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Need advice please, nanny with own child leaving DD with CM!!

(10 Posts)
fairimum Fri 30-Oct-09 11:26:22

Need some advise pretty please?? Even though pretty sure this isn't really the right place!!

I am working as a nanny and taking 17 month DD with me, have been working since she was months.

Day to day is great but she has never really been left with any one else, as she comes to work with me... a few odd hours with my best friend (but not for the last 5ish months) and once in August we left her with DH's parents for the day - we were only about 15 mins away and they had been given instructions to call if she was upset and would come and get her or to bring her back to us - we called about 4 times and they said she was fine.... turns out that wasn't the case and screamed most of the time and only slept when passed out exhausted...

Now comes the problem, chances are I am going to need to be in hospital before/after new baby arrives in March/April time and will need to leave her with family/friends - I know it needs to be a gradual thing but friends/family not local enough to be able to leave her with on a regular basis for her to get used to it - SOOOOOO have come to the conclusion that a couple of mornings with childminder friend (Looney who is FAB!!!)is probably the way forward - we have previously spent quite abit of time with her at her house/days out etc, I trust her totally, she is a fab CM and I know she has the children's best interests at heart etc. and she has some morning spaces between now and xmas and then afternoons after xmas we can have.... soooo.... do i take her up on the offer even though I know DD will scream and hate it (although know will get used to it) - problem is after leaving her with DHs mum she wouldnt let me out of her sight for weeks and was up half the night unsettled etc.... I don't want to upset everything else if i don't need to.... but i do need to don't I? Is she going to hate me for it? I just need to know what the right thing to do is???? getting myself in a real tizz about it, but need to make a decision... The thing is I am really really not OTT 'perfect firstborn' with her at all with regards to anything, but I am really struggling with this... Guess just want to hear if I am doing/not doing the right thing!!
thank you

ninja Fri 30-Oct-09 11:33:06

I think you're doing the right thing.

Is there a toddler group that you and she go to that would be a familiar surroundings to leave her in at first?

fairimum Fri 30-Oct-09 11:36:55

We do go to alot of the same places and have been to her house loads of times before so sure she will be fine.... I think! I think i am just shocked that I feel like this as never expected to feel so guilty! Guess that's all part of being mum

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 30-Oct-09 12:47:24

yes you do need to and looney sounds great

looneytune Fri 30-Oct-09 13:41:40

blushblushblushblushblush Just read this!!! grin

Look hun, I'll be totally honest with you and phone you if you want. I'll put up with the crying and just update you when you come - whatever you choose but I PROMISE top tell you as it is. Just come and spend loads more time with us asap wink

And big hugs, horrible to feel this way and you've got added hormones!!

Oh and yes, you are SOOOOO not a PFB mum so I'm pretty sure it's the hormones and everything else going on.

Looney xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

argento Fri 30-Oct-09 15:18:34

It'll be fine! How about starting out really small and working up from there? Just leave her for 15 minutes at first while you're in another room, then build it up.

fairimum Fri 30-Oct-09 15:29:49

Thanks Looney (and everyone else!!) - I know it is the right thing to do just feel SO guilty about it - just needed someone to tell me I am not going to scar her for life etc!! Think just need to get on with it, rather than keep thinking about it!

HSMM Fri 30-Oct-09 16:23:08

She'll be fine. Looney will lock her in her understairs cupboard and let her out when you come back (only joking, people who don't know Looney). It'll be much harder for you than it is for her. She'll soon settle and have a great time.

looneytune Fri 30-Oct-09 18:45:52

Oh yeah, the cupboard, why didn't I think of that - I'm used to locking them in the shed but I don't think the neighbours like the noise??!!! hmm

looneytune Sat 31-Oct-09 09:07:58

Just wanted to sat that it would be really good if you came to drop in on Tuesday. I won't be at Monday group as Inset Day and not sure if Wednesday group is back on yet but I'll be going to Thursday group. Try and see us as much as possible and I like the suggestion of being here but going out of the room for a bit xx

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