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15 month dd crying after being with CM for 10 weeks

(8 Posts)
rubles Wed 27-Jul-05 11:32:46

To all childminders/mothers out there - does it sound reasonable that dd could be suffering from late-onset separation anxiety. She started with the childminder very successfully at the beginning of May. I was feeling really quite satisfied about the whole arrangement because she even seemed happy to be arriving there and seeing the CM. This week, however, aged nearly 15months, she has kicked up a fuss when getting dropped off. She even hit the CM yesterday (deliberately, in anger). Apparently she is fine after a sing song, but I wonder why this is happening and I feel sorry for the childminder.
Is this common for everything to be alright and then get more difficult for them. There haven't been any other major changes in her life.

Xena Wed 27-Jul-05 11:36:18

I am a childminder and I haven't experienced this as I have always taken children on at 'an easy' age for settling i.e. baby or older child. However my own DD started playgroup at Easter and she was fine for the first half term and then started to cry when I left her, so it seems quite normal to me.

Xena Wed 27-Jul-05 11:36:35

Is she OK when you pick her up?

zubb Wed 27-Jul-05 11:37:13

IME they go through a stage of this, however well settled they have been - hasn't the CM seen it before?
Ds2 did this for a few weeks at about 18 months - but it was all for effect - if I hid behind the door I could see him suddenly stop crying as soon as he thought I was out of sight and start playing. He's fine again now, runs into her house without looking back!

rubles Wed 27-Jul-05 11:57:57

Thanks for your replies.
She does seem fine when I pick her up, glad to see me but only in a good way.
I am relieved to hear others have been through similar phases, and hopefully this will pass too. One thing that has occurred to me is that it is school holidays so she is on her own with the childminder now and there aren't lots of others around to distract and entertain her.

bigdonna Wed 27-Jul-05 15:56:59

i have looked after a little girl for 2yrs and 7mths she now crys some mornings when coming in,and when she goes home she is the child from hell.She tells me to shut up (not allowed in my house)and trys asking for everything i have said no to that day.This is a phrase as she seems only to test me in front of mum!!.She hits her mum and shouts at her too.

HellyBelly Wed 27-Jul-05 22:55:43

Same here bigdonna - my mindee is 2 yrs 5 months and is fine when she arrives, fine when mum leaves but plays up when mum picks up (even worse when daddy picks up!). I was gutted at first as she settled in straight away and had a great time (promise!) but when she got picked up it looked like I was a monster!!! Luckily the parents were aware of her phase and told me not to worry and that they could tell she had a good time here! She's still doing it but we laugh now. For example, I try to put her shoes on when mummy's here and suddenly she's shouting at me to leave her alone and demanding her mum do it . It's actually quite funny as sometimes they've arrived when she's been dancing around the room laughing and didn't realise my dh had answered the door - HAHA - caught her having fun!!

I can't comment on your situation but I'd say they certainly can play up for their parents benefit!

ThePrisoner Thu 28-Jul-05 00:37:54

Children love to become the children from hell when being collected. I think they are testing to see who is "in control" - the minder, who has supposedly been all day; or the parent, who is probably in control for everything else but, hey ho, this is someone else's house ...

Parents have been known to stand in my front garden and spy through the front window, just so they know that their children are not actually kicking seven bells out of anything that moves all the time.

Rubles - I have also had children who seemed to settle in really well, and then suddenly developed a fear of my front door/me, and it makes you paranoid that the parent must leave wondering what it is that their child is so terrified of!

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