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Unsuitable for adoption?

(8 Posts)
MrsNurse Thu 06-Aug-15 09:20:55

There's a women that I used to work with that has applied for fostering/adoption, she ticks all of the right boxes, she's a nurse, lives in a good area and will probably pass her crb, have impeccable references, however she left her last job under a cloud for being incompetent, her 2 children are on red alert at school for their attendance for punctuality. Homework is rarely if ever done. Her eldest daughter is 16, has adhd and regularly hits the 10 yrs old sibling, is left home alone for extremely long periods. The mum has even indicated to me that she's going to ask if she can leave the elder daughter babysitter the foster child.

The 16yr old is also regularly in trouble with the police, drunkeness, sexually active from the age of 14, fighting, the lis goes on. There's more than likely hospital records of this. Daughter has has cahms team involved, It's clear that the mum is applying just for the financial benefits which a makes me mad

The mum has been in 3 relationships in the last 3 years and has a history of promiscuity.

My question is this, is it just a crb check, references and training that are used to pass someone to be a carer? Do the team look into the children's school and medical records as I feel if they did she wouldn't pass as if she can't look after her own kids she shouldn't be allowed to foster

Advice please

elfycat Thu 06-Aug-15 09:34:55

The fostering team will fine tooth comb through everything in her life. Everything.

That's not to say that fostering/adoption would automatically reject her as sometimes difficult family situations are what turns out understanding and tolerant carers; but if that list is real she might be fighting an uphill battle or be classed as unsuitable if there's someone in the household with emotional difficulties who might hit a foster child.

Your post however seems full of judgement, and you have pretty much summed up your feelings about her applying for financial benefits. I have to say I know fostering to be a rewarding things, and potentially financially stable, but compared to the effort required the pay is very low. Not everyone judges by the same standards so I wouldn't say too much in RL unless you want to be judged too.

MrsNurse Thu 06-Aug-15 09:42:13

it is full of judgement, we fell out after she condoned her daughter being sexually active at 14 with a group of 18 year olds saying it was just experimenting. She also leaves her daughters from 3.30-11pm a few nights a week and sometimes overnight, but hey I guess we all judge differently. If I'm wrong to be concerned then hey judge me too

lilacblossomtime Thu 06-Aug-15 09:45:41

I don't know what happened is this woman's case, but I have heard of cases in the NHS where nurses are assessed for competence, not on their nursing skills, but on their ability to fit in with the ethos of the trust they work for. Things like saving the trust money were taken into account. So I would be willing to hear this woman's side of the story about her dismissal.

MrsNurse Thu 06-Aug-15 09:57:56

She was in a training seSsion and when offered advice by a manager said don't tell me how to suck eggs then walked out and went home early

Fishwives Thu 06-Aug-15 10:02:28

What are you actually saying she has applied for? Do you mean she has applied specifically for a 'foster to adopt' scheme? Because applying to be a foster carer (ie, for a job caring for children) and being assessed to adopt (to become a parent) are two entirely different things. Unless it's a 'foster to adopt' or concurrent planning situation.

MrsNurse Thu 06-Aug-15 10:07:07

It's initially fostering as far as I'm aware, thanks for not jumping down my throat, my main and only concern is this this potential child's well being anD any advIce I can take on board to assertain if I'm making a deal out of nothing

sanfairyanne Fri 07-Aug-15 21:30:19

its a massively long and difficult process, becoming a foster carer so i wouldnt worry.

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