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Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you have any serious medical concerns, we would urge you to consult your GP.

concerned about 9yo dd. Well done if you get to the end of this one,

(18 Posts)
MikeLitoris Sun 02-Mar-14 16:11:22

Not sure if this something or nothing tbh but I have had concerns about dd for a long time and not sure if I should be pushing for some help for her.

I know she is getting to the age now where she is probably getting hormonal but this has all been happening for a few years.

Firstly she is very moody. Not in a stroppy way. She has times of being hyper and bouncy, bordering on hysterical laughter. She can't control it. She laughs at nothing. She will tell me that she has to try really hard not to laugh before coming downstairs in the morning. Its like a compulsion.Other times she can spend days in tears. She never has a reason for it. She says she doesn't know why she is sad. On these days you cannot ask her if she is ok. That just tips her over the edge and she crys for hours. She as more days of ups and downs than 'normal' days.

She struggles to concentrate in school. The teachers describe her as away with the fairies. She can do the work so its not a case of her falling behind.

She doesn't seem very aware of the right way to behave in company. She stands too close to people, even strangers. She thinks nothing of barging through a group of people if she wants to see something. She talks over people, despite being reminded several times not to. She doesn't seem to grasp 'Stranger Danger'. I have to remind her before school daily that she has to use the crossing. If I don't remind her she will just run across the road. I don't think its choosing to ignore me as she knows I'm watching and will be told off.

At the last parents evening I brought this up and her teacher agreed with me. She also mentioned that dd can be quite paranoid. She thinks people are talking about her even when they aren't. If anyone says anything negative to dd she cannot let it go.

I feel like I should be doing something to help her but I'm at a loss as to what that would be.

I really worry about how she is going to cope with secondary school sad

MikeLitoris Sun 02-Mar-14 16:16:40

I forgot to mention her obsession with money. This is a big worry as she has stolen from me twice that I am aware of. £50 just before Xmas that was spent on cakes for school party and £20 from Ds birthday money. Again that was spent on junk.

She spends hours trawling the house looking for any change she can find. If she does get any money she has to spend it. Saving is just not an option.

Winterbluessummersoonish Sun 02-Mar-14 17:20:01

Thyroid conditions come to mind?
Or Is there a difference when her Sugar levels are up/down?
Is she run down/pale- low Iron?

If not health then: if you believe the school of though that all behaviour is communication, is there something else that is going on/happened recently - that may be making act out/act this way?

Could you give a worry book: to write her worries down, maybe something will come out?

MikeLitoris Sun 02-Mar-14 18:04:08

Not noticed any link to sugar or food, perhaps I should keep a food diary?

No big changes or dramas in her life, but this has been going on since she was so small ( dont really remember her any other way tbh) I can't see it being one thing in particular. I will certainly try the worry book. she doesn't communicate well so that could work.

Her dad and I separated when she was 1yo and she has no memories of us as a couple/family so doubt its that?

Health wise she is fine. Doesn't sleep much but doesn't seem to need much. She isn't tired. She loves being Ill though. Always has something that hurts or thinks she has a rash. She has a thing about being bandaged up. I assume she is attention seeking.

Millie2013 Sun 02-Mar-14 18:25:51

I think, based on what you've written here, she would benefit from a consultation with a sympathetic GP, at the very least. It might be (something or) nothing, but better that you have eliminated anything obvious, before she goes the secondary school.

thornrose Sun 02-Mar-14 18:28:59

How is she socially, does she make friends easily?

SwayingBranches Sun 02-Mar-14 18:29:54

Maybe post this in special needs too?

I would certainly discuss all those with a GP though.

MikeLitoris Sun 02-Mar-14 18:45:31

She does make friends with ease but she always seems to attract very dominant friends. She tends to follow others rather than put her self out there iyswim.

I will definitely make an appointment with the go. The school seems to recognise that there is something going on with dd but I suppose because it affecting her schooling so much they weren't that interested?

Thanks all.

tacal Sun 02-Mar-14 18:48:07

I agree, you should post this on the special needs children board. The people there are really helpful. I also found my gp to be helpful when I had concerns about my ds.

ClaraFox Sun 02-Mar-14 18:50:25

Sounds like she could be on the autistic spectrum to me - although I'm no expert! I do have personal experience though.

Maybe make a list of all her quirks / foibles and see the doctor? Also speak with the SEN teacher at school

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sun 02-Mar-14 18:51:41

Honestly if she wasn't nine I would say that it sounds a bit like bipolar with the ups and downs and slightly strange/out of the ordinary obsessions with money and health. Right up my alley, in fact. I don't think it can be diagnosed in children but you do see it in teens. I agree with the GP idea.

Cocolepew Sun 02-Mar-14 18:54:44

She sounds a bit similar to my DD, though more extreme (no offence intended).
My DD has ASD traits and OCD.

Has school mentioned her seeing an educational psychologist?

AuditAngel Sun 02-Mar-14 18:58:00

Hearts, I was thinking Manic Depressive, but I don't think that is the accepted term at the moment blush

insanityscatching Sun 02-Mar-14 19:13:41

She sounds like my dd who has autism and a good dollop of hormones thrown in. She is eleven now and navigating her moods and emotions is like walking a tightrope over the Grand Canyon.
You could see your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician.

Cocolepew Sun 02-Mar-14 19:19:53

Bizarrely my DD is much better and 'in control' now she's 16, so I think hormones had a big part to play in her behaviour.

thornrose Sun 02-Mar-14 19:22:26

I'm always a bit nervous about mentioning autism with regards to other people's children.

She does sound a lot like my dd with Aspergers. She is 14 now and she is finally settling down a bit. It's still a bit of a roller coaster though!

lauraingaliswildersshoe Sun 02-Mar-14 19:34:55

I have a nine year old dd and some of this is familiar.

The mood swings (esp crying) is definitely familiar.

Also the health obsession. ALWAYS she has a list of ailments and , like a toddler, likes a plaster to make it better. I had not thought of it as attention seeking (but now you come to mention it . . . ) but more just no stoicism at all and no tolerance of any discomfort (and likes to spread the misery).

MikeLitoris Sun 02-Mar-14 20:05:05

I'll copy this over to Special needs then.

I just feel desperately sad that dd never seems to be happy. Even in the hyper days it seems quite manic and not naturally happy.

I did think of bipolar but assumed that wasn't something children would have.

I'll speak to the gp and senco this week.

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