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Should I just cancel? I'm embarrassed

(38 Posts)
mamamasala Fri 18-Oct-19 11:26:48

Right, so it's my son's birthday tomorrow. He's only 1. I have thrown a party. A shocking 16 out of the 30 invited have pulled out in the last 3 days. I'm so upset and the people coming now aren't really even my friends. They're family friends and more close to my parents. ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE PULLED OUT. It's embarrassing. Disheartening. I've bought food, drink etc. For 30. I've just had enough of shit friends. How do I make this a non embarrassing empty event? Or do I just carry on and hope it's okay?

mamamasala Fri 18-Oct-19 11:28:49

Sorry meant to post in aibu

Goodnightjude1 Fri 18-Oct-19 11:35:25

Carry on! Your son won’t miss the ones that aren’t there. People are shit sometimes and completely dismissive of people’s time and effort. Don’t let it spoil your sons birthday tho. Carry on and enjoy it for him! 💐

whydoesitalwaysrainonmee Fri 18-Oct-19 11:38:49

Yes carry on for your son.
I've had this before when my dd was a bit older; sent out invites to her class and some don't even bother to reply, it's so rude!

Scarydinosaurs Fri 18-Oct-19 11:41:04

Of course you carry on! It really doesn’t matter. You’ll have a lovely time anyway. This is not something to worry over.

AmIThough Fri 18-Oct-19 11:44:19

Definitely do it. He'll have a lovely time (and more cake for you because it doesn't need to be split between so many people wink)

Mrsjayy Fri 18-Oct-19 11:47:11

Just go ahead his birthday is important to you and your family your friends are quite rude to not come but just brush it off and have a nice time anyway

RolytheRhino Fri 18-Oct-19 11:53:23

It'll be fine, no one will know how many were meant to come. We didn't even make a thing of DD's first birthday, just immediate family and very close friends. Maybe don't bother next year and save the stressful parties for when he's older and will actually notice?

0hT00dles Fri 18-Oct-19 11:55:34

Carry on! They'll all dote on him.

My dd1's first birthday was a little gathering of my parents older friends as we were at their overseas apartment. She had a ball. Got loads of cuddles and presents!

Enjoy it

MilesJuppIsMyBitch Fri 18-Oct-19 12:00:27

Sorry OP, that's shit. thanks

Have a cry now, make a cup of tea, drink it, then carry on as planned. You can still have a lovely day.

Pa55thegin Fri 18-Oct-19 12:07:52

Had my sons party recently with his reception school friends, out of 35 invited only 8 showed up!

Some cancelled and some just didn't show up (no call or text beforehand) I was furious but my son had a fab time and thats all that mattered!

(And we were eating cake for the next week or so!)

NuffingChora Fri 18-Oct-19 12:10:35

I had this earlier this year. My husband went to huge lengths to arrange a surprise birthday night out for me with my closest friends, including booking a 5* hotel all paid for for those coming from far away to stay, then on the Sunday a party for our daughter turning 3. Bearing in mind that I hadn’t celebrated my birthday in 8 years, and I mean at all, after the last time I tried crashed and burned in a similar manner, and also I was a month away from giving birth to our second child, had a horrible time with our first, and DH was really keen to give me a lovely positive memory before the sh*t potentially hit the fan again. They all knew this.

Well, they all cancelled bar two, leading to the night out being cancelled completely. Thankfully we’d invited several other people to the party they we know but aren’t as close to with similar aged children, and also my husband’s close friends came, so it was still a lovely event, as yours will be too.

I don’t understand why people think it’s ok to act like this, never have, never will, but it’s certainly a salutary lesson in who you can rely on. For the sake of your one year old I would do your best to rise above it, as they don’t mind who’s there, but will enjoy a day of being spoiled by those who love them, and I promise it will be a positive memory all the same.

mamamasala Fri 18-Oct-19 12:15:02

It just sucks because most of the people coming now I don't know THAT well. They're just my dad's friends who he's invited because they have met my son a few times and I live with my dad. It is genuinely the weirdest group of people. I'm going to look like Billy no mates! Half the people I sent invites to didn't even respond. Just feel shit I guess

Mrsjayy Fri 18-Oct-19 12:20:28

Cut the party short do food cake then bye so you dont feel to awkward are yourvfriends child free? They probably don't think a 1st birthday is a huge deal which is irritating because you wanted them to come.

mamamasala Fri 18-Oct-19 12:20:53

There will be me, my 2 siblings, my son obviously, my parents, my gran, 5 of my dad's friends, my friend and her boyfriend, another friend and her daughter who are leaving early, an old family friend, a couple who are old family friends, and another couple and their grown up kids.

Am I catastrophising? I'm so worried about it being staggered and only being a couple of people there at a time.

Just for reference, this is the first party I have thrown in years. I've just come out of an abusive relationship, and wasn't allowed parties, or friends round. My self esteem is fairly low.

mamamasala Fri 18-Oct-19 12:21:38

Everyone who cancelled has kids. Nearly everyone who is coming don't have kids...

Imreallytrying Fri 18-Oct-19 12:26:04

1.15 then?

Imreallytrying Fri 18-Oct-19 12:26:23

Cross post sorry

JuniperBeer Fri 18-Oct-19 12:27:53

Sounds like you’re going to have a lovely small family party. There is nothing wrong with that.
Yes it’s disappointing if people pull out- have they said why? I’d rather they just decline in the first place.

Don’t worry. I’m sure you will have a lovely time.

RolytheRhino Fri 18-Oct-19 12:30:55

They probably don't think a 1st birthday is a huge deal

Well, to be fair it's not, really. Obviously it is to the OP and it would've been nice if they could have come but sometimes life does get in the way. I wouldn't go falling out with them over it- at least they told you beforehand.

AmIThough Fri 18-Oct-19 12:35:13

Just for reference, this is the first party I have thrown in years. I've just come out of an abusive relationship, and wasn't allowed parties, or friends round. My self esteem is fairly low.

Even more reason to do it!
Nobody will even know how many children were/weren't invited. If anything, people will feel more important because you've invited them.

Have a fantastic time doing it as a big FU to the abusive ex.

MyKingdomForBrie Fri 18-Oct-19 12:37:26

You're catastrophising. That sounds like a nice group.

PeppermintPatty10 Fri 18-Oct-19 12:45:36

It sounds like a lovely, intimate event, OP! Everyone can actually chat to each other and more importantly, chat to you!

PeppermintPatty10 Fri 18-Oct-19 12:48:14

And as AmIthough said above, the people who do come (who sound like a great bunch) will be thrilled that you invited them.

Atalune Fri 18-Oct-19 12:51:27

I think it sounds lovely. And you’ll be surrounded but family. Not too many people so it feels too busy too.

Eat the food, drink the drink and forget the losers who can’t come. grin

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