11 yo sleep problems

[peppansalt]

11yo DS (year 6) has always been anxious and a worrier - but on the whole content and sociable.

However over the last 6 months his anxiety has escalated and we are having a nightmare at bedtime. As soon as he goes to bed he gets upset and worried that he'll be the last one asleep, which perpetuates his anxiety and feeds into his anxiety. Then he finds it impossible to sleep. The situation has reached a point where he now sees a CAMHS psychologist to try and help. He can't articulate what the problem is (says school is fine) he just says he gets bad feelings at bedtime and can't get to sleep. Poor thing is so exhausted the next day he is grumpy and awful to everyone.


We've tried everything; limited screen time, warm bath, stories, meditation CD, opportunity to chat, but nothing makes any difference. He starts sobbing and makes demands about what time me and DH are allowed to go to bed (not allowed to go to bed until he is asleep, and last night that was midnight!)

He's also demanded either me or DH sleep with him, which I agreed to once. Currently he's sleeping in DDs room much to her annoyance, which has helped a small bit but that's not ideal long term.

Apart from any general advice, it would be useful to hear thoughts on resorting to short term sleeping medication. He is beyond exhausted and not coping well during the day. Once he actually falls asleep he stays asleep - it's just getting him to that point. I hope that inconjunction with CAMHS support he'll soon be able to settle himself once again. Having read up on sleep problems at this age it appears to be quite a common problem, I just want to help him through.

[Mummytron]

My son (10) is a bit like this. Not sure I can help though. He has never gone to sleep early and every night is the same with him saying "I can't get to sleep" he likes us to be awake when he goes to sleep but hes not upset. He gets anxious and I just say you will go to sleep when you're ready. He reads until quite late.
Be interested to see other comments
Xx

[SissySpacekAteMyHamster]

I have an 11 year old with similar issues.

I can't go to bed until he's asleep or he ends up in my bed.

He doesn't like being awake when everyone is in bed.

I used to be scared of the dark when his age and hated bedtime.

He goes to sleep eventually, but much later than I would like.

[Quietlygoingmad67]

Melatonin is good for helping them get to sleep but bout stay asleep (which should be okay for your son as you say once asleep he stays asleep) some gps don't like prescribing this but it's with a shot! Have you tried rescue remedy sleep spray? My dd1 used this a lot at times of stress and it's a natural product -
Bless him it must be awful for him to be feeling so anxious and not know or understand why. Also so very stressful for you too X

[CodyKing]

My DH was like this - awake all night etc

What worked was and don't tell him was I lied - wow you were snoring early! - you must feel better after that sleep !!
It really worked ... He believed he'd slept so he did sleep -

Remove all clocks etc and try it - he's just out of kilter