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Drama about Herpes! Advice please

(8 Posts)
Motherhustler Tue 05-Dec-17 15:01:27

Hello, I have a long story I wanted to get off my chest to check if I'm being unreasonable or not. One of my family member child spent about a week in a hospital when he was born due to an unknown virus. He had antibiotics and returned home and was fine. We knew both the parents were tested for herpes which didn't come up with anything. That's all we knew at the time. After a while he kept having blisters on his fingers which looked very sore and painful. We didn't know what to think of them so weren't worried. All we heard was that it's something to do with lymph nodes. About a year later when I actually tried to find out what it was ( felt too awkward to ask the parents and they never mentioned it) I found out it was Herpes. When I asked the family about they said oh we thought you knew. The point was that we didn't know because the H word was never mentioned. I don't have an issue with Herpes ( I get cold sores so I get it) but the fact that we were never told and I have small children who used to play together all the time. There were times when the Mum of that child would tell her child to point at my babies eyes and mouth etc which now thinking about it I find really annoying considering that's the main way to spread it. I know it's not a major condition and a lot of people have it but am I being ridiculous trying to avoid my children having it? All I was waiting for was the parents to tell us just so we can just be more vigilant because of the children's age they are not. There's so much more to this story but I'm trying to keep it short. Another issue was that when I enquired from the Herpes association about what should be done to avoid it (after the parents kept saying that their kids blisters don't pop and it's not contagious etc) They agreed that it would be sensible to cover the blisters to avoid passing it on. All I was trying to do is keep my children safe and I never had a problem with Herpes but the parents attitude about it and they way they couldn't care less about anyone else's children. We now have zero contact after not agreeing on this matter and being called stupid because we didn't ask if he had it ( who goes around asking if people have herpes? I wasn't even aware there was such a thing like herpes of the fingers). What do you think am I being too unreasonable about it?

jb1305uk Tue 05-Dec-17 16:01:33

There’s two types of Herpes Simplex Virus- Herpes Simplex 1 which commonly causes cold sores and Herpes Simplex 2 which is more commonly genital Herpes. Sores on fingers are called whitelows and can be caused by either strain. I did some reading up on it when my baby was born as years ago a neighbours newborn ended up seriously ill with encephalitis after being kissed by someone with a cold sore.

I think if your child had either virus then you’d likely know by now. I’d probably let it go but just be careful if their child had active sores. Just as you would be cautious if you had a cold sore, you wouldn’t kiss your child during that time.

Motherhustler Tue 05-Dec-17 16:22:11

I have read every bit of information I could find about it know. That's one of the points I was making to the mother as well that how would she feel if I had a cold sore and went to kiss their newborn and didn't think anything of it. But because I'm an adult and am aware I know robe careful but a two year old doesn't so in my opinion it should be the parents responsibility.

Usernom1234567890 Tue 05-Dec-17 18:47:22

You are definitely right, the Parents of the other child have been very reckless.

The primary infection-primary hermetic gingivostomatitis - can be really nasty.

I’m sure you’re cautious with your own children when you have a cold sore , but you weren’t given that option with your ?relative’s child.

Quartz2208 Tue 05-Dec-17 20:14:46

Do they always have blisters

Motherhustler Tue 05-Dec-17 22:01:39

We were never nasty about or anything I just expressed my concern and that caused them to be ridiculous about it and not talk to us anymore. That really angered me when they said my kids could catch it from me when sharing a towel but their child couldn't pass it on. Ridiculous. Also when they compared me having cold sores and the kid having them on his fingeres- can't really compare an adult and a 2-year old. When I have a cold sore I always tell my friends (although you can clearly see it anyway) and tell their children that I can't give them a kiss etc. And it's true that even the most harmless viruses can lead to a very bad reaction in some cases.

RestingGrinchFace Tue 05-Dec-17 22:06:29

YANBU. Your child could have gotten very ill. I wouldn't let my children around new burns let alone tell them to touch a young baby (although I wouldn't let them do that regardless) if they had herpes.

Motherhustler Tue 27-Mar-18 12:35:44

Thank you for your advice you all! X

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