4 year old refusing to poo

[Mammabear31]

DH and I are at the end of our tether with our 4 year old son. He's been dry for over a year, he took to it really well and is now dry overnight too. Poo's are a very, very different story though. In October last year we thought we'd cracked it - he finally started doing it on the toilet (with a training seat - never took to the potty, even for wee's). Then it hurt him one day, and ever since he has only ever poo'd in a nappy. We've tried absolutely everything - books, songs, videos, watching us on the toilet, taking the poo out of his nappy and putting it in the toilet. We've upped his fibre intake - he eats alot more fruit now, has linseeds and raisins with his cereal every morning, he drinks alot and we give him calfig on a daily basis to keep him regular. We've been really keen and sat him on the toilet but he won't go, so we've backed off and let him do it in his own time, but he just will not do it anywhere.

We've now got into a hideous pattern of with-holding which then leads to constipation and his tummy gets so distended that after a few days we end up using suppositories, which is distressing him to the point of having to pin him down to put it in. He tells us he tries, but it won't come out or its too hard. We have had him in a nappy for over 3 hours this morning because he said he needed to let the poo out, but every time he gets the sensation he panics and holds it in. No matter what we do, nothing helps. We try so hard not to get angry, and we explain that he will be poorly if he doesn't let it out, and that he needs to be brave, but he doesn't understand.

Please help us break this horrible cycle. We're at breaking point with this, and just want our poor boy to be healthy and happy.

[yikesanotherbooboo]

Poor boy.
This is not an uncommon story.i would suggest that you visit your GP to discuss this.they are likely to give DS a regular dose of at least one laxative to keep things moving and discuss ways to give him back his confidence.
Look at the ERIC website for more information.
I promise that this is sortable but it takes a little while.best of luck

[CleopatraTheCatLover]

Totally understand the frustration and worry this causes. I have ASD dc (7) who is the same

[SodThisForaGameofSoldiers]

Oh no, you poor things OP I have two sons. Ds1 was exactly the same as yours at age 2-4. I hated giving him a nappy to poo in, but hated seeing him withhold and be in pain if I didn't. Our lowest point was at Xmas when I ended up ringing 111 as he was going grey through the pain of not pooing for a week

Ds2 is 3.5 and is exactly the same. Every time he asks for a nappy I ask cheerfully "shall we try on the toilet today?" And he always says no.

Neither child will poo anywhere other than home. When we go on holiday they withold for the first few days, then finally go after much cajoling.

I can't remember specifically doing anything with ds1, who is now 6.5 and has been pooing on the toilet for years. We did end up with him on Movicol/Lactulose for a few months (put it in a shot glass with a jelly bean in the bottom) to help.

Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Have you spoken to a GP yet? I think keeping stools soft and regular is important, but so much easier said than done.

[SodThisForaGameofSoldiers]

Oh, and btw, ds1 started (painfully, whilst crying) pooing in his nappy whilst I was on the phone to 111 answering questions like "is he conscious and breathing?" Sod's law, and was quite embarrassing.

[Jng1]

This horrible - we had it with DS1, and like you tried everything. The GP and health visitor were really unhelpful and just kept saying give him orange juice or fig juice.

I think he had a tiny anal fissure which kept tearing every time he pooed and it became a vicious cycle as the longer he held on the harder it became etc.

In the end we saw a fabulous pediatrician who suggested a really simple and old fashioned) solution - liquid paraffin oil which is available for constipation. Just a tiny amount made it so much easier for DS to poo that we managed to break the cycle in about a week!

Good luck.

[ppeatfruit]

Linseeds are very good but need to be soaked in water , till they go like a jelly. Then drink water with them. Figs are great and prunes, cherries. Give him starflower oil in capsules. Not orange juice it's very acid forming for sensitive stomachs. Lots of water is much better.

Eggs are known to cause constipation also avoid wholemeal bread, brown bread can be worse than white for constipation. See Wheat Belly by William Davis MD.