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Should i pay aupair?

(14 Posts)
Totallyfloaty35 Mon 14-Sep-09 12:02:07

Aupair leaving tomorrow,she started work this morning,so has done 2hrs.She seems to think that shadowing old aupair constitutes work though,even though she wandered around with her hands in her pockets or disappeared to phone home endlessly.
She arrived last wed,followed old aupair thurs and fri.She cried whole time,ate a lot,used all the tissues as she sneezed and coughed everywhere(i thought she had cold but turns out she allergic to cat and smokes,hence the coughing) am furious about the smoking,i tell all aupairs they must not be smokers as dd1 has asthma and dd3 is only 2yrs old,she also knew we had a cat.
Halfway through my explaining the pack lunch details ,she informed me she was leaving tomorrow!
She also asked about her money and wants me to send a package on to her using some of it,i agreed but im seething and dont want to pay her for Thurs/fri as she didnt actually do anything.
She also went out with old aupair last night ,got back at 1am drunk and so has a roaring hangover which means she is drinking gallons of juice and eating loads "to help it go"

littlestarschildminding Mon 14-Sep-09 12:10:42

What a horrible experience for you.

I would probably just pay her the days you owe her and get it over with...even if she was totally useless!!! If she has been at work whether she did any work or not you do really owe her the wages from them. I can see why it would be very irritating though.

I would only pay the bare minimum and no extra...I certainly wouldn't be bothering to post on parcels etc for her!!!

kormachameleon Mon 14-Sep-09 12:12:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frakkinpannikin Mon 14-Sep-09 12:21:56

I would be sending the parcel by the most expensive courier I could find! Pay her half rates for working Thursday and Friday (because handover/shadowing is work if you then take up the job and I guess you didn't specify an unpaid trial) and the full rate for today if she actually works?

Do you have to go through the whole AP recruiting drama again now?

nannynick Mon 14-Sep-09 12:48:05

What was you agreement with regards to pay? If you had agreed to pay x amount per week - rather than per-hour of work, then I feel you should pay pro-rata for the days she was there (even if those days were shadowing).

I know it may feel wrong to pay but that time wasn't her own to do as she liked.
If she wants money deducted for posting a parcel to her home, then that's fine... but she may be quite shocked at the cost of postage.

limonchik Mon 14-Sep-09 13:13:01

I think you do owe her for the "shadowing" days even if she was rubbish, unless you agreed beforehand they were unpaid. If you did any other job and were rubbish and quit within a few days, you'd still be paid for the time you did.

Julesnobrain Mon 14-Sep-09 13:24:51

Agree with limonchik you need to pay her, however I personally wouldn't post her parcel. I would tell her to go to the post office on her own time, I would ask her what her leaving plans are for tomorrow and then arrange to escort her out of the door at a time to suit you as I would not leave her in the house unattended..if thats her usual start time 7.00am / 7.30am then fine. I would take her keys back now. I would not be taking her to the airport or train station she can fine her own way there, I would not however leave her wandering rural country lanes if you are in the countryside I would expect her to be left in a place with transport links to airport etc and finally I would be FURIOUS. Try www.gumtree for a replacement there are often au pairs who have already come to the UK and are now staying with friends while looking for a job. Our last Mexican girl had done that and she moved in the next day after reference check.

Totallyfloaty35 Mon 14-Sep-09 14:51:21

Thanks all,when she asked on weds what she should do on Thurs,i said its up to you,you can watch old aupair and see how things work if you like or you can stay in bed and watch tv,old aupair here til monday and will answer any questions,you start monday at 7am.
Have to admit that i could tell from Thurs morning she wasnt going to last.I told old aupair that she should find out if new one was gonna leave and if so tell her to let me know soon as so i could sort replacement.New girl said Sunday morning she was fine and def gonna stay with us,so i was a bit surprised to be told today that she is going.
Half of me is jubilant as would have had to dismis her for smoking anyway and she is a stand around and watch you struggle type,other half of me is really miffed.
Will give her some cash,cant chuck her out,she is someones daughter and would be horrified if someone did that to my child in a strange country.
Her Parents drove her here from the airport,she came into an airport thats a 3hr drive away and apparently they are flying in and driving here to collect her! I dont know what time though,i just hope it doesnt happen while im on school or nursery run.

WhingeBobShitPants Mon 14-Sep-09 15:00:23

why was she crying all the time? Are you sure she isn't ill?

Totallyfloaty35 Mon 14-Sep-09 15:15:50

She homesick, thats why she cries,she was also missing out on a friends big party.
I thought she was ill,but no one else has caught it though.I asked her if she had a cold and needed to go to bed and she said no its the cat and i really need a cigarette!
She is a nice girl actually,rubbish aupair i think,but you can chat with her easily and smallest dd likes her(she will be so confused when this one goes tomorrow sad )But just being nice doesnt make you any gd as an aupair does it?

nannynick Mon 14-Sep-09 16:44:14

Best all round that she goes. Surprised her parents are coming to get her but at least that saves you taking her to the airport. Some cash (Euros may be appreciated) sounds fine.

So what now... will you try to get another au-pair, or look at other options?

frakkinpannikin Tue 15-Sep-09 16:38:33

Has she gone?

Weegle Tue 15-Sep-09 16:43:28

That sounds so odd - that sounds like she never actually wanted to be an AP in the first place and to be handheld by her parents like that, extremely odd. Has she gone now? How did it go?

Totallyfloaty35 Tue 15-Sep-09 18:16:03

She went,hadnt really come out of her room since yesterday anyway.Parent turned up and took her off at noon.
Think some girls dont think it through,i can tell in first 2 days if they gonna last,knew she wouldnt as she turned up with her parents!
Cant be bothered to look for another one either,seems like to much effort at the mo sad

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