is normal but when it becomes obsessive then you have a problem and nowadays it's so easy to panick thanks to dr Google! Please speak to somebody maybe the health visitor or nurse and I'm sure they'll be able to help. Just think you are not the only one to feel like that.

[OfDragonsDeep]

I have a 3yo and a 4 month old and I feel exactly the same

[SleeepyyHead]

It's normal to worry but if that worry starts to affect your life then you need to speak to your GP.
Also it's normal for children to get colds etc it's builds up the immune system.

[Courtney10891]

Thank you everybody for your kind replies.
My oldest son is now 30 months and I'm not as worried about him. I used to really worry when he was a baby and constantly be googling sudden death syndrome and all the scary things and totally getting myself worked up but as the months went by and he got bigger I stopped worrying as much. Last year I read this article about a baby that caught bronchitis and sadly passed away and it's just one of those things that just stuck in my head and made me worry ever since. I know babies getting seriously ill with these things aren't common and I tried to remind of that every day but I am struggling. I'm constantly wishing away the days and looking forward to summer which I know isn't healthy. I know that I can't wrap them up in cotton wall for ever and I know that these things will happen and I can't control that it's just scary

[Danigirl02002]

This is me. I stopped my daughter at 1st ballet class as someone has clear conjunctivitis. I started to feel better took her soft play few weeks ago and she got ill and has rash on foot that docs have treated but came back again 😭 i hate how i feel

[Courtney10891]

Hey, awwww I totally understand your worries trust me I do!! To be honest in the last couple months since making this post I’m starting to feel slightly better! Not sure what’s changed but I’ve started to try think differently. Maybe now my baby is a bit older that has something to do with it Aswell. At the moment there is chicken pox going around my sons nursery, if this was two months ago I would be freaking out but I’ve got in to the habit of thinking what will be will be, even though I would like to I can’t keep him away from every sickness and infection there is. They will be fine and I think they are a lot stronger then what we think. I didn’t want to look back on their first years in this world and think we missed out of doing things and having fun because I was scared of them catching a cold or getting sick. I also started to be quite open with what I was thinking and my worries and that helped because people would support me and reassure me that everything will be fine. Honestly though I still have days I’m freaking out but I’m a lot more positive. Please msg me if you need a chat x

[Danigirl02002]

I have been more open as well last few weeks. People are shocked they didnt realise how bad it was. And i was getting better. Like cold etc used freak me out but now i will talk to someone with it and chicken pox etc has never bothered me as i know what it is and what it does with previous kids. Its skin infections i hate. Had a bad experience couple years ago and it has stemed from there. The unkown if you know what i mean. I only had a few friends i talk to but feel like a burden with this x