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Ok so please someone slap me?(5 Posts)
Ok we have an au pair who had been with us for 6 months. She is great with the kids. Fits in well with the family in general. She is with us for another 6 months in plans. However just lately she has struck up let's say poor choices in friends. Best described as the clicky crew .... If you know what I mean. So first slap I know j cannot choose her friends and need to bite my tongue ... Till it bleeds. So first worry a couple of weeks ago she drove one of our cars home after a night on the grog with these friends who all drink alot and encourage her to also do so. I have no doubt she drove over the limit. obviously if she got caught insurance issues, and no use to us as an au pair. I politely pointed out my concerns. They were pretty much flung back at me. Tonight she is out again. Well has been out since yesterday morning. And now being this being Australia it is now nearly nine pm and still not home and I have work in the morning. So slap mr again because I am paranoid she will have been on the grog again and may not even make it home tonight. So stress central. She really has been great for the first 5 months. But is now just in with a wrong bunch ,..... And they are not a young bunch! ... Is it just I am mad... Is there just an optimum time to keep an au pair? She wants to disscuss a second year but j felt it may not be for the best. Please au pair experts give me a few good slaps and maybe slap me back to reality :0)
you cannnot choose her friends for her and you cannot dictate what she does in her spare time. However, there is no way you should allow her to take the car on a night out if she is going to be having alchohol. Call me prim and proper but I never have so much as a small glass of wine or a shandy if I am driving.
Also, if she drinks heavily in the late evning is she then driving your kids about the next morning? Or even is she incharge of your kids whilst hung over or still over the limit?
Can you change the deal, so the car is only available for work?
She uses your car to go out - fine - but then drives it when drunk? Not fine.
Warning time I think.
<ex au pair/mother's help/nanny>
I would have taken away the use of the car out of work hours after she drove home drunk the first time (and I live rurally so an au pair without a car would be very stuck socially). Would also be giving her a lecture on not getting into cars with drunk friends and asking her to check the next of kin details that she has given me 'so I know who to call when she ends up in a ditch or in jail'.
But on the subject of poor choices of friends - nothing you can do about that..au pairs are young and they make mistakes and it can be awful watching sometimes and wishing they would make better choices - but that's growing up for you.
On the subject of optimal time to keep an au pair - I know I have read posts on her by experienced au pair hosts who say that 6 months is optimal and then they start going 'stale', so far we haven't keep an au pair over 6 months, although current au pair planned to stay for 9...so I'll have to wait til January to see if what they say is true
Lots of commiserations for you - not a nice situation to be in..and hope she gets back (and your car gets back) safely tonight.
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