Oh I'm so scared. DD started having seizures in February this year, totally out of the blue (apart from one six year ago) so she had an EEG which suggested features of epilepsy - focal and generalised. She then had an MRI, which came back clear.
Except it wasn't clear. Over the summer DD has had more and more seizures, despite being drugged up to the eyeballs. A couple of weeks ago she was the worst we had ever seen her, consultant said she was having'non-status convulsions', so apart from the fits we could see every two hours or so, when I thought she was then sleeping them off, apparently her brain was still fitting. She then started with absences, delusions, memory loss, confusion and basically a total personality change.
Sorry, I was waffling there. While she was in hospital this time, they did another MRI, which has identified something on/in her brain. So they went back and checked the last scan, and yup - it was there as well, but really small so they missed it. They only found it this time because they knew where to look from the second scan.
So tomorrow she is having a contrast MRI, to check "tissue density" and what effect this is having on how her brain is functioning.
I am absolutely terrified, have fallen back into a depression that I had been working so hard on beating, and basically want to run away and hide and pretend none of this is happening.
I have ummhed and ahhed over posting tbh, as I'm not that great at social interaction, and fear that posting may be a step too far for me as well as the worry that no one will reply but I'm sitting here in the dark so so scared about what tomorrow will bring and just needed to off load a little.
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Children's health
DD having third MRI tomorrow.
JetcatisBack · 02/09/2013 22:27
It can be so hard to think about what a period of time should have been like, if this dreadful stressful thing had not happened. Life should have been fun and normal and instead it has been scary and full of worry 
your daughters sound fab.
Oh minmooch, sending all my love to your DS
Humphrey - thank you, they are fab! I'm not too sure just how much DD understands about all this. The only time I've seen her proper scared and upset was this last time in hospital when I got upset. She had been talking to me for a few mins (well, just saying random stuff to be honest) but it was the most lucid she had been in days, which was reassuring. Until she asked me when her mam was arriving - she had no idea who I was. That broke my heart - nearly as much as DD2's heart was broken when she realised DD had no idea what Despicable Me was, despite them watching it many times together.
Borninastorm, everyone keeps telling me they've no idea how I'm coping - but that's just it. I don't feel that I am. I think I am in total denial, not having any real idea of a plan and I'm very much a person who needs to have some sort of a plan to cling to.
And as for saying things on here I can't say in real life - oh my word yes. Last week DD sat with me and a friend for nearly an hour - DD has known this person for two years now. But she got really distressed as she couldn't remember who she was. People were telling me that was only because my friend had her hair different. Not wanting to upset anyone, I agreed, when in reality I just wanted to scream - she's ill, not f*ing stupid 
I'm happy your DD pulled through 
Hello lovely, nothing much else to say to than I already have other than you are an amazing Mum and your girls are lucky to have you.
When you feel up to it please let us know how it goes tomorrow, I will be thinking of you and both DDs and praying for positive news.
Another one sending you good luck and positive vibes my lovely.
You are allowed to vent, it is healthy and exactly what you need.
Yours DDs are amazing and so are you.
Thinking of you all 
Oh jet I am so sorry your DD didn't get the scan, how upsetting and frustrating to have this dragged out and no outcome that you can work with today. I just don't know what to say but 
and 
might be in order at least in the absence of words that might help.
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Ffs! That's is ducking ridiculous!
I'm so angry for you, you sound too tired to be angry
I hope they get her in quicker than that. Is she an in patient? My dd has been admitted as an inpatient specifically so they could get her MRI done next day. Might be worth chasing up her consultant.
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