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CM : DO YOU HAVE MOMENTS IN WHICH YOU THINK YOU CANT COPE ANYMORE ?

(13 Posts)
Childminderindistress Mon 14-Sep-09 10:21:49

Well I have been feeling like this lately..I cant sleep at night, I have completely let myself go..I'm in tears everyday. I choose to be a cm because I wanted to be with my children and I also love children. But it is so hard, I work full time, I have 2 ds + 2 mindees everyday. Ds1 is at school full time and ds2 is at playgroup every morning but I still find it hard. I only had 1 week break this year so far, the week end I want to do nothing as I'm too tired...I'm completely depressed. Do you have moments like this sometimes ?

Childminderindistress Mon 14-Sep-09 10:26:56

bump

childminder90210 Mon 14-Sep-09 11:19:55

I quite often have times like this, my own children are 6 and 10 and they are constantly being told in a minute mummys busy right now. I think you get it with all jobs but because we work at home we cant get away from our work if you like, its like living in your office. I have busy days and quiet days now which suits me better being busy all the time is no good for anyone. I appreciate that like me you worjk because you need the income, however, maybe you should book hlaf term week off and take a break. It will give ytou something to focus on when you are feeling down and also give you a much needed break. This job is hard sometimes and because we work alone everything always seems worse than it is, hope you feel better soon take care

Childminderindistress Mon 14-Sep-09 11:22:56

Thank you childminder ! My ds are 5 and 2 and they are often neglected, especially when a new child is here and need time to settle..I think I need a break, a holiday or maybe stop completely for a while to put everything back into perspective.

childminder90210 Mon 14-Sep-09 11:28:01

I am having half term week of we have no plans are not going anywhere just going to take each day as it comes good luck, its not easy doing this job sometimes xx

nannynick Mon 14-Sep-09 13:06:30

Providing childcare for other people's children is not something everyone copes well at.

You do need a break from it from time to time... one week a year isn't enough. Could you look at having other times off from minding, such as during school holidays?

Also it may be worth considering if Childminding is really what you want to do. Having 2 mindees is quite low I feel... many childminders care for more children than that - partly due to not being able to make a living from just caring for a couple of children.

As a CM you are able to take your DS1 to school and collect him every day as well. If you worked full-time in another type of work, you wouldn't be able to do that. So your DS1 is getting more attention from you now... than if you did another job. So that's a positive thing to keep in mind.

Also the mindees you have may be high maintenance... whereas other mindees may not be so demanding. How you feel at the end of a day can I feel be dependent on the children for whom you care... some children just need a lot more input than others. Some for example will play independently, while others need you with them all the time.

Do you have a DH/partner? Are they doing their fair share of childcare with DS1/DS2 in the evenings and at weekends? Could they do bedtime routine for example on weekday evenings, so that after a days minding you get to put your feet up?

danthe4th Mon 14-Sep-09 13:25:58

When I started cminding I did it because I have 4 children of my own and 1 had just started playgroup and the others were at school.I started with 2 days a week and now do 3 but mostly term time only. I couldn't keep going if I did it full time. I took nearly 4 weeks hols in the summer and i'm not opening for half terms. I advertise this now and have enough work. I think you have to look at the hours you do and book the next half term off. When my youngest started playgroup I found I couldn't work properly, he was happy to go to playgroup so I paid extra and he went for 4 days, I found that much better. He has now started school but I am still only working 3 days but average £230 a week so for me it works fine, and I top this up with babysitting. You need some me time otherwise you will start resenting having to work.Speak to the parents and see if the children will be going to playgroup and perhaps see if you can work it that they could go on the same day, be honest tell them you want a day a week off, and do it.

HSMM Mon 14-Sep-09 17:39:55

I work 4 days a week and I may have to go up to 5. I will really miss having a day to catch up on everything. DO take some time off. You don't need to go on holiday. It can be term time, so you have some 'me' time, or half term to spend with your children?

crace Mon 14-Sep-09 17:44:27

I think any job that you are constantly working for would start to be overwhelming. Take holiday, you need it for sanity sake. Nick has a lot of good points as well.

I actually don't mind but I have 4 part-timers so it's a mix up daily of who I get and when and that way it's not the same day in/day out which would be hideous for me. I like the chaos wink

missymoo2411 Tue 15-Sep-09 22:35:47

i know were yur comming from i used to work all year with only one week off at xmas as didnt want to let any one down well now i take my full 4 weeks off dont do anything cm related on a weekend turn phone off also i mix with other cm s throught the week as we aall need adult conversation and the kids love it ther is 6 off us now and meet up once a week and r on the other end of the phone if we r needed and we r even plannng a xmas do night out so i get best off both work mates and working from home also they cover any sickness and illness as kids r comfy with them so we r happy and mums n kids r happy so try and mix i bit it might open up your world i have 4 dc of my own and work f/t and wouldnt change it i love my job ..god luck hope u feel better ..missy

Childminderindistress Wed 16-Sep-09 10:32:45

Hi ! Thank you everyone ! I have been feeling better lately and I have a trip to France offered by my parents coming up so something nice to look forward to ! I love the job but I'm just so tired at the moment, I had 2 childrens difficult to settle the last past 7 months so I guess it took its toll ! I'm going to try to have 2 weeks off at xmas !

Numberfour Wed 16-Sep-09 10:45:38

i have also found that being a CM with my own young child was like having your child at work with you rather than staying at home with your child and working, iykwim!

gets better when your own start school which is sad in a way.

PinkChick Wed 16-Sep-09 10:53:23

it is so hard if you have children that are very demanding esp when you have your own (i have a dd too)...i found myself not enjoying it in the summer hols as i had lots through the day instead of just the babies and lots of school runs...i have 9 children now, all part time but am busy every day and am finding it so hard to summon up any energy when i finish from (6.30-6.30/8.30) most days!...as its so low paid i find myself not saying no to people and managing, i dont have any probs caring for any of them but am exhausted at the end of the day and worry my own dd isnt getting as much of mummy as she should be sad

Shes wonderful and enjoys having 'friends' here but i still feeel bad...i also set a bad precident by 'swapping' childrens days around if im on hol part of week!!!..will not do that again i ended up almost having a break down and no one thought any better of me for doing itsad

Im reassessing my terms at the minute, you live and learn smile.x

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