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Am I right to be unhappy with CM?

(29 Posts)
Sairyuk Thu 01-May-14 09:53:40

Morning all, this is my first ever post! My DD is 10mths and has been at her CM since January, everything seemed fine, she was recommended by a friend whose child is 4yrs. However, recently there seems to be more and more small things that I'm unhappy with. A few examples are: my DD only being taken to either the CM's MIL's house;
or to visit her Mother in a carehome;
or to the local supermarket

My CM told me recently that she has her grandchildren on a Wednesday so could I find someone to have my DD on a Wednesday (she goes 3 days a week) as she likes her Grandchildren to have all her attention.

Very often she will say when I pick up my DD there are no wipes/dummies packed - when they are always packed and clearly in her changing bag. I don't know if she is incapable of looking! But the straw that broke the camels back was 2 weeks ago when I was told I hadn't packed any water (even though it was in the changing bag area it's always in!) the CM was in a bad mood and was complaining that DD had just had her dinner then sicked it all back up again and she'd just changed her bum but it was dry (she'd had the nappy on for 4 hours!) I just wanted to scream SHE'S DEHYDRATED! That's why she'd been sick and had a dry nappy!!

I am now looking for a new CM, am I being too hasty?

Chopsypie Thu 01-May-14 09:56:57

I wouldn't be happy either.
I think good communication is essential with a childminder, an ours will always text/ring me if she can't find something or if something is wrong.
The one time I had forgotten to put a dummy in, she bought a new one and I paid her for it afterwards.

And what childminder doesn't have a cup to give a child a drink of water, regardless if you have packed one or not?

fancyanotherfez Thu 01-May-14 10:01:45

No. I would find another childminder. Who doesn't give a child in heir care some water from their own house, if hey cant find a cup their parent has packed? And if you are paying someone to look after your child, then that is their job! They can't decide they want to look after someone else and leave you in the lurch.
My CM takes my DS to the supermarket sometimes, but that's what I would do if I was looking after him, and I wanted a home environment. She also takes him to softplay and playgroups every day, as I would do though! If her kids get something, my DS gets something. She's taking the piss, or doesn't want to do it anymore and is trying to get you to leave.

Paddingtonthebear Thu 01-May-14 10:02:09

She sounds incompetent. I would be concerned about the dehydration thing, and frankly quite pissed off about paying someone who was "complaining" to me about my own child. I would definitely look elsewhere. I don't agree with childminders taking their mindees on errands all the time, it's not what they are being paid for.

Sairyuk Thu 01-May-14 10:03:12

Thanks for your reply Chopsypie, I know. Even a text to ask where it was would have been fine but she obviously didn't bother looking and couldn't be bothered to ask. The lack of outings really bother me too.

Surely other CM's take children out to soft play/rhyme time/meet with other CM's?

Sairyuk Thu 01-May-14 10:08:28

Thanks everyone, I'm glad it's not all in my head and your replies have given me the confidence to give her notice.

It's almost like she wants the money but can't really be bothered to do the job properly and thinks it's an easy way to make cash. Her attitude after she had to clean up my DD sick was really bad.

girliefriend Thu 01-May-14 10:12:24

She sounds terrible, def look for another cm.

ditsygal Thu 01-May-14 10:15:15

I would move her to a different CM or a nursery. That doesn't sound like the caring sort of environment that I would want for my baby.
You pay alot of money for child care and you should be confident that they are receiving the same sort of care that you would give.
Giving no water to a baby all day is inexcusable - so is complaining to you about having to clean up sick. Babies throw up and poo and all sorts of messy stuff, if you are a CM you have to deal with that happily.

Definitely change CM, find someone you are happy with and who seems to care about your LO.

harryhausen Thu 01-May-14 10:28:40

Def find another cm.

My dcs are now 9 and 7. They've been going to my cm since babies and they still go to her after school for 2 days a week as do other older children the CM has had since babies.

On school holidays she takes them on day trips - the beach, the zoo, the park, museums etc. She does all the same with her little ones too plus playgroups.

This spring they are growing tadpoles!

Warmth and caring is in abundance in her house.

I would not be happy with the lack of 'smoothness' with your CM. I think gut instinct is everything. Having to find other childcare for one day a week when I was only needing 3 would be the nail in the coffin for me.

Sairyuk Thu 01-May-14 10:59:04

Thanks all, I also forgot to mention that occassionally she will say oh I had to go here or there so I left your DD with my Daughter for a couple of hours. Her Daughter is in her late 20's and has 2 children of her own but she is not a registered CM with first aid skills or insurance!

busyDays Thu 01-May-14 11:29:47

To be honest she doesn't really sound like she wants to be doing the job and she definitely should not be leaving young child with her daughter unless she is a registered assistant.

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 01-May-14 12:06:33

Def pull dd out and report to ofsted if she is leaving dd with her own dd who isn't registered

Why on earth didn't she give your dd a beaker of water. All cm have spare beakers and if didn't have one she could go and buy one

Babies are sick - it happens

Do you have a contract stating she would look after dd on a Wednesday? If so she is not doing her job properly and I would def find new child care

Regard shops - cms are meant to be a home from home so don't see the problem in going as long as not every day

And yes she should be taking to groups etc - did you not discuss this when you met her?

LingDiLong Thu 01-May-14 12:13:09

yep, definitely find another. she falls far short of how a childminder should be. in fact I would consider complaining to ofsted about certain aspects. I'm a childminder and neither I or any of the ones I know locally would provide such a poor standard of care.

rocketjam Thu 01-May-14 12:26:34

Some of it is ok, I wouldn't have a problem with visiting MIL for a short time, and a little shop to pick a few things. I find that small shops offer good opportunities to talk about different food, look at fruit/veg and maybe choose something new for the child to try. Child-minder have a requirement to always have drinks on offer, having no beaker in the bag is no excuse.However, the important think is that you can talk to the child-minder about things that worry you, and it sounds to me as if you don't feel comfortable doing that. \Communicaton between the child-minder and parents is essential. A CM cannot leave a child with someone unless that person is her 'assistant' an Ofsted is informed, as well as the insurance.

FatimaLovesBread Thu 01-May-14 12:41:32

I'd change. I can't believe you have to send your child with water! How much are you paying for care which doesn't even include water?
I send DD with a change of clothes, coat, hat/gloves/suncream depending on the weather and nappies and that's it. I sometimes send wipes too but the CM has her own. Everything else the CM provided

fieldfare Thu 01-May-14 12:53:53

Find someone else.
What she's doing isn't on and I say that as a cm myself.
Regardless of whether kids turn up with their own cup they'll generally chose one of ours from the cupboard. There's no way I'd let a child become dehydrated. As for leaving your dd with her daughter, that's against Ofsted regulations. You should be able to terminate your contract with immediate effect. Check the small print.

Sairyuk Thu 01-May-14 12:57:40

Don't get me wrong, going to the supermarket and MIL is not an issue. My issue is they are the only places she takes her.

Blondeshavemorefun, when we originally met her she told us that she takes the children to soft play every Wednesday. Obviously now she only has her grandchildren on a Wednesday that makes perfect sense to me that it was probably her intention all along.

everlong Thu 01-May-14 12:58:42

You're doing the right thing.
Don't look back.

HSMMaCM Thu 01-May-14 13:00:33

The visits and shops can be made fun for children, but no way should she be left with anyone else, or go without water.

I believe you should always listen to your gut instinct when it comes to Childcare.

Strix Thu 01-May-14 13:24:07

That does not sound like a kind loving environment where your 10 month old will be happy. She is obviously pre-occupied with her own family and not terribly committed to the childminding business.

I am curious though, as your DD is too young to talk, how do you know all this stuff? And, worse, what else might be going on that you don't know about?

pizzachickenhotforyou Thu 01-May-14 13:41:56

To visit a care home? Dehydrated? I'd report her.

ConfusedPixie Thu 01-May-14 13:54:36

Really really report her, she left a child without water because she couldn't find it in your bag? That alone is awful, let alone leaving her with her daughter, which would be wrong even if you had agreed to it.

Lucylouby Thu 01-May-14 13:58:18

pizzachickenhotforyou are you saying because the cm took the child to a care home, she should be reported? What's wrong with visiting a care home? I'm a cm and occasionally take the children to visit an old lady I have know for years. Seeing the children brings her much happiness and the children like going. I take some kind of colouring activity to keep them occupied and they generally do some kind of show for her. It's good for children to see people of all ages and show them what happens as we age. It's not something that should be hidden away.
I do agree that a cm not giving a child a drink is bad though. And that the cm should be able to provide varied outings to parks,farms and other child friendly activities.

Sairyuk Thu 01-May-14 14:02:32

Strix the worrying thing is these are the things that the CM tells me when I collect DD, so god only knows what she doesn't tell me!

BobTheFly Thu 01-May-14 14:06:41

Is she an actual ofsted reg cm? Or just a granny who watches children?

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