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Please be careful

(27 Posts)
Richa Fri 17-Jun-05 13:27:41

Hello all. I posted a few days ago about a nanny who grabbed my dd's wrist. I had a good sitdown with the both of them and thought I had it sorted. Got home the other night to nanny saying dd was 'awful' because she didn't listen to her (strange, because the other days dd was apparently 'lovely'). She then subjected me to the most incredible verbal abuse, which I am still in shock over.

She's advertising on gumtree as a Nanny with 5 years experience (not true). Please be careful if you are looking for a sole charge nanny. She has never been left alone with a child, because the mothers have always been or worked at home. I won't write her email, but I would be happy to mail out personally if necessary.

I was so desperate for childcare that I thought it was just a blip and we could all get over it. But, that was not the case.

When I posted, I got most of you saying get rid of her. I should have listened then. However, I have now and will def learn by the experience.

Please be careful. x

mishmash Fri 17-Jun-05 13:34:37

Richa - you have my full sympathy on this one. Been there, done that, wore the tee-shirt but should hopefully come out the other side and put it down to just an awful experience in my life.

PhDMumof1 Fri 17-Jun-05 13:37:47

PLease please please can people name and shame - otherwise we can't use nannyjob etc anymore without knowing what we are getting!!

Richa Fri 17-Jun-05 13:37:59

Gosh, Mishmash, my hands are still shaking.. I am so amazed that people can get away with such behaviour. If I treated anyone that way, I'd def lose friends and my job. My poor dd, she had to put up with a work of ths girl. I'm sure she'll be booking into therapy soon.

PhDMumof1 Fri 17-Jun-05 13:38:28

Sorry I should say that I am really sorry for what happened, I hope that she has gone and that you are OK for childcare now. Your poor DD.

Richa Fri 17-Jun-05 13:40:04

Sorry, I meant dd had to put up for a week with this girl. And phd, I agree with a name and sheme, but I'm not sure about the legal implications. What do you think?

jmb1964 Fri 17-Jun-05 13:40:13

sorry to hear about this richa - what a horrible experience. We are trying to recruit someone at the moment. Whereabouts are you?

Richa Fri 17-Jun-05 13:43:01

We're in South west london jmb1964. I've put an ad in Gumtree and Nannyjob and have been inundated with 'Nannies' who have absolutely no sole charge experience all wanting £8-10 p/hr!! How have you found it?

binkie Fri 17-Jun-05 13:59:31

Richa, yes that is the problem with those sites - you do get deluges of applicants, and the possibles are very hidden among the impossibles. I think I said this somewhere else, but having done a nanny search recently, we tried gumtree, nannyjob and agencies - and had to accept that the agency candidates (+ fees ) were the right ones for us.

So sorry about the fright you and dd have been through.

PS people have used the "blacklist" on greataupair.com to name & shame, even when the nanny in question isn't advertising on there - possibly because people doing website recruiting will also look there.

Richa Fri 17-Jun-05 14:06:44

Thanks Binkie, sadly, I cannot afford agency fees. Just too high in this area. However, if time runs out, it may be an option.

jmb1964 Fri 17-Jun-05 15:37:28

Thanks Richa - we're in Scotland, so unlikely to meet your charmless nanny. We have registered with a couple of agencies, also posted on gumtree and nannyjob. Millions of useless replies from the former, but one very possible person we are seeing this afternoon. When I posted on nannyjob I found our job on there twice from the SN agency as well! Hope anyone who sees it will come direct to me rather than letting the agency pocket their exorbitant fee (which incidentally is about twice as much as our local agency charges). It's all very unsettling, I lie awake at night worrying about it .. But last night went on a school Mums' night out and found a very effective way of blotting it all out for a few hours!

Richa Fri 17-Jun-05 16:37:20

Thank goodness for alchohol and good friends, jmb1964! Don't lie awake, things will balance themselves out. I really think there is a lack of good childcarers: or there are, but they are charging an amazing amount of money.

If you've advertised on Nannyjob and a nanny comes through, then you should negotiate with the agency.

I wish you well. Here's to a stree-free weekend!

MizZan Fri 17-Jun-05 17:03:07

richa, I am really sorry for your bad experience.

If it's any help, we live in SW London too and had good luck finding a part-time Czech nanny (not qualified, but plenty of experience, great references and she's been absolutely wonderful with my own 3 year old) through Simply Childcare. They have a website which gives info about their newsletter, I think it comes out every 2 weeks and there are usually lots of jobs and applicants for the SW london area.

I too tried gumtree and found it useless as most people simply didn't post enough info and appeared to be pretty inexperienced or not really serious. Tried looking on nannyjob a few times but didn't really see anyone that seemed suitable. Found Simply Childcare more useful though to be honest we had better luck responding to ads from nannies in there rather than just waiting for people to respond to our ad. They're not all fab, btw - we had plenty of no-shows for interviews etc., but I think that's kind of par for the course.

Richa Fri 17-Jun-05 17:25:03

Thank you MizZan. I would need someone to start in the next 3 weeks, so will try it to see who's looking in the magazine.

If you're looking for a nanny-share if your nanny knows of anyone who is lovely, then, please let me know! I've got to say Gumtree is turning out to be a bit of a trawling exercise.

Thanks again, had not thought of Simply Childcare.

goldenoldie Fri 17-Jun-05 18:34:16

Richa - sorry you and dd had to go through such a dreadful experience, but as you say, you won't make the same mistake twice.

Re - you nanny lying about her experience, it never fails to amaze me how few families ring old families for a confidental chat before employing someone.

A few years ago I got a call out of the blue from a mother who had employed our old au-pair for about six months as a sole charge nanny to two small children. Although a nice enough personality, had no chilcare qualifications, and you can't do police checks on people from Eastern Europe - so you've no idea what they have been upto in their own country - so beware.

This mother never bothered to ring me before employing this girl. Anyway, during a family hliday to Spain they left her, alone in the rented villa, with the children. Later in the day they came home to find the au-pair in the midst of a full blown epileptic fit on the floor, with the toddlers playing, unsupervised besides the outdoor pool!

Pure luck had averted disaster as one of the children could have easily drowned.

Needless to say the nanny had ommitted to tell her she was a epileptic, and on medication, and the mother had never bother to ring me to find out more about the person she was letting into her home and sharing her most treasured possesions with...............

Aero Fri 17-Jun-05 19:06:13

Maybe you could advertise your position in a magazine such as Nursery World. The people who buy that are likely to be qualified and/or experienced.
I was a nanny many years ago in SW London and my job was advertised in 'The Lady' magazine. I stayed with that family for five years. I can't imagine it would cost as much as an agency to advertise there and of course you'd have to do your own checking refs etc, but you should get a general feeling of like or dislike with applicants over the phone and then if you choose to take it further, when you meet for interview. You should meet for interview more than once, both when you can speak in peace and when everyone is around to see how that person gets on in general with the children and your dh.
I'm very sorry you had such a bad experience and hope you find the person you're looking for very soon.

tamula Fri 17-Jun-05 19:27:18

I am 12 years experienced and qualified as a nanny and have been on all the best agencies books and on gumtree. I am a superb nanny and love children, have had no run-ins with parents and am not a liar.

Its hit and miss out there, and I can assure you that not all experienced and qualified nanny's on agencies are as top notch as you would expect, some are down right awful and some fab, it really is a very difficult thing finding a nanny that suits you and your family and lives up to your expectations. But one would always expect them to be honest, this nanny sounds bloody awful. Rotter. I am very sorry for your experience.

PhDMumof1 Fri 17-Jun-05 19:33:58

Sorry have been away from desk - legal implications, I have no idea, but surely we all need to protect ourselves and help each other to find out the dodgy employees.

I have had a bad experience recently with a national agency sending me someone totally unsuitable, whom a local agency had turned down because her sole charge references were rubbish. She then got back in touch with me after I had posted on nannyjob in despair.

I have gone back to my original caution when employing and am sticking to one national (not the one that sent me the rubbish one) and one local agency only, who have managed to send me through some far more suitable candidates.

PhDMumof1 Fri 17-Jun-05 19:35:27

Our current nanny, who really is excellent, prefers to go via an agency, in the hope that some of the families are "filtered" as well!

NannyL Fri 17-Jun-05 20:21:12

Can i say that their ARE successes on nannyjob!

Me and my current job for example...

my boss went through to agencies (on of which i was WITH!) (tho they never bothered to call me...

after 6 weeks she was desperate... put ad on nannyjob (which i saw!) and contacted her! Yes she said she got LOADS of people with no experiance etc.... but 6 months along the line we are both VERY happy!

Also 2 weeks after i had ACCEPTED the job the agancy called me about the job.... then they expected her to PAY THEIR FEES because they had got a nanny from their books!

It took a lot of pursasion on her (and MY part) that the agancy had done NOTHING and did not deserve a penny!

so beware, agencies may not be perfect either... they had well over a month to tell me about the PERFECT job for me 10 mins away from my house and they failed!

Oh and to original message sorry to here that... sounds like she is best got rid of!
hope you find a ncier nanny soon! We DO exist!

bigdonna Fri 17-Jun-05 22:48:18

hi richa,i was a nanny for 16 yrs before having my own children.Ihope you find a nice nanny soon!.What exactly are you looking for as i am still in contact with lots of old friends who are nannies.Maybe i can put the feelers out for you.i was a nanny in sw3,sw1,sw12,sw11,sw16,sw19.I know of a few nannies whom the employers have given them references and they were horrible.One nanny had 14 yrs experience and was trained ,but she was not the full shilling!.She was always hitting the kids in front of me .I stopped her and told her employer,her employer did not believe me.Two weeks later they told me she was stealing from them and she had a new job in north london.She should have not got a reference what other small children has she abused?.sorry got carried away.

Chyla Sat 18-Jun-05 16:01:53

Richa, where are you?

Richa Mon 20-Jun-05 10:53:13

Hi again. I don't use the internet at the weekend, so sorry I've not been around. What a fantastic response.

The 'nanny' turned up on Friday night asking for half a days money that I owed her. My dd answered the door and nearly fainted in shock. The girl showed no remorse. I could not believe her cheek, having given me and my dd all that abuse, then turning up for £30...My blood ran cold.

I placed an ad in gumtree and nannyjob and out of 3 interviews I arranaged on Saturday, only 1 girl showed up. She had no nanny expererience - so no refs. She was a teacher back in NZ, but again no refs and then she wanted £400. I rang a few refs beforehand and the mothers told that I just wanted housekeeping, then their old aupairs who now thought they were nannies would be ideal!! What is going on??!

I am thinking of taking this situation to my local MP. I am shocked that girls are expecting to look after children with no ability. I understand, NannyL, that there are nannies out there. 2 years ago, I found an amazing Nanny from the site, who stayed with us for a year and we are still in touch with her. We parted because I couldn't offer her a FT job. So, I know, they exist and have a genuine love of children.

In the meantime, I would love if any of you could put the feelers out in SW19. But, please be careful when you're interviewing and the advice you've given is, without question, something I have taken to heart.

bigdonna Mon 20-Jun-05 11:17:12

hi richa what exactly are yoy looking for p/t or f/t and what age is your dd?I have a nanny friend coming around for lunch today.She has lots of experience and fantastic refs.She is working as reflexoligist at the moment but also does nannying as well .

Richa Mon 20-Jun-05 11:34:05

Hi BD, I'm looking for a p/t nanny. Would love for you to have a chat with her - thank you!

I've not around today, but you can contact me directly through here (I think).

Fingers crossed x

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