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Paying grandparents(5 Posts)
Does anyone on here pay grandparennts to look after their children.My PIL currently pick up the children from school ( a 20 mile round trip) for me once a week and in the holidays are having at least one of them ( there are 3 )on average 1.5 days a week.In September my hours are increasing and they have offered to do the school run 3 days a wek to help me out plus some adhoc holiday care.We have agreed for this month to pay them £300 to cover petrol and care but on an ongoing basis will pay petrol plus £5 per hour.
Is this reasonable?
Plus how do people cope with the relationships aspect of this,I am finding it difficult as while I don't resent paying them and of course the petrol,my grandparents always did this for nothing also because we are related there is the difficulty pointing out things you would like done differently.For various reasons we also pay part of their mortgage for them as well ,this sounds ike i am fixated on money I hope I am not but I would be interested to know how others cope with this situation.
I think it is difficult to pay PIL because of tax rules? It may have changed, but we got round this by accepting their free help and buying them a thank you gift of a REALLY good holiday each year.
It used to be hard to point things out that I would have done differently (like take themm to groups etc as my Mum is very- how can I say?- not agoraphobic but not far off either), and I used to let them get on with it (my parents took the eldest from 9 weeks until I finished work for the third baby, which was about 3 years for six hours a day. Mum never worked before though). I got round the social thing by booking a playgroup as soon as they were old enough (Having to opt for a poor one initially as Mum didnt drive ).
I no longer use Mum as have moved and not currently working. She is looking after my nephew now, one for free for a few hours a week, and one full time (7.30 - 6) for a fefty sum. My sister tells Mum exactly what to do (swimming clubs etc) and Mum just does it. Wish I'd done that!! Sis says it's worth paying mum extra so she can be an 'employee' and she even gives her management reviews!!!!!!!
Yes the tax thing is on top and is a pain but they need the cash rather than a gift.We pay FIL and his income is very small and he is over retirement age tso this minimises it.
Could you take over some bills that he has to pay perhaps?
I think the reason DM gets a hefty payment now from my Sis is that BOTH dad's pensions went to the great pension plan in the sky- ie £250K saved = a £3000 compensation plan payment!!!
Perhaps you should ask your Mum (as did Sis) if she would like a time on amonthly nbasis for a coffee and a chat about how things are going with kids- she might have stuff to rasie with you too.
Philly if you get your Pil to get registered as childminders you can claim for childcare.On my cm course there were many grandparents on it .They did this to get more tax credits if you earn less than a certain amount you can claim 70% of it back .Its worth looking into.
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