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childminder meeting lover with child in car

(23 Posts)
cantbeliveit Mon 01-Aug-05 23:56:35

a childminder that i know met her lover and had oral sex with the child che minds in tha car.He was asleep at the time.This makes me mad though what would you do about it.I have changed my name as i don't want her to find out

QueenOfQuotes Mon 01-Aug-05 23:58:17

I'd think you were having a laaaavvvv

cantbeliveit Tue 02-Aug-05 00:00:01

no i am not i really feel if i was the parent i would want to know.Or am i the only one who may think it is not the done thing

cantbeliveit Tue 02-Aug-05 00:00:50

wished i was queenofquotes

HellyBelly Tue 02-Aug-05 17:39:50

That is absolutely disgusting, I am shocked!!! I'm not saying I haven't done these things myself in the past but to do this with kiddies, especially ones you are being paid to look after is

moozoboozo Tue 02-Aug-05 17:42:07

OMG!!!! I'd kill her. Incidentally, how did you find out about it?

Pixiefish Tue 02-Aug-05 17:46:24

i'd be fuming if that was my child in the car even if he was asleep.
what if he'd woken up and seen what was going on?

Hulababy Tue 02-Aug-05 17:59:44

I'd be fuming; livid. I suspect I'd not be using the cm again.

This is completely inappropriate behaviour for the cm, and must surely be against ome rules.

NannyL Tue 02-Aug-05 18:26:39

OMG

shocking!

completly inappropriate, IF i was the child mother i would want to know (to ensure i NEVER sent my child there again), and i would also report her etc...

this is completely wrong and she should NOT be allowed to get away with it

WigWamBam Tue 02-Aug-05 18:29:26

How did you find out that she did this? Don't go making accusations to the parents unless you're 100% sure that this is actually true.

jamboure Tue 02-Aug-05 18:32:18

OMG!!!!!! that is disgusting

Never should you have sex of anykind in front of kids sleeping or not.

What does the friend say about it or is she not bothered?

Bet it would be different if it were her child in the car.

I for one as a parent would remove my child from her care and find a better more suited childminder. I would also report her to the care commission

QueenOfQuotes Tue 02-Aug-05 18:33:17

Reading this in the 'cold light of day' I still feel the same way as I did LAVst night

TwinSetAndPearls Tue 02-Aug-05 21:46:13

This is of cource unacceptable, but I don't understand how you know about it. I am hoping she didn't plunge to further depths and have an audience.

I wouldn't have any kind of imtimate action in front of my own child never mind someone elses, hence we are always hvang to creepn into the hall for nookie as dd keeps getting into bed with us. I swear she has a randiness monitor any movement and she is out of her bed across the landing and into our room!

nannyjo Tue 02-Aug-05 21:48:33

i would go absolutley mad, that is disgusting behaviour and i would report her, sorry if anyone thinks thats too harsh but ahe shouldn't mind.
What would she do if she met him at her house???

CANTBELIVEIT Tue 02-Aug-05 21:52:33

this is tricky but it was a friends husband and he told her after their fling had finished.I feel like telling the parent but this would only add to my friends pain.I don't think she should get away with it either

katymac Tue 02-Aug-05 22:06:51

Well acording to my child protection course this would count as child abuse - and could possibly lead to prosecution

Tanzie Tue 02-Aug-05 22:08:37

My parents used to have sex in the same room as me when I was a child and we went on holiday and I shared their room. The noise used to wake me up.

They also used to lock me in the room at night and go out on the town.

Is that child abuse then?

katymac Tue 02-Aug-05 22:12:25

I'm not sure Tanzie - but to "abuse" (in it's other sence) the trust that the parent has in his/her C/Mer and to expose a child (not in the minders family) to scenes involving sex - I think would be classed as abuse

EG an older brother showing a younger sister porn could be considered abuse(in the eyes of the authorities)

CANTBELIVEIT Tue 02-Aug-05 23:01:02

friends dh would get dragged into it too though

WigWamBam Wed 03-Aug-05 09:20:51

So you're saying that it was the man who was in the car who told his wife, now that his fling with the childminder is over, and she has told you?

Sounds to me like someone, probably telling lies, trying to get a very nasty form of revenge for being dumped - it sounds as if he is trying to get this woman reported so that she loses her job. Keep as far out of this as you can.

vickiyumyum Wed 03-Aug-05 09:30:43

sorry to hijack, but yes tanzie locking you in your room while they go out, i see that as a form of abuse/neglect. what if there had been a fire or something (i know this is probably unlikely but you just never know and i know that i would neverr be able to forgive myself if soemthing like that had happened and i had locked my child in a room)

NannyL Wed 03-Aug-05 19:42:44

i agree tanzie.... that doessound like a form of child abuse (neglect) and would be completley unacceptable nowadays

(not that long ago childen were caned at school as well)

edam Wed 03-Aug-05 20:12:17

WWB's got a good point there. How do you know the man/his wife aren't just lashing out at the childminder in a really underhand way? I've known people who've been dumped by a doc trying to think up reasons for complaining to the GMC...

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