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Bedwetting in 9 year old DS.....Please help!(24 Posts)
I just do not know what is happening.
He was dry by the age of 2.5 years day and night and we have had no real problems with bedwetting since.
He was 9 in April and keeps having accidents. He does not cry but is obv a bit embarrassed esp as his brother who's 6 has never wet the bed but ds2 is cool about it and doesnt say anything to his older brother.
There are 2 issues here.
1 DS1 never tells me he has wet the bed so if I forget to check then the wet bedding stays on all day. He also takes off his wet pants and leaves them in various places and then we find them a few days later. DH and I have both spoken to him and told him that he must tell us when it happens and that we only get cross if tries to hide it. We know he is avoiding having a shower but the chances are he might go to school smelling of wee which is ewwwwwwwww!!
2 Why is he now wetting the bed? There are no probs at home, he is happy at school, doing well at school and has loads of friends. He has a lovely family and DH and I are very happy.
PLEASE help !! What do I do? I have said we will have to go and see the dr but he really does not want to. Do you think it might be something medical?
Hmmmm....DS wet the bed for a long time, but was never completely dry first.
Is he sleeping very heavily or drinking more?
I take it it's not every night, or you would just aromatically check the bed. DS used to wet when he was worried about school. Are you sure there is nothing, not even the thought of a new teacher in September which is bothering him?
But, yes, it could be medical, and the GP might want to take a urine sample to rule everything out.
thanks for posting.
It has been 5/7 nights that he has been wetting but he hardly drinks anything. He also holds his wee for a loooooooooooong time in the day and then gets to bursting/tears in his eyes from being soooo desperate!
As I write it down I realise I need to see the doctor.
Docs can do bladder management plan to see if there are probs - is he holding it because it hurts when he pees? Does he have any problems with tight foreskin?
He does have a tight foreskin. We were told not to do anything with it when he was younger but he deffo cannot move it.
Could that be the problem? Why is that a problem?
It's not necessarily a problem itself, but it can lead to infections or irritation if not able to wash properly and this might make urination uncomfortable
Bedwetting is such a nightmare, yes I agree definitely go and see the doctor for advice. It sounds like there might be an emotional issue of some sort, and maybe he isn't coping very well with something, but like most 9 yo boys doesn't want to tell you. 9 years seems to be a difficult age for a boy, my son is 10 and when he was 9 he started going through a nightmarish stage with his behaviour and attitude - throwing wobblies in the classroom etc. (although no bedwetting in our case) It seems that they are having to suddenly grow up and cant cope with it at that age. maybe something similar is going on for your ds too. I have to say it doesn't seem to be quite as bad this year at school and home, he seems to have matured a bit, but the anxiety problems are still in the background a bit I think.
I would recommend having a look on the internet, theres a really good site about this called ERIC and lots of other stuff on there. My dd at nearly 8 is not dry at night but never has been which is a different issue but I trawled the internet before I saw the doctor to gen up, if only to make sure the doctor wasn't fobbing me off.
Sorry for the long post, I'm gabbling on as usual, but I hope I have been of some help! Good luck and hope you get things sorted.
<sigh> I do feel really sad about this. And sorry for ds. And I am trying really hard not to get cross but I am inside.
needcuppa you say your dd has never been dry so what do you do? Do you get night time pants for her? Or do you let her wet the bed and then deal with the sheets? My washing pile is horrific atm and the weather is awful.
If he wets again tonight and over the weekend then we will deffo go to the docs next week.
She has always worn pullups at night, we tried without but after a week of washing it was obvious that she is just not ready to be continent at night so the pullups came back, I couldnt stand it anymore! It might be harder to get your ds to wear pullup if he isnt used to one though. Obviously at that age it gets embarrassing not to be dry, cant do sleepovers, sibling teasing etc. so we went to the doctor who told us first step is no drinks after 6.pm whatsoever, and take her to the toilet for a wee when we go to bed later, which has to be around 11.00/11.30 for it to work for her, hard to stay awake that late sometimes (why Im on mumsnet right now and not asleep in front of the telly!!!). Its working ok, ie dry pullups most of the time, but its not really solving it, we are supposed to go back to the doctor again after two weeks. They say you have to try all these things to get referred to the enuresis clinic.
I have great sympathy for you over the washing pile, when my dd wet the bed in the morning she would pull the duvet back over the wet sheet without realising, so I had smelly duvets too. hmm.
Deffo go to the docs, as others say there might be also a medical reason, eg urinary infection maybe, especially as he is holding in all day. Also the doc can refer you to specialist clinic for help hopefully too.
It's called secondary enuresis and is not uncommon.
He needs to retrain his bladder once you've ruled out a wee infection. A tight foreskin is rarely a problem unless he has full blown phimosis and can't wee at all, or has a very restricted flow.
He needs to drink plenty a 250 ml glass every 2-3 hours from waking until about an hour before bed. Avoid red and brown drinks (berry squashes, hot choc, tea and coffee as well as cola etc) before bedtime. The bladder is a muscly bag and like any muscle needs a workout, ie to be filled and emptied regularly. If it isn't filled it will become flabby and twitchy and the lining becomes irritated.
He needs to wee every 2-3 hours. If he is not weeing regularly, but holding on until bursting the bladder overfills and overstretches and will lose it's tone and become flabby and twitchy. A flabby bladder doesn't send a strong message to the brain to empty, so it gets even bigger and flabbier. A bit like a balloon that has been blown up too far and then when you let it down it's all floppy and then needs blowing up even more next time.
Often within a couple of weeks of proper bladder training the wetting will be improved if not resolved. Reward charts can be helpful but remember to reward the behaviour and not the being dry - that may be unrealistic for him. So reward efforts such as drinking plenty (you can make a drinks chart), going to the loo regularly (have a loo box on your chart to tick) and reward for eg getting up for a wee at night, or first thing in the morning, or dealing with the wet bed or PJs himself.
Try to get him involved in stripping bedding when wet, changing PJs etc. Not as punishment but to make him responsible for his wetting so that he can take control of it. We use to say to children "My bladder, my bed, my boxer shorts!" Obviously no shame in wetting, no punishment for a wet bed, try not to show your frustration or anger (hard I know) but be really matter of fact about it. Make it easy for him to take control of bedding and clothing my layering the bed with for eg waterproof mattress cover, then a towel, then a sheet, then another towel and then another sheet. If he wets he can then possibly just strip off the top sheet and towel and not have to fully remake the bed.
Thanks so much
Have just read the ERIC website and I know we can sort this out but I really am fed up about it.
Will let you know how it goes.
needanothercuppa your doc has given you some poor advice re taking her to the loo late at night. Unless she fully wakes at that time then it could well be reinforcing the 'wee whilst you're asleep' message to the brain.
Certainly double voiding at bedtime eg toilet, teeth, then toilet again last thing before sleeping is good. Avoid milk as a drink within 2-3 hours of bedtime as it takes longer to digest than water and so the fluid 'part' of milk is excreted as wee much later. You only need to restrict water 1-1.5 hours before bed really.
These things have helped enormously with the washload in our house. Mattress protectors do their job but these half-sheets go over the normal sheets so you don't have to strip the whole bed each time. Bonus is they are washable and dry quickly.
I know it doesn't solve the problem, sorry, but it may help you in the short term while you try to find a solution. Sorry to post and run but DS has just woken up. I'll pop back tomorrow.
Sidge, I do wake her up, she walks to the bathroom herself and it does seem to be helping. Also it does seem to reinforce the message to her that going to the toilet is what you do when your bladder is full, not to rely on the pullup, as she is now better at going to the loo first thing when she wakes too.
Oh that's good that she walks herself.
I imagine you'll get good advice from Enuresis Clinic - IME GPs know
nothing very little about enuresis management
ooh Sidge I missed your first post which was very informative and made lots of sense
He drinks very very little so I can now understand why his bladder is not working to its full capacity
Tomorrow is a new day
And I have just woken him and taken him for a wee which I know may not be right but eeeek! no more wet sheets please!!
I got that impression too, but it looks like we have to tick the boxes to get referral to the clinic!
Well now to leave mumsnet for now and go upstairs for the late night loo run...
no direct experience but my nephew did the same for a long time I don't know the exact details of the preventative measures they took. It did involve the intervention of the GP with support from the district nurse and very gentle and sensitive discusisons and monitoring for a while but eventually the problem resolved .
good luck for you and hugs to your child who must be feeling terrible about all this.
A dry bed and a happy boy today.
And we have had a chat and he is going to be drinking lots and lots of water to try and get his bladder to work properly.
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