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OMG my temp nanny who has 28 years experience left me this note in the diary.......

(191 Posts)
theoriginalmummypoppins Wed 21-Oct-09 10:15:34

' DS was disappointed that no one was able to watch his rugby match today. He said what is the point of having parents if they never come to see me '

shock

Ladyatron Wed 21-Oct-09 10:16:23

OMG!

Lifeinagoldfishbowl Wed 21-Oct-09 10:16:53

Well if it's something he's said why are you shocked at the nanny I would be looking at trying to do more with your son and or talking to him at least.

Jujubean77 Wed 21-Oct-09 10:17:12

oh dear!

MamaG Wed 21-Oct-09 10:17:37

What's the issue here: the fact that nanny wrote it, or that DS said it? Either way I'd be GLAD it had been brought to my attention so I could deal with it.

Surely you would wnat to know something like this?

wingandprayer Wed 21-Oct-09 10:18:11

What are you shocked about? The fact she told you or the fact he said it?

Personally would want to know if son was making such comments, and perhaps considering if he had any grounds to do so.

Lifeinagoldfishbowl Wed 21-Oct-09 10:18:40

Agree with MamaG

ShowOfHands Wed 21-Oct-09 10:19:35

Good on her. Probably better face to face but if your ds said it then it's important she pass it on.

MamaG Wed 21-Oct-09 10:19:40

wingandprayer - grin - almost same reply there

theoriginalmummypoppins Wed 21-Oct-09 10:19:45

the fact that she wrote it. With no other discsussion or comment.

the more professional and sensitive way to deal with it would surely have been to mention it in not so strong words and say how she responded to him.

Especially as its in her job description to watch him !!

Fruitbatlings Wed 21-Oct-09 10:19:52

aw, poor DS sad
Well done to your nanny for bringing it to your attention though!

hatwoman Wed 21-Oct-09 10:21:11

on the nanny: I would hazard that that is why she's temping...a kind and gentle word (spoken, not written) would have been much more appropriate.

on ds - it is a very sad thing for him to have said - but on teh basis of the info in your post I can't really comment

Fruitbatlings Wed 21-Oct-09 10:21:33

"Especially as its in her job description to watch him"

Sounds as though he wanted his Parents to watch, rather than your nanny

MamaG Wed 21-Oct-09 10:22:10

Maybe she does everything in writing so there's a record? It could be how she was trained, maybe you're not very approachable, maybe she was in a rush etc etc.

I wouldn't get so hung up on the fact that she wrote it down instead of talking to you, I'd be trying to deal with the ISSUE, that is that your son is feeling upset

kitsmummy Wed 21-Oct-09 10:22:20

I don't think she was out of order for writing it at all, and think perhaps you're being overly sensitive because it's touched a nerve.

MarshaBrady Wed 21-Oct-09 10:22:38

It may be in her job description, but your ds doesn't have one, and will still have feelings about it.

Talk to him, forget about being outraged at temp nanny.

dinkystinkystein Wed 21-Oct-09 10:23:05

I'd expect my nanny to tell me in person if my kids said that - but maybe she didnt have time to do so, so put it in the book? - so I could address it. Really feel for your DS though - my folks never came to watch me in matches at school either and I know how it sucks when all your friends parents are there yelling on the sidelines...

MamaG Wed 21-Oct-09 10:23:26

If she was a permanent fixture, then you could say to her that you'd prefer to chat about something like this in future, but as she isn't just let it go, be glad that she brought it to your attention and focus on that.

theoriginalmummypoppins Wed 21-Oct-09 10:24:08

quite hat woman. She has known me 10 days and the way in which she handled it was that she was confirming his crticism of me .

Totally unprofessional in my view.

If i wasnt working I could easily stand on the sidelines !! But then she wouldnt have a job !

wingandprayer Wed 21-Oct-09 10:24:28

So, Originalmummypoppins you would rather she lied to you or made more of an effort to spare your feelings?

I think you're missing the point somewhat

LadyGlencoraPalliser Wed 21-Oct-09 10:24:30

"It's in her job description to watch him!"
Words fail me.
You should be addressing this issue with your son, not displacing your anger on the nanny. Perhaps what she wrote was a bit blunt, but now you know this is an issue for your DS you need to talk to him about it and not focus on the exact form of words the nanny used to tell you about it.

LouIsAWeetbixKid Wed 21-Oct-09 10:24:32

Ok so she may have been a bit abrupt in her manner but maybe subtle hints have not been working and this was a last ditch effort??

mananny Wed 21-Oct-09 10:25:41

Maybe your DS said those exact words and she was merely relaying them to you? Either way you ought to have a gentle chat with your DS rather than ask your temp nanny to sugar coat emotional issues in your children. Maybe she could have let you know he felt that way a little more tactfully but tbh I think the nanny has done you a favour by acknowledging the issue and giving you a chance to discuss it with your son.

theoriginalmummypoppins Wed 21-Oct-09 10:28:29

She had a long discussion with DH when he got home last night about other things.

But then this is the same temp nanny that ripped the page out of his geography homework book last Friday night because she said he had done it all wrong and he should start again. he was gutted.

Having spent an hour shivering at football training on Saturday and my DH 3 hours coaching his under 9 rugby team on Sunday morning I am not concerned by his comment. Both my children know that we cannot support matches in the week due to work commitments but will do all we can at the weekends for them.

hatwoman Wed 21-Oct-09 10:29:32

theoriginal...looks like you're in for a drumming! no-one on here knows anything about your situation - apart from the fact that you have a nanny and that you didn't watch this match...

I had a nanny once who wrote things down rather than talk to me and I think that unless you've experienced that it's very hard to understand how deeply unpleasant it can be. writing stuff like this is not a good way of nanny and parent communicating about important things and working together as a team to address any problems. from the info it could be the case that she did this because there's never time to talk - I don;t know. Try to make sure you make time to talk (if you don't already). If you already do make time then you could remind her what things you'd like to use it for and what things are more appropriate for the diary.

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