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Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you have any serious medical concerns, we would urge you to consult your GP.


(7 Posts)
NK346f2849X127d8bca260 Sat 22-Feb-14 19:58:13

Has anybody have experience of this ?

My 10 year old dd has recently been diagnosed and has just started counselling . The nightmares/ flashbacks are still happening most nights and she is very clingy with me.

Will she ever recover?
It started after her father threatened suicide in front of her 3 months ago. The police were called and I don't think I will ever get over the image of her sat on the lap of one of the policemen in her pyjamas cuddling her favourite bear.

PinkyHasNoEars Sat 22-Feb-14 21:02:25

Yes, although I was older (late teens). The situation was similar though - my mother's suicide.

It took a long time to get any help (this was many, many years ago) and, because of that, it took a long time for me to recover. I think it will be different for your daughter, because things have changed, because she has been given help sooner. And because she has you.

It is a bit like peeling an onion I think, so she may have a period in counselling and then a gap and then maybe need some more support Or she may not, she may find the place where these difficult memories can be placed, and move on.

I don't think there is any one answer. But I do believe that she will recover. I did - I am a very happy person and it has been many, many years since I experienced the intrusive thoughts, nightmares and anxiety that I used to battle every day.

Are you also getting some help? Do you have someone to talk to and someone caring for you? This sounds like a really distressing situation that you are facing.

It's not very Mumsnet-y but I'm sending you a hug.

NinjaCow Sat 22-Feb-14 22:56:31

Yes. When I was 10, I discovered my DSis' body after she had committed suicide. It's been a struggle, I've been to CBT on and off, tailing off eventually. I spent a long time avoiding/emotionally numbing, and had anxiety about separation, but now I can talk about it more, talk about the resulting emotions and also talk about my sister more positively as freely. It takes time- it's been eleven years since then, and although it's been hard, I HAVE got through PTSD. I am happy, no flashbacks or other symptoms at all, no need for treatment.

Andro Sat 22-Feb-14 23:21:45

My DS(10) has PTSD as a result of the car crash that killed his bio parents. He has been having treatment for over 3 years but his case was further complicated by trauma induced amnesia, grief and phobia issues. He isn't fully recovered, but he is far, far better than he was. Certain things still trigger episodes, but his triggers are far fewer, the episodes are shorter and they are also less severe.

When DS started treatment we were warned that his symptoms would probably get worse before they got better, that warning was accurate and we had a pretty miserable 6 months. Since then he has followed a pattern of slow progress, followed by a serious regression, followed by a significant breakthrough. The process has been hard for all of us and at times pure torture for DS, with that said it has been very positive for him overall and most certainly the right thing to do. Right now you cannot give too much reassurance or too many hugs if she needs them, make sure her school is aware of her PTSD, her triggers (if you know them) and a plan for how to manage them.

Does your DD have a journal? DS found that writing about what he was feeling/experiencing helped him make more sense of things, it was a useful way of communicating with me and DH as well as being a valuable tool used by his therapist.

PinkyHasNoEars Sun 23-Feb-14 20:40:50

Just popping by to see how you're doing?

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 Mon 24-Feb-14 17:46:04

Thank you all for sharing your experiences , it has helped me to feel not so alone.

Pinky... I have 4 very close friends and older adult children who have been very supportive to dd and myself.
She is still waking up most nights and finds it very hard to understand her dad's depression.
She is worried he will do it again ( he actually threatened suicide twice in a 12 hour period) and I have noticed that she has developed a bit of anxiety about bridges (he was going to jump off a bridge).

Next week she is going away with her school for 4 nights , I am really worried about her going, but she is looking forward to it . School are aware of all that has gone on and are very supportive, they have put a sort of care plan into place.

Really hoping counselling is going to help, I have also found out recently that she is talking with Childline through their online support team.

Thanks again for your writing about your own experiences.

PinkyHasNoEars Mon 24-Feb-14 18:15:17

I'm really happy that you have good support in RL.

I don't know if it will help but I did want to add something. I first knew that my mum was trying to kill herself from when I was about 8 years old, she tried on multiple occasions (usually in the same way) and I remember vividly how hard I found it to be separated from her, because I convinced myself it was somehow my job to keep her alive (and that if I wasn't there to help her, and to convince her to live, it would be my fault if she died).

I'm sure you've already thought about this, but your daughter may struggle being away more than she has imagined she would, and be panicked about what is happening at home whilst she is not there. It's so good that she has a supportive school but it's even better that she has you - you sound like a wonderful mum.

I think that counselling will help her, but I also know that your awareness of how she is feeling and her sense of you and your solidity will mean everything to her.

I'm sending you all much love for the difficult road you are all walking.

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