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I have a 15mth old girl full-time and my own 13mths old DS. I occasionally mind another girl aged 18mths but it is the 15mth old girl I am having difficulties with. She keeps on smacking the other children whenever they come anywhere near her and it's driving me potty! My DS walked passed her the other day and turned to look at her and she hit him over and over agin in the face. Ds was too stunned to move out of her way and just stood there crying until I intervened!
I just don't know what to do with her. I have tried saying 'NO' firmly, consistently, removing her from the action, ignoring it (within reason) distracting her and holding her arms down whenever another child passes by so that she doesn't hit them but nothing is working!
I know she is only young and I'm sure she will grow out if it but I need to do something about it now before she scares the other children!
She will also hit me in the face if she is having a strop but I try and ignore that as much as I can. It doesn't hurt me but it alarms and hurts the other children and I don't feel she should be allowed to continue it.
I expect her mother had probably smacked her in the past or does smack her and she has just picked it up from there.
Any advice much appreciated, thanks.
She might not necessarily have been smaacked in the past; our DD went through a smacking phase at a similar age and just slapped people (aunties/grnadparents etc) when they picked her up to cuddle her! We didn't smack her- she just did it.
If I was parent of one of the other children, I'd be upset if they were being smacked regularly but I'm not entirely sure what you could do to stop her at that age.
Could you pick her up and take her into another room and not give her any attention and say "you are on your own because you hurt the other children". I think at 15months, she might get the pattern after a while of being put on her own.
does she do it at home (or with her parents)? How does mum deal with it?
Agree you are totally wrong to assume she has been smacked and so is smacking at this age, ds went through a major smacking phase at the same age, in his case he was just frustrated and that was his only means of communicating, as soon as he had a few words it died down.
Thats said you do need to 'discipline' her in some way, stop her smacking say 'no' and then shower smacked child with attention while ignoring her for a moment, perhaps?
Agree that this is very likely not because she has been smacked at home. She may have been of course, but lots of kids do this regardless of home ime.
I think you're wrong to say 'nothing's working' - she is only 15 months, still only a baby and she hasn't yet got that understanding of other people's needs. She's all 'ego' at this point and that's just normal. You just need to keep on keeping on until she gets it. Just because she is not getting it doesn't mean you're not doing the right thing. Sounds as if you are getting it just right, to me.
Keep doing what you are doing it's the right way to handle it. I would also speak to parents and see how they deal with it at home, if you both do the same thing the message will sink in in the end.
Try doing lots of group games that include sharing, it may help integrate her a bit more into the group, and lots of praise and stickers / stampers when she does something nice.
Thanks for all the advice.
I will keep trying with the no attention for bad behaviour element of it and heap praise on her at other times.
I was misleading in the way I phrased the statement about being smacked at home. I do know she has been smacked because her mum has told me she has smacked her hands when she is being 'naughty' so apologies for that.
slowreading- you are right about that. Just because it doesn't seem to be working right now it doesn't mean it won't. It just feels like it when you have seen her smack for the hundreth time that hour!
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