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House Rules For Aupairs

(71 Posts)
highlight Wed 06-Jul-05 17:10:49

Hi we have a new Aupair and I'm just putting together a pack listing her duties and wanted to put in some house rules without sounding to draconian does anyone haave examples of house rules that I can adapt?

SoupDragon Wed 06-Jul-05 17:34:28

"no sex outside of your room" would be a good one going by a MNers experience

Ladymuck Wed 06-Jul-05 17:36:49

Don't leave your anti-depressants on kitchen table within reach of toddlers.

Don't eat all of my chocolate, especially when you can see that I savour it a couple of squares at a time. Defintiely do not wolf down my months supply in 10 minutes.

Do not make me entertain your parents as if I were old enough to be their age.

Flamesparrow Wed 06-Jul-05 17:38:28

Or if you are gonn ahave sex outside the room... double lock the front door so no-one can come home without you knowing!!!!

Blu Wed 06-Jul-05 17:46:06

Just explain the things you do and don't do in your house? Like smoking, wearing shoes on new white carpet, whatever?

The idea is they live as if they were a family member, isn't it? So explain what you do about locking the door, letting each otehr know when you will be in and out etc?

uwila Wed 06-Jul-05 18:35:01

But if you do have sex and a catch you on my living room carpet, it would be a good idea for you nice parner to buy me some flowers.

highlight Wed 06-Jul-05 21:33:01

Obviously no sex in my lounge after the the last aupair experience but probably won't write that one down!

celtic66 Wed 06-Jul-05 22:00:08

Hi,

We have a new Au pair started recently and based on past experience i have put together a loads of info. I never take it for granted how much AP understand. When written down in 'simple terms' its easier to understand.

when looking after DS and DD- included issues like displine - we don't smack
road saftey - how much the children understand.
limiting treats.
to tell me about any accidents.
Television
washing hands and brushing teeth.
encourage the kids to help tidy up.

General Stuff about what we expect.
Like freinds over to stay
staying out overnight - to let me know.
eating arrangements - help tidy up after meals even at weekends if the join us for a meal.
bacially wanted to get the message across that it not a hotel at weekends, Its their home too, and that means mucking in.
Telephone calls and how much we pay on the mobile.
Using the car.
Petrol

Emergency numbers and other number like school/nursery
house alarm

First Aid for children simple illustrations thats printed off a website ( hopefully never needed)

It does look harsh on paper but easier in the long run and everyone knows where they stand. I think when they get to know you better they soon realize we are not that bad.. and I am a nice person. at least I hope!!!

MrsWobble Thu 07-Jul-05 15:32:44

same as celtic really. it's a bit daunting as it runs to 4 typed pages - but it seems better to spell out our expectations at the beginning. we always give it to her to read and ask if there's anything that doesn't seem fair or sensible as we're happy to consider changes.

i don't mind sharing it if you give me an email address.

Caligula Thu 07-Jul-05 15:35:18

Please shower every day and wear deodorant.

dizzydo Mon 11-Jul-05 14:28:43

House Rules - see below - I will probably get lynched for these but they work for us. I also list things on my House Rules like where they can iron (i.e. not on the carpet in their bedroom - our aupair's room now sports a huge burn thanks to a previous occupant), whether or not they can use the phone and when i.e. I dont want to act as her receptionist after a hard day at work and end up running up and down the stairs to her room every five minutes. I also list hygiene things like please change the bed every week and dust your room etc otherwise some will never do it and if its not written down it's difficult to raise - However of course all that stuff is a personal thing so I have not included it here. Oh and also dont wash my cashmere jumpers on boil wash or put them in the dryer and dont put your jeans in with my white towels etc (sound familiar anyone).
So here goes:

HOUSE RULES

1. SMOKING
Smoking is forbidden anywhere in the house or garden either by you or any of your friends who may visit. These are strict house rules and there are no variations.

2 If you are staying out overnight please let us know beforehand. This is so we do not worry about you and also so we can set the alarm.

3. If you are unsure about anything at all, the children’s routine, what cleaning materials to use, how to use the machines etc.please, please ask. We would much rather explain something to you a few times than have expensive disasters happen!

4. If you want to have a friend (girlfriends only) to stay overnight, please ask our permission first. Please ensure you wash the bedlinen and iron it afterwards and put it back on the bed.

5. We would ask that you seek our permission before you invite your friends into our house and we would expect to be introduced to them on their first visit. Never go out and leave friends alone in our house. (yes, it has been done).

6. SECURITY: - Please make sure that you always set the alarm EVERY time you go out. If you are the last person in at night please make sure that you set the night alarm before you go upstairs to bed.

7. When you are alone in the house or alone with the children, please always deadlock the front door.

8. IMPORTANT - Please do not allow anyone into the house when we are not at home for whatever reason. Ask callers to call again. There are no exceptions to this rule. This is a strict house rule and it must be observed.

9. Never allow the children to go off with anyone unless it has been pre-arranged with me. If in any doubt, ALWAYS telephone me first to check.

10. Never ever leave the children alone in the house or allow them to play outside in the street without you being there.

11 MANNERS – Please make sure that the children say please and thank you for things they ask you for. They normally will do this automatically. Remember also to say please and thank you to them. If they are rude to you, tell them so and say you are unhappy with them, (then tell us). Please discuss this with us if you have any problems.

12. Smacking is strictly forbidden.

13. TIMEKEEPING - It is very important that you are on time each morning and for School collection. There is very little time between breakfast and leaving for school. You must please be punctual.

Ameriscot2005 Mon 11-Jul-05 14:33:43

I don't really have any house rules for the au pair. I am at home and just tell them how I want things done in the first few days.

dizzydo Mon 11-Jul-05 14:59:33

Agree with you Ameriscot, if you can be at home for a few days when they arrive it does get the whole thing off the ground much quicker and smoother than written rules ever can.

Also I have found from bitter experience that it is far better if you dont like the way the do something to say so immediately rather than let it build up until it is driving you crazy.

lisalisa Mon 11-Jul-05 15:03:49

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dizzydo Mon 11-Jul-05 15:11:13

I love this bit they always trot out about not being treated as part of the family when something you ask of them does not suit.

We ask our AP not to use our phone for arranging meetings atc with friends because it is really annoying in my book having someone on the phone all the time when you want to use it. I do give my AP a mobile and put £10 a month on it but the deal is she is always in credit to call me if necessary or pick up messages which costs on Orange. I ask her to get all her friends here to ring on the mobile.

What about getting her to buy one of those cheap phone cards that you can get from the newsagents I think (if you want I'll ask my AP where she gets hers) they do need to use the phone to call but it doesnt cost you anything because they enter the number on the card. That works quite well for us as regards them phoning home but you will need to make sure she's not asking to use the phone every five minutes.

dizzydo Mon 11-Jul-05 15:11:14

I love this bit they always trot out about not being treated as part of the family when something you ask of them does not suit.

We ask our AP not to use our phone for arranging meetings atc with friends because it is really annoying in my book having someone on the phone all the time when you want to use it. I do give my AP a mobile and put £10 a month on it but the deal is she is always in credit to call me if necessary or pick up messages which costs on Orange. I ask her to get all her friends here to ring on the mobile.

What about getting her to buy one of those cheap phone cards that you can get from the newsagents I think (if you want I'll ask my AP where she gets hers) they do need to use the phone to call but it doesnt cost you anything because they enter the number on the card. That works quite well for us as regards them phoning home but you will need to make sure she's not asking to use the phone every five minutes.

Ameriscot2005 Mon 11-Jul-05 15:16:25

I think it's appropriate to let her call home for something like 10 minutes once a week. Beyond that they need to pay for calls, use their mobiles, send email or write a letter.

My au pairs have all come with their own mobiles, and it is easy enough to get a sim card so that they are not continuously making international calls everytime they want to call their mates in the next town. Their friends and family members use email.

My first au pair abused our phone in the last couple of months, and I docked it from her last weeks' pocket money.

lisalisa Mon 11-Jul-05 15:32:58

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Ameriscot2005 Mon 11-Jul-05 15:35:57

Do you have itemised phone bills, Lisa? If so, you'll know what she has spent and can then deduct it from her pocket money.

Another idea is if you have digital handsets, you can programme them to not dial international calls, reserving the one in your own bedroom for your own convenience.

dizzydo Mon 11-Jul-05 15:42:00

Lisa, I have an account with OneTel and you can go onto their website and check calls and the charge right up to the day before which I always do.

Dorrit Mon 11-Jul-05 15:47:48

Lisa,
If I remember correctly, you have four kids, two adults, an au pair, and a nanny living under one roof. Do you guys all use the same phone line? Or do you have a second one for kids/nanny/au pair?

I think it's reasonable for an au pair to expect to make local calls on the family phone. But, not necessarily international ones.

What does your nanny do? Does she live by the same rules.priviledges as the au pair. So if you bought one a mobile phone, whould you have to buy another?

lisalisa Mon 11-Jul-05 16:02:37

Message withdrawn

lisalisa Mon 11-Jul-05 16:03:14

Message withdrawn

dizzydo Mon 11-Jul-05 16:21:16

Lisa, I have been lucky enough not to have to do that so far but I would if the AP had been doing that because IMO it's tantamount to stealing.

Think you ought to be fair with your AP and say it is not really your responsibility that her phone doesnt work. Could you buy her a new SIM and then deduct it for a few weeks from her pocket money.

dizzydo Mon 11-Jul-05 16:21:55

Ooops - I meant "firm" not fair.

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