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HELP! Is it a phase?

(9 Posts)
mrscactus Thu 15-Oct-09 15:27:21

My 2 and a 1/2 year old son has been goin to the CM 2 days a week since he was 1, but in the last 3 weeks he has been VERY upset about going.
I'm currently at home on mat leave with no 2 so he is aware I am there.
Am just worried there is something not right at the minders and he hasn't not the words to tell me. She's ok, but not superb.....

I really need to know please if others have children who went throug a similar phase.
Apparently he's fine once there.......

argento Thu 15-Oct-09 15:34:23

Could it just be that he knows you are at home and would rather be with you?

mrscactus Thu 15-Oct-09 15:37:25

Hard to say. He had the summer holidays with me full time, but jas been back with her since the start of September and it's just awful listening to him. This morning he was screaming and writhing against me as I was trying to put him in her car (they go off and do a pick up and then on to an activity).

Danthe4th Thu 15-Oct-09 15:47:41

Sounds like he wants to be with mum, if you don't need him to go then I would have a break and start again with his sibling nearer to the time you go back to work, unless is he due to start at a playgroup, perhaps you could use this time to get him settled there. Or you just keep sending him and hope he settles again.

I'd also assume it was that he knows you are home, stress about new baby going on.
Are you intending your DC to go the CM still for the whole of maternity leave?

barleycorn Thu 15-Oct-09 18:09:40

Oh god mrscactus, we had this with ds1 last year at the same age. It was horrible. I was going off on mat leave at the time so had the 'luxury' of being able to pull him out, then settle him into a nursery a couple of months later, which he loves.

I was worried to death at the time of what may have happened, but put it down to his 'older' (3+) friends going on to preschool and him being stuck with a load of babies. However, now that he's got more language skills, he sometimes makes the odd comment about cm shouting at him to 'shush and go to sleep'; thinking about it it was the time that he gave up his afternoon nap, and it was the only time the cm had a minute's peace in the day (from what I could see) so it does fit. Makes me sad to think about it now, I persevered for much longer than 3 weeks and should have listened to him / my instincts sooner.

mrscactus Thu 15-Oct-09 22:11:42

My mat leave doesn't come to an end until April (DS2 is 6 months) and we're off to see friends in the States at the end of the year so he'll only be there until mid December but I must admit I am wondering whether to just pull him out (Will go to new nursery when I go back to work anyway..).
But am also aware that DS2 would then get no time alone with me on a 1 to 1.

Could it be a phase re attachment - or a similar problem to barleycorn's in which case I nee dto pull him out asap while I'm lucky enough to have the option?

argento Thu 15-Oct-09 22:18:10

At 2.5 years, I think if he's suddenly getting upset then it's either because something has changed at home or something has changed at the CMs.

It could be a reaction to the new baby, and he knows you are at home and he would rather be with you. Or something is happening at the CMs which is upsetting him. How is he when you collect him? Does the CM say he settles quickly and is happy while he's there?

2.5 is very little to be going somewhere that makes you miserable. If you can have him at home I would consider that. DS2 will be fine sharing yoo.

mrscactus Thu 15-Oct-09 22:34:27

c says he's fine and settles almost as soon as I have gone, but am just worried she's being too brusque.
He is ok when I go to collect him - usually just gets upset it's me and not Dad!

WHen I ask him if he has had a good time at hers after he has come home he says yes.
So perhaps I'm worrying unnecessarily... and should just emphasise with him that we have fun on the other days. I deliberately don't talk to him about what I do with DS2.

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