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Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you have any serious medical concerns, we would urge you to consult your GP.

Argh, ideas needed for very wussy 4yo dd...

(12 Posts)
pamplemousse Sat 13-Aug-11 20:15:56

I nearly lost my patience this evening and I have have quite lot of it! At the moment every time my dd, who is 4, hurts herself she massively overreacts and it takes hours to sort it.
This evening she came back from her day with her dad and she'd just fallen over and grazed her knee through her leggings. It was one of those where the very top layer of skin comes off and it stings. Well she walked into the house doubled over with both hands on her knee, she insisted she couldn't let go. She let me look but covered it up again and sat on the bathroom floor refusing to move as 'she couldn't' cue hysterics at every suggestion; to name a few, 'magic cream', a plaster, neither, both, i do it, she does it, blah blah.
WWYD? I feel like I am pandering to her, but she was tired and hysterical and needed to be put to bed so I kept trying. If I leave (tried this with a splinter she had last week) she screams hysterically then agrees to let me do whatever agreed action then changes her mind at the last second. It so frustrating!
Are other people's children like this? Have I bred a hysterical wimp child? Help!!!

Bluebelle38 Sat 13-Aug-11 20:36:39

Hi there

Sorry, but I had to laugh at the way you phrased it all :D

OK, I am not a mum but I once saw a friend deal with an hysterical 7-year-old who slipped on a few stairs and howled and howled. We all thought he'd broken his leg from his yelping but his mum informed us that that was what he usually did to get a bit of attention.

My friend is great with kids. She went over to him, asked where it hurt and inspected the foot. She then looked at me and said 'I don't think we need an ambulance'. Well, the yelping stopped immediately and was replaced by total and utter shock. Immediately the tears were wiped and he was up and on his way.

I would say don't pander to her. It may take a few times of hearing a good bit of carry-on but she will soon realise that the overdramatics are not working.

I mean, imagine if she was really hurt? How would you know if she is like this all the time?

Good luck smile

pamplemousse Sat 13-Aug-11 20:47:49

I know I can't imagine the volume/duration if she'd done something bad!! I did try that tactic, I forgot to mention... I said oh no we'll have to chop your leg off, oh no maybe I'll chew it off, nom nom. She laughed, then schreeched as she'd moved it minutely and carried on wailing. hmm

CMOTdibbler Sat 13-Aug-11 20:55:50

I'd look at whatever she'd done, and if it didn't need any treatment, do a very matter of fact 'no bones broken' give her a hug and tell her to go and play - that sort of hysteria is only fed by attention tbh.

poptartpoptart Sat 13-Aug-11 21:31:24

Ha! Pamplemousse, I think I've just found your DD the perfect husband in 20 years time....my DS!
He is EXACTLY the same as your DD (he's 6). I have posted on this subject before as DS is also a huge wimp and the slightest scrape, bump or scratch sets him off into hysterics. He came running over to me in the park the other day wailing and covering his arm with his hand screaming 'it's bleeding'! After about 15 minutes of pursuading he finally let me have a look at it - turns out it was some dried up tomato ketchup from lunchtime, serioiusly!!
I've also tried everything to calm the situation, reacting, not reacting, hugs, patience, mention of hospital, doctors, chopping off the affected area, ignoring, etc, and nothing works so I'm afraid I have no suggestions or advice for you, it's just comforting to know that he is not the only one! If you fins a tactic that works then please do email me!

Bluebelle38 Sat 13-Aug-11 21:35:43

Maybe it's because when you say you are going to chew it off your daughter knows you are joking!

My friend was so serious the kid was dumbfounded.

In saying that, his mother is a psychologist and she had no idea how to sort him out.

I know I shouldn't laugh as I am sure it drives parents demented but it is funny, in a cute way. And I know I can say that as I am not living it.

Bluebelle38 Sat 13-Aug-11 21:36:39

OP, Have you ever gone so far as to put her in the car and say you are going to take her to the hospital?? Just a thought.

pamplemousse Sat 13-Aug-11 21:53:06

poptart, fabulous, honestly finding someone else who has the same is very calming!!! The tomato ketchup made me laugh, but not out loud as dd would do that too...
Oh OK, bluebell, I may try that one...!!

thisisyesterday Sat 13-Aug-11 21:58:06

i would not keep cajoling and trying to look at it etc etc

it would be a "let me see" and if she then refuses i would say "ok, well i can't help you unless i see it, so you let me know when you're ready to show me" and then go off and do something else.

if she screams, then just remind her that screaming doesn't tell you anything, and when she is ready to have it looked at she needs to tell you in an ordinary voice.

then just go and do something else, and ignore screaming.

don't pander to it. don't make a thousand suggestions for her to pooh-pooh. just a "i'll pop a plaster on it when you're ready" and leave her to it

EllieG Sat 13-Aug-11 22:00:34

Mine's a bit like that! Honestly, 'tis the end of the world when she falls over. Have a feeling she might get it from me though as I'm a bit of a drama queen..... blush

I just normally (if not a serious one) do quick brush down and hug and a 'oo, you look alright darling, oh dear, never mind, magic kiss, off you go' and then that's it. I find if I do more then it goes on for blinkin' ages and the world and his wife has to know

poptartpoptart Sat 13-Aug-11 22:08:01

Oh, and once when I refused to put a plaster on a miniscule, need a magnifying glass to see it, almost non-existant scratch, he took himself off to his pretend doctors kit and found an old plaster and put it on himself (all the while wailing and feeling v sorry for himself because of uncaring horrible mummy not pandering to it) !
I don't know about you but I find this behaviour particularly embarrassing when we are out, or at a friends house. Interestingly though, he is not as bad when I am not there, especially at school. He still cries but gets over it a lot quicker than when he is with me (according to his teachers). It must be some sort of weird attention thing when I am around but I have no idea why because he gets loads of positive attention and play / fun / cuddles from me and DP. Fingers crossed they will just eventually grow out of it.

Shoulddohousework Sat 13-Aug-11 22:52:41

My DS is going through a drama queen stage and every little thing is a tragedy - honestly when he hurts himself, you would think that his arm, leg, etc had fallen off. I tend to be quite strict about it now, ask him to show me the injury, say I do not think that we need hospital, ask if he would like a plaster, mostly just play it down as much as possible. If he is being overly silly, then I tend to leave him to it and say that I will come back when he has calmed down enough to show mummy and she will try and make it better which usually works. Unfortunately, it is everything that is a drama from losing a toy, DS2 annoying him - but I have been assured it is a stage that he will grow out of!
Saying that, yesterday, he fell off a chair and was making a big thing out of it and I told him not to be silly - did not realise that he had hit his cheekbone on the back of the chair and now has a cracking black eye! But he was fine after a little bribe so it was not that bad!

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